From: jittlov@erehwon.caltech.edu. (Mike Jittlov)
[1] Original Kelly Freas WIZARD Movie Posters! (265 lines)
Summary: Kelly Freas WIZARD Posters, get'em while ye can!
Keywords: Wizard,Kelly,Freas,movie posters,Jittlov,$ubliminal$
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.* THE INCREDIBLY COLORFUL AND PERSONALLY AUTOGRAPHED '. .
. . . . FRANK KELLY FREAS POSTERS . . .
. . . +. OF . + . `|'
. . : THE WIZARD OF SPEED AND TIME! . . --*--
-*- . . . . .'|.
+ . : . * . : .
. A Brief History of the Poster .
.
FRANK KELLY FREAS is the Fantasy and Science Fiction worlds' most
most beloved and acclaimed artist -- and one who really makes all
of his real-life subjects look their best. He's painted beautiful
portraits of the original "Star Trek" cast; hundreds of covers for
_Analog_, _Astounding_ and _Mad_Magazine_ (while painting over
500 saints' portraits for the Franciscans); and the album cover of
Queen's first 2,000,000-seller ("News of the World"). A 10-time
Hugo Award Winner (...always wondered what he did with all those
little cars...), Kelly's design for NASA's Skylab 1 insignia now
hangs in the Smithsonian.
And in 1984, Kelly Freas was commissioned to paint a theatrical
poster of my "Wizard of Speed and Time" movie personnum. He took
several Polaroids of me, in prep for a full-face portrait. This
painting was not my idea, and I was reluctant. The movie was
already enough to brand me an ego-maniac, let alone having my mug
overwhelming its poster. I drew a sketch from the new "Wizard
Run" beginning (which sequence is still unfilmed, the observatory
is a temp shot) suggesting that we use the entire wizard, flying
through new realities, taking energy from his own world and giving
"magic" to the poster's viewer. In other words, minimize me,
concentrate on our production fantasy elements, and I'd love to
see our leading lady (Paige Moore, Miss Virginia 1980) featured
on the largest planet, etc etc.
Instead of reeling from this foolish filmmaker's requests, Kelly
_listened_ to me -- and then really got into the spirit of our
feature film. He not only created a knock-out movie poster, but
even added a lot of subliminals throughout:
* Paige's dreamy face (and a kind of curled up nude behind her) is
up on the premiere planet - which is a surreal mosaic (with the
letters "Polly", Kelly's first wife & model, woven in the forms
-- and maybe more)
* Below it is a portrait of Einstein (which I sometimes see, or
more often not -- maybe it's an IQ indicator)
* Down across the entire bottom, the nebulae create a vague but
readable "Here Comes Mike Jittlov" (awwww :)
* Above that, is a cat-faced planet (Maybe for our 23-year-old
housecat...I didn't ask.) (But I _like_ cats)
* The entire star-spread behind the Wizard looks like a heart,
upside-down (matching the WIZ-hood's distinctive shape)
* In the star-stream to the right, 5" above the title, is a teeny
tiny Happy-Face (since I am credited/blamed by some for creating
it in 1965 -- though it actually co-arose from three others in
the US-of-A, & maybe even from that type-glyphed :-)
* In the star-stream to the right (8" N, 3" W), there's a teeny
tiny Pac-Man, which I did NOT in any way invent or create, and
which is brashly depicted there without a copyright
* Above the Wizard, to the right, is a Cackling Spider Planet
(possible presageant to Meriday Beth's jumpy spider <*>^<*>?)
* At the fingertips of the Wizard's left hand (as a wink to the
author of "Subliminal Seduction"), the lightning bolts form
the letters SEX (or SFX, depending on your upbringing)
* And there's gotta be more sublims that even _I_ can't find!
(because Kelly just grins when I ask him...)
I also made the WIZARD titles at bottom (designing an *original*
Jittlovian font, Kibo!), meticulously Xacto-cutting letters from
yellow Pantone paper, during rare film-production breaks. Looks
quite clean, passingly professional. Kelly was actually delighted
and said that the original painting was mine to keep, as his gift.
Shortly after my esteamed business partner (who also played the
evil, slimey, embezzling, sociopathic producer in our WIZARD film)
locked me out of our office (I'm only the corporation President),
I did demand the Freas original artwork -- but e.b.p. said it was
gone, he had no idea where it was. The original oil painting, its
four-color separations, my title-treatment -- ALL have vanished.
