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Are you EXCITED!?! Are you JUMPING Up/and\Down WITH ANTICIPATION!?!?
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<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>
______________________
:::::::`:::::::.:`.____| |____,' .':;::::::::::::
::::::::::.::.:.`. \ | OH FRABJUS DAY!! | / ,',.:.::::.::::::::
:::.::::.:::. - -- > |______________________| < -- - ..:.::.:::::.:
:::::::::::.::.:,' /_______)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(_______\ `.::::.:.:::::.::::
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CONGRATULATIONS! You're a WINNER! And you certainly WANT this BRIDGE
I'm selling! But it's MINE!! Though I'll TELL YOU how to GET YOURS!
It's *Brilliant!* *Powerful!* *Success-Proven!* *Beta-Tested!*
You may just win a GENUINE DIAMOND only a tenth smaller than this "."!
Or a 42" COLOR TV cord! Or a fabulous TWO WEEKS IN NORWAY brochure!!
Make thousands of dollars every hour, with a job at the US Treasury!
You will earn $600,000 every day, just by being a Disney executive!!
Tomorrow - YOU could have LOTS of other C00L and quasi-VALUABLE stuff!
But HOW could I know all this -- unless...I'm PSYCHIC!! So LISTEN UP!!
~~~~~~~
I KNOW what you're thinking! "This must be some kind of sneaky, under-
handed, Hollywood-hyped, flim-flam, rip-off scheme to separate Me from
MY hard-earned SAVINGS!" But you're WRONG! It's NOT sneaky at ALL!!!
It really IS the Perfect GET RICH Formula, which only I have discovered,
and which I am passing its full SECRET *EXECUTIVE* KNOWLEDGE on to YOU!
AHA! Now you're thinking, "WHY would he share his Power-System Secrets
with a complete stranger??" That's a REAL GOOD QUESTION! ...Real good.
Hmmm... NO, it hurts TOO MUCH to think about it, and that's why They're
keeping me in the Soft Cell anyway! ...I think *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[bounceBOUNCEfloppityBANGbounceWHAPbumpBAMBAMthumpetydumdumflop] [Woo.]
"Doesn't that mean *I* have to think?" NO! ... It does NOT take a "Math
Genius Rocket Scientist" to figure this out! Because it's THOUGHT-FREE!
The fact that you're reading this should be proof enough! And if you're
at all worried about getting SOMETHING THIS VALUABLE for NOTHING, rest
assured -- IT IS WORTH IT!! ALL you need to do, is simply "GET a CLUE"!
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Finally! You can get RICH beyond your wildest hopes! HARD to beL.ieve?
That's o-KAYE -- I didn't believe it myself! But look where I am now!!
And so are 8850 others, from Zeiler Avenue to Arleta CA, 91331 in all!!
In other words: POWER! EXCITEMENT! SATISFACTION! THRILLS! ECSTACY!
ROMANCE! THERAPY! HAPPINESS! ENTERTAINMENT! COMPANIONSHIP! RESPECT!
ELOQUENCE! EXCELLENCE! PEACE!! I can't say it any plainer!!
This really IS the *Secret* to GETTING RICH now!! Get what others have
gotten! Help Yourself -- just like CFO's in major movie corporations!
"But wait -- if I WIN, doesn't that mean somebody else has to lose?"
Absolutely "NO"! Not if that "somebody else" never ever FINDS OUT!!
This is a *SECRET FORMULA* - just like it said 5 lines back up there!
S-E-C-R-E-T-! Just for US! Keep it that way! Nuff said! Sheesh!
@==( PRESS SPACE BAR ONE LAST TIME! )==@