Summary: Mike's losing his connection...with...
 Keywords: Jittlov, coffee, wizard, coffee, cookies, coffee :d

>jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.duh (Mike Jittlov) dumps:
   [[[Apocryphal Neiman-Marcus $250 Cookie Recipe Story deleted]]]

gharlane@nextnet.csus.edu (Gharlane of Eddore) corrects:
 >Mike, if you don't recognize it, this is the classic "Hundred-Dollar
 >Cookie Recipe" yarn.   It's been told about Famous Amos, Mrs. Fields,
 >Neiman-Marcus, and just about any other class cookie peddler you could
 >mention. Specific variations of this "true story" are documented in
 >the FAQ file over on "alt.urban.myths," along with taste-test

adamsd@crash.cts.com (Adams Douglas) warns:
 >URBAN LEGEND! URBAN LEGEND! WARNING, WILL ROBINSON!

harlock@rahul.net (Mike Harlock) adds salt to open wound:
 >Wow, haven't seen this one in a while.   Anyone have any idea how
 >old this one is?  I date it to the mid-80's or so...

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 GHODS, I am So Embarrassed!  I truly canNOT believe I fell for this!!
 I'm not even going to attempt to post some feeble, lame excuse - like I
 was using a mediocre cookie recipe to start a news thread that will
 lead to a brilliant, mind-boggling direction of Jittlovian Net-rant.
 I shall merely hang my head in shame, until the Coffee is ready and
 (slurp :d) Iii canblastbackintoactionandcovermytracks!

Never again!!!  NO MORE FAKE URBAN MYTHS!  Not in _this_ group!!
 Ever U.M. MUST be _original_, and with a minimum of typographical
 misteaks!  CAPS are allowed!!

PXF3@psuvm.psu.edu (MWW Paula Ford) understands:
 >Welcome to junkieville, Rich.  But it's not nicotine we put into
 >this group.  It's _caffeine_, Our drug of choice.  ;-)

What?-NO!  It's not a "drug"!  (And not a "choice", not anymore!)
 It's your _friend_!  Your BEST Friend!!  It is Barney in a Bean!
 No, better!  It's a whole LOT of Friends, all carefully chosen from
 only the finest on the mountain, and roasted to a rich, robust blend!

 Here! -- does THIS -->           /==N          Ascii Portrait
 look like a "drug"?             /   |
                           CH3--N    |            of a sacred
 NO WAY!!  It looks              \   |
 like a happy tinkertoy           \==|          C*A*F*F*E*I*N*E
 person going for a               /  \
 morning walk!  Or for           /    \             Molecule
 a midnight run!  Just       O==<      N--CH3
 had a cuppa java, yeah!         \    /            out for a
 And he/she's whistling,          N--<
 or maybe spitting, or           /   \\           Morning Jog
 something!  Whatever!!!        /     \\
                             H3C      O            -- by jittlov :d

gharlane@nextnet.csus.edu assures:
 >"Coffee" is no more a mystical experience than is hashish, opium, pot,
 >alcohol, or any of the many other things that foul up the way a brain
 >works.

Yes.  So...What is your point?

cpuchala@sun1.iusb.indiana.edu (Chuckles ^!^) admits:
 >I've never drunk coffee, myself, as it tastes like burnt dirt.

Well SURE!  Especially if it's fresh-GROUND!  (gad whatastraightline;)
 And seriously, if the coffee taste becomes a little overpowering, I
 just chase the cup with a few bottles of over-the-counter cough syrup!
 --But NO DRUGS, EVER!!  :d

>Caffeine is in coffee, tea, chocolate, and even certain brands of
 >orange juice.  It's even in many species of aspirin, since it's a
 >vasodilator .... it helps quell headaches... until

Right!!  Holy Coffee makes all my headaches go AWAY!  Between every
 cup!!  Just like MAGIC!!  *:d

lee@soda.berkeley.edu (Lee Thompson-Herbert) corrects:
 > That's vasoconstrictor.  If you're going to be pedantic, get your facts

Gharlane of Eddore  rejects:
 > Caffeine is a vasodilator.  "Vasodilator" is what I meant, what I typed,

It's a vasolineator!  Whatever!!  COFFEE doesn't CARE!!  It just WORKS!

mathew@mantis.co.uk (Snakes of Medusa) informs:
 >It acts as a bronchodilator, and therefore makes breathing easier for
 >asthmatics.  It's medically proven to help you breathe more easily.
 >Or at least, that's my excuse.

No, NO excuses!!  You don't need reason, when you have MEDICAL PROOF!

mbkomor@remarque.berkeley.edu (Meriday Beth Komor) illuminates:
 >I think that's why you feel better when you drink coffee. -There
 >are other ways to do the same thing that won't boost your stress
 >levels too. DMG and vitamin E can help a lot, and Azmacort is
 >totally amazing! -so is albuterol :)

Yes - but NONE of them tastes like BOILING BURNT DIRT!!!!!!!!!!
 

                                   `  . ,'   `    ' .` *. .     .
 _____________________________. '. . : +. `. . , u~  , `+:+ '..+  .
  Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc   +    .  :       \| \|' `.  +'  .'
   Hollywood, CA 90026-2714    (: May All Your Good.Beans*
   <& alt.fan.mike-jittlov>    and Fine Wishes /\/\ `Come True!|
 ============================= and Wine Fishes|\ ./|+Come Brew:)
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