Well, before you could say "Restraining Order", the e.b.p. also
vanished -- with all of our office records, equipment, VCR's, and
supplies -- and without a forwarding address. The only thing left
behind was the small, unwieldy pile of these Posters, the last of
the already modest 4,000-print run. Many of these survivors were
bent, torn, scored or otherwise damaged. But not all of them...
==================================================================
INSERT: SHAMELESS AD for POSTERS
==================================================================
I have saved the perfect ones, and culled out any printing errors.
These are the same Posters that we sold at WorldCon 1984, and they
are still in brilliant mint condition. If you were too young to
get a Kelly Freas Wizard Poster then, here's a second last chance.
They are FAR from your dime-a-dozen, thin-as-tissue, theatrical
one-sheets (which crazed collectors nevertheless pay $$,$$$ for)!
THESE Posters are all lithograph-printed on heavy-duty 80-pound
Nova-coat gloss cover-stock! And they will endure.
They are RARE. They are the ORIGINAL. They are the LAST OF THEIR
KIND. (Jeeze - can I identify with that..) Suitable for framing.
And they are JUST A PALTRY $30!! Yes!! You read that right!!!
They're NOT available in stores! Only right HERE, on YOUR SCREEN!
People have resold them for $100! A Canadian fan once bought two,
then sold the second for $200! To a UseNetter! That's insane!!
Buy them from the Source, and SAVE!!! BUY more, _SAVE_ MORE!!
Act now (like, while I'm still ALIVE), and you can also get my
legendary personalized 20-minute autograph for FREE -- but without
waiting in a sci-fi & fantasy convention's 5-hour line, hoping-to-
ghod there's still a Poster left when you get to the Wiz-Meister.
-<% AUTOGRAPHS and SIGNED EDITIONS - the DETAILS %>-
Unlike most other movie-star-director-screenwriter-producer-editor
-animator-inflated-ego types, MY signature is actually *LEGIBLE*.
Unlike most busy Hollywood moguls (Walt Disney), my signature is
actually *REAL*! Furthermore, it can be ornately calligraphied in
gold ink (in a subliminal-free space)(I think) and *PERSONALIZED*!
Just TRY getting any movie poster legibly autographed to You by
George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, or Irwin Allen! Alright, maybe
if you're Kibo. But try getting one signed by George Melies, Al
Einstein, Isaac Newton, Leo Da Vinci or anyone else I channel!
You CAN'T! Not legally. Only MY signature is STILL AVAILABLE!!
But I have changed the RULES. (Tho not much, so don't flame me.)
You no longer HAVE to have the Poster personally dedicated. I've
caved in to fervent demand, and now offer a plethora of choices:
-<$ PERSONALIZED $>-
YES -- a Poster can be dedicated To You, Yours, To One You Desire,
To Theirs, Whoever, Whatever (G-rated, please) -- and with a short
object of the preposition (like my sig-phrase below, from WIZARD's
birthday song; or "Nothing Stops the Creative Spirit", the sublim
seen on a single frame in the WIZ RUN, where the Wall comes down).
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO WRITE HERE! And remember: Less is More.
-<& SIGNATURE ONLY &>-
I have received numerous requests for Posters with JUST my name,
and no dedication. (Gosh, Mr. Dealer, are YOU the one reselling
them for $180?) Like, this is a supremely valuable, singularly
unique event, and a stylized signature cannot be forged. (And if
you believe that, I have this Bible autographed by the Holy Spirit,
in glow-in-the-dark ink, _with_ the original shrink-wrap!) Anyway,
I am limiting orders to one "Signature Only" Poster per tube; any
such extras ordered will be mailed out unsigned and pristine.
-<@ VIRGIN @>-
Contrary to the laws of nature, Virgins are EASY! I don't have to
do a thing - no signing, no thinking - just lay them, roll them &
send them (...let me rephrase that... nahhh). And yet they still
cost the same as non-Virgins -- $30 each (could be a lesson here).
It's pure Freasian Art, and no limit on your order (within reason,
and so long as tube, postage, checks & supplies are sufficient).
-<# NUMBERED EDITION #>-
This scam applies to any and all of the above. Since signed and
numbered editions of Poster Art are in such Hot Demand, and since
You asked, then *YES* -- I will personally place a NUMBER of your
choosing in the lower left (or right) corner! Fat Lot of Good it
will do, but anything to keep some people rich and happy. (If you
already have a Poster, and are in despair that it is not a Numbered
Edition, simply get a Pilot Gold Marker -- and carefully scribe in
whatever number you want! Amaze your friends, confuse your foes!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CRAZY WIZARD GOES WILD!!! We're clearin'em out to the bare walls!!!
-*- What to DO -*- What to DO -*- What to DO -*- What to DO -*-
A) Send to me money, $30 American per Poster (checks are okay; but
US Postal Money Orders are best, & don't need "clearing time");
B) Send to me a poster tube, at least 2' long and 2.5" in diameter
and of very sturdy nature, as the USPO does!crush!these!things!
(NOTE: I cannot guarantee safe mailing; if you send a $2 tube,
there is a good chance your investment will be ruined; be not
penny-wise and dollar-foolish, get thee to an art supply store
and buy a reliably strong, lightweight plastic maiing tube
($8-$17 +tax) -- which will last for many more uses);
C) Send to me sufficient return postage (now $3 inside the US), in
US stamps (*no* machine-stamps, as LA's PO won't accept them!);
D) Enclose a return-label with Your LEGIBLE name and address;
E) Enclose LEGIBLE preferences for the signature/dedication (don't
send that by email, as my net-access is always tenuous);
F) OR -- Pick it up personally at the Wiz-House for $30 in cash,
and ignore steps A) through E)!
If you send a letter or anything you want responded to or returned
(no scripts please, I have lots of my own) -- kindly enclose a self
-addressed-stamped-envelope/mailer and your patience (cuz it's just
me, here -- no secretary, staff, or funding). [INSERT violin solo]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Let's see...what else..?)
I am not selling any of my Shapiro Glickenhaus Ent posters. ...Yet.
I prefer to wait until that company goes physically bankrupt first,
and its principal devils hurled into the most fiery region of their
appropriate hereafter, eternally fed a diet of gaseous legumes. };>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-*#! FURTHERMORE and IN CONCLUSION !#*-
I've received numerous email messages from Certain People who just
don't-have-the-Time to find and buy a poster tube - and who want to
send me $2 to buy one for Them, and maybe some stamps with Elvis or
Marilyn, and a well-written label, and also autograph that. :p
Well, _SHUCKY_DARNS_! >MumbleGrumbleSnarlClenchSnortHarumph<
Please understand, that I am using up my story/script-writing and
creative synapses on this; EACH Poster sale ultimately costs me
over two hours of reading, replying, then re-replying and asking if
you TRULY want me to write THAT below your name, prepping, signing,
re-signing (when my special pen drops a golden glop over a lengthy
dedication), care & handling, then bicycling to the bank, standing
in line, check cashing, bicycling from the bank to the post office,
more standing in line, hoping-to-ghod my bike's tires haven't been
slashed, and getting back home before the evening gunfire begins.
This really is not what I want to do with my remaining lifetime.
I should be making movies or videos. A tangible income. Getting
the heck out of this city, moving to Norway to find my future Wife
and a productive life and a few more hopeless daydreams. So get
these remarkable Posters while you can, and help me to help you.
For non-USA Poster-orders from Down Under, Up Above, and Over
There... I understand the hardship, and will buy the materials at
cost. But you must enclose full payment in USA dollars (because
folks still believe these Greenback$ are worth something) to cover
the following: poster ($30 each), strong plastic tube ($10), and
postage (now $4.07 to Canada/Mexico; $7.80 to everywhere else).
(If it gets cheaper, I will return all unspent balance in US$.
If they raise the postal rates, my prices will stay the same 'til
1998. Or until I get down to the last few, incredibly rare and
precious posters, at which point they may only be available at a
$otheby's Auction ;)
__________________________________________ __ ._`.*.'_._ ____ ____
Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc . . + * .o o.* `.`. +. .
902 North Maltman Avenue ' * . ' ' |\^/| `. * . * `
Los Angeles, CA 90026-2714 (: May All Your \V/ Good Dreams . +
(213) 664-8626 (noon, to moon) and Fine Wishes /_\ Come True:) .`.
=============================================== _/ \_ ============::::. *
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