Subject: Wizard gets Quake-Up Call
 Summary: Shaken, but not stirred
 Keywords: Jittlov, Los Angeles, earthquake, Norway, wanna leave

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 (Off-center, actually -- but that is expected from this Source)

With my Net connection through Caltech's Gumby, it's taken a while
 to reroute access around the media barrage now demanding Caltech's
 seismological updates.  But I am _in_, and my house lights are on
 (or I'd be typing and posting all this by candlelight).

I can also verify that Meriday is safely at home in Cambria, a four
 -hour drive to the north.  So, any rumors of her somehow "making the
 earth move" down here are completely unwarranted.  Unless that's
 another thing she can do long-distance.

I'd just logged off at 4am, after NetTalking with her.  We'd had a
 bizarre connection crash, with both our screens suddenly blasted by
 gibberish.  I called her back by phone, we traded goodnights, and
 then I got about ten minutes of sleep...until all Los Angeles got
 its 4:31 am Wake-Up Call.

Here in the Silverlake area (between Hollywood and Downtown LA), it
 felt like just another strong rolling quake.  But when it suddenly
 surged, with every bookcase in my bedroom heaving and banging against
 the walls -- I decided to get out of bed, and grab for my specs.  The
 lights didn't work, there was no moon outside, everything was pitch-
 black and I could hear glass breaking throughout the house.  I heard
 my mother cry out from her bedroom, but then confirmed she was
 alright. Neither of us dared move -- pictures were crashing, dishes
 were falling -- it was an obstacle course, and getting outside was
 far more dangerous than staying put.

If you've seen our "Wizard of Speed and Time" feature, this is the
 same location used in the movie.  It's a real-life, working home
 -- now twisting and groaning under the thrall of a tectonic hiccup.

It seemed like a lot longer, but after 30 seconds the quake rumbled
 to shock-stillness.  I put my clothes and shoes on, used a keychain
 penlight to guide my way to the house flashlights, then to Mom's
 bedroom, and guided her out.  As she went to check all the damage, a
 strong aftershock stopped her and everything thundered and rumbled
 again.  The event felt supernatural, it's easy to imagine tunnelling
 dragons or thundergods pounding giant hammers outside.  We just held
 the china cabinet to the wall, and rode the quake out.

The kitchen stove and refrigerator were still standing, but there was
 a hissing sound from the water heater, and a growing puddle under it.
 I crunched my way to the back door, and stepped outside to shut off
 the main water valve.  The phones were out, probably the plumber's
 answering machine as well -- no way to get on his repair list, yet.

I had a very odd feeling, possibly from shock of the change...nothing
 felt real.  An apparent fog swirled everywhere, but totally dry - the
 air was filled with dust.  And above me was a view of a bright starry
 night -- a very rare sight in LA.  All city lights were out.  More
 lightbeams swept through dust, and our neighbors came over.  Mom
 traded exclamations, and went nextdoor to check their damages.

Our emergency radio's stations were abuzz, each scrabbling to get the
 quake's magnitude number and origin point.  I thought of saving flash
 batteries by lighting candles, but the radio immmediately mentioned
 candles could ignite leaking gas or set a fire with the next temblor.
 I didn't have to be told to store water, and turned on the tub faucet,
 but the stream quickly ran rust-brown.  The radio next warned not to
 flush the toilet -- its water could be filtered and boiled for coffee.

That did it -- I went back to bed.  It was too dark and I was too
 tired to do anything worthwhile.  Sleep was difficult, with frequent
 shake-rattle-and-roll of the quake's aftershocks.  I had flashbacks of
 sleeping on the train from Land's End.

Around noontime, I finally decided to wake up.  With a really bad
 headache.  I usually have these before quakes, and they disappear
 soon after.  This quarter-pounder was not a good sign.  And a new
 aftershock hit, giving my bedroom another bookalanche -- though this
 one was a much milder Magnitude 5 (shaken, not stirred).

In the chaos of natural disaster, it's always fascinating what goes
 unharmed.  Little miracles abounded, Mom's collection of Czech crystal
 survived.  On the other end of the scale, my workroom was a landfill,
 videotapes and filmreels angrily thrown everywhere.  Nearly all the
 movie props made it without a scratch - I could still sell this stuff
 and buy a little more future.  But my computer had toppled, its cables
 stringing down to the modem and monitor on the floor.  The TV's front
 was cracked, its cable-connectors broken, no little indicators lit,
 nothing working.  Maybe this is a Sign.  I can finally quit this Net
 addiction, and get a life, find my wife.  ...Oh terrific, my S-VHS
 VCR's gone -- so much for making a demo-sampler of my Norway trip.
 I was planning to contact local stations, show them three dynamite
 minutes and pitch myself as a foreign correspondent at Lillehammer's
 Olympics.  At least the master tapes were safe.  And my video camera.

I walked through the house, videotaping the mess in case we still had
 earthquake insurance and somehow exceeded its high deductible.  The
 bathroom sink was also unuseable, filled with broken bottles and old
 boxes from the medicine cabinet above.  We still had prescriptions
 from when my Dad died in 68.  Perhaps an earthquake is really Fate's
 little way of saying "time to toss".

Site of the "Wizard" movie's stop-motion marching tripod sequence, the
 Jittlov Garage looked as it did after the evil producer crashed into
 and destroyed the set.  Our central table-of-all-holding was amazingly
 split in two sections, two feet apart, with storage boxes still piled
 neatly atop.  There were some pretty bad cracks in the cement floor.

More cracks laced the house, with a few around the new porch Mom was
 using her retirement money to repair (after the last quake).  Our
 rebuilt chimney was still solid and attached.  Not so lucky were our
 neighbors' chimneys.  I walked up the narrow lane of Maltman Avenue,
 on an otherwise beautiful and sunny day, and videotaