INTERNET ALERT - Part 2.5

                    From the Email Mountain:

[6 messages] You claim the distribution is illegal, so why aren't
 you suing these sellers for everything they've got?

LAWSUIT:  That takes money.  The crooks retain large, expensive
 lawfirms.  I have just enough savings to live on.  And I have yet
 to find a capable attorney who will take this case in the name of
 Honor, Justice, and the _potential_ of wringing said crooks of
 their ill-gotten fortunes.  Hollywood distribution companies are
 known for taking as much as possible, then declaring bankruptcy
 when things get too hot, and then reforming under a new name.  One
 contingency lawyer was actually set to go, until he found out the
 crooks already had five lawsuits against them (my movie is not the
 only one involved) -and he didn't want to be 6th in line on a
 contingency suit.

FBI:  As actor William Marshall once sneered (in Amazon Women on
 the Moon), upon seeing the FBI logo at the head of a video, "Oh,
 I'm sooo _scared_!"  LA's FBI rep finally admitted my case was too
 small, that there are hundreds of copyright violation cases ahead
 of me at each of the major movie studios in town, and the FBI is
 far more concerned with the S&L crisis and upcoming bank failures.
 The FBI will only go into action on something that makes it look
 real good, or real bad.

STATE GOVT:  After a few weeks, when I finally got a live voice at
 the California State Attorney General's office, he stonewalled and
 ultimately said "we cannot be the attorney for 30,000,000 people in
 the state of California".  My reminding him of his obligations to
 the taxpayers (his employers) was useless, and laughable.
 Government officals are experienced at saying "no" in every way
 possible.

IRS:  Logically, who better to sic on parasitic leeches than the
 grand-daddy of them all.  Especially when you can show that the
 crooks have done a lot of under-the-table dealing, and their entire
 mis-distribution may have been solely to claim write-offs for three
 years.  But the head crook's father has $135 million, plus a seat
 on the NYSE, and is _very_ good friends with IRS execs.  Even if
 the IRS did get involved, our movie would be seized as property
 until everything was resolved.  Which would be a far cry from
 "immediately".

POLICE:  The police may put someone in prison for stealing a bar of
 candy.  But a business partner embezzling over $100,000, and taking
 another $30,000 cash to illegally assign property - why, that's
 technically a civil case, _not_ a criminal case.  The law won't
 help, you have to hire an attorney.  Back to square one.

But now that worldwide megacorp AVON is involved...suddenly there
 is an amazing opportunity for some very satisfying justice.  Not
 against Avon, necessarily.  Though it is a major player in this
 game.

I used to be dynamite at chess, at age 10.  The puzzle-solving
 talent was completely rerouted into filmmaking, to assembling near-
 infinite variables of vision, sound, circumstance and human
 interaction into an emotionally attractive medium.  Now, it's
 chessgame time again. With a chance for a dazzling checkmate.

The next step is for Avon to become aware of WIZARD's fan-following
 and demand.  If that is substantial, your chance as a white knight
 comes in two weeks.  Get a postcard ready.  Buy Avon's WIZARD while
 you can.  And stay tuned to alt.fan.m-j.

 __________________________________________ ___._`.*.'_._ ________
   Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc        .   . +  * .o   o.* `.`. +.
 c/o 902 Maltman, LA 90026-2714     '   *  . ' ' |\^/|  `. * .  *
      alt.fan.mike-jittlov       (: May All Your  \V/  Good Dreams
  jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu   and Fine Wishes  /_\  Come True:)
 =============================================== _/ \_ ===========

Late-breaking revelation:  this is NOT the "Wizard of Speed and
 Time" currently enjoying cult-classicdom in the USA.  Rather, it
 appears this is the earlier version, distributed (albeit poorly) in
 Europe, Australia, and Japan.  It is about 3 minutes longer, with
 more of my esteamed business partner's scenes and "humor", and 8.5
 minutes less music (he hates music).  Buy it for the box, or
 comparison with the laserdisk, or for archival value when the
 villains' karma runs over their dogma. >;>

As of 6/16/93, no Avon execs have responded to my five letters.
 (Though my return-receipt cards came back.)  The Wizard's sleeves
 are a-heatin' up - this could be a powerful big whammy...