Newsgroup: alt.fan.mike-jittlov, article: 3106
 From: jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu (Mike Jittlov)
 Newsgroups: alt.fan.mike-jittlov,sci.skeptic,rec.humor,alt.religion.kibology
 Subject: Jesus Sighted in Shakey City
 Date: 20 Jan 1994 12:40:25 GMT
 Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
 Summary: I C JC in LA
 Keywords: Jesus, earthquake, Jittlov
 Xref: nntp-server.caltech.edu alt.fan.mike-jittlov:3106 sci.skeptic:59801
rec.h
 mor:118013 alt.religion.kibology:8091


In message-ID 2hf883$jkt@orion.cc.andrews.edu,
   clarence@orion.cc.andrews.edu (Clarence L. Thomas IV) warns
   in about 20 NewsGroups (but Thank Ghod not THIS one):
 >The earthquake in Los Angeles, California, the flood in Europe, the
 >seemingly unstoppable war in the former Yugoslavia, the devastating
 >fires in Australia, the flood in the Midwest of the United States of
 >[etc etc etc].  These rapidly accelerating signs are an indication
 >that Jesus is coming soon (Matthew 24).  [Commandments 1-10 listed]


Avis Minger and Michael O'Brien have just reported unto me
 that one Jesus H. Christ was seen at 11:11 pm last night,
 walking south on the Los Angeles River, when he was arrested
 for violating this earthquake-torn city's dusk-to-dawn curfew.

Failing to present a driver's license or proper identification,
 Mr. Christ is being held in the Hollywood Police Station's
 Elvis Division, while authorities continue trying to contact his
 father.  "Hardcopy", "Inside Edition" and "X-Files" attorneys
 are currently negotiating his bail, in return for an exclusive
 TV special covering highlights of his last 1,965 years.

LAPD Desk Sergeant Cliff Martinez is quoted as stating, "Forget
 the long hair and beard, JC's a model prisoner.  And hey, I'd
 love to know how he does that trick with the city water -- this
 stuff's better than a 72 Zinfandel."

 ________________________________________ ___._`.*.'_._ ________
  Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc       .   . +  * .o   o.* `.`. +.
  Shakey City, CA 90026-2714      '   *  . ' ' |\^/|  `. * .  *
 jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu  (: May All Your  \V/  Good Dreams
   <& alt.fan.mike-jittlov>    and Fine Wishes  /_\  Come True:)
 ============================================= _/ \_ ===========

"I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the
 earthquake...The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
 -- Ex-Vice President Dan Quayle after the SF quake, 10/19/89