[posted this shortly after I got some flack for cross-posting
 the Hillbiking Articles in the new alt.fan.letterman group]
 {also got a lot more fun & positive responses}


Why the h**k did I post to Letterman

Didn't I know any better??

                  The Truth May Surprise You

(I have kept this out of the hands of the scum-swaddling
 sleaze-dogs of the news media.  Until now)

On April 11, 1980, I was asked by the David Letterman production
 coordinators to be one of Dave's first guests, on the very first
 David Letterman Show.

I visited the long and mostly-carpeted first-floor offices at
 Universal Studios Building #473.  Dave even had his own office,
 and greeted me with a gracious but tired smile.  He seemed a bit
 frazzled, and no doubt had many things on his mind.  We went next
 door, to a room with a working U-matic videodeck.  The union video
 technicians were evidently at a meal-break, so we closed the door
 and Dave motioned for me to just go on and operate the machine
 myself.  I put on my promotional tape, with "The Wizard of Speed
 and Time" original short.

As the filmworks played, Dave immediately brightened...then showed
 considerable awe, and then even laughed out loud.  He no doubt
 secretly praised the investigative resources of his talent scouts,
 and enjoyed the thought of having this high-tech stuff on his
 nationwide debut.

I was escorted to the production coordinator (Buddy M, I believe),
 who wanted to "firm up the concept" for that all-important first
 show.  We talked.  But soon, it was apparent that I had to decline
 the honor - for several reasons:

First - the producers wanted to air my films, complete and full-
 length, without paying me.  Now, my WIZARD short had just aired on
 ABC's primetime pilot, "Buckshot", for a $25,000 fee.  This new
 deal hardly seemed fair.  Granted, Dave might be doing this show
 for love - but these executives and these office suites were
 obviously costing hundreds of dollars.

Second - the producers wanted me to fly to New York - where the
 show was being taped - but wouldn't even pay for my airfare, or
 for my accommodations.  Possibly I "could run there, at super-
 speed, like in the film?"  I found the humor unworthy.

Third - the show was on at 10am EST (or 7am PST).  No can do -
 that's about the time I go to sleep.  And they weren't even going
 to guarantee me free, potable coffee.

I returned to Dave's office, and shared with him my feelings.  He
 looked at a wall corner, gripping and rotating his personalized
 cup, and apologizing for the sorry state of talent compensation.
 It was that darned network executive attitude.  Even though
 talent and creativity were the show's very foundation and reason
 for being, it was the suits and their suites who grabbed the cash.
 Dave just did not yet have the raw power and iron-fisted authority
 that he might someday wield.  Although, in that future time, if I
 was ever somehow available...

We parted on amiable grounds, and went on to our separate glories.
 But we never spoke again.

Now..  Far be it for me - a mere internationally-acclaimed and
 multi-award-winning filmmaker-director-writer-actor-artist with
 a million bizarre adventures - to tell a fellow NewsGroup icon
 how to be a Success...but these are The Facts:

     I did not appear on David Letterman's first series.
     The series was cancelled.
     I did not appear on David Letterman's second series.
     That series is about to be cancelled.

             ..."Coincidence"?  Or Cosmic Plan?

I've heard that Dave and his Staff read this NewsGroup.  So I
 am posting an open invitation to the LNwDL Talent Coordinators:

Dave personally offered me a "window of opportunity" should I
 ever reconsider the offer to be a guest.

I am now standing in that window.
 The choice is yours.

"Let's talk"

 _________________________________________ ___._`.*.'_._ ________
  Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc        .   . +  * .o   o.* `.`. +.
  902 Maltman, LA, 90026-2714      '   *  . ' ' |\^/|  `. * .  *
 (213) No-Human (noon to moon)  (: May All Your  \V/  Good Dreams
 jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu   and Fine Wishes  /_\  Come True:)
 ============================================== _/ \_ ===========


[Probably shouldn't have included my phone number.  But I just
 got a bunch of hangups.  Probably Big Dave, just kidding around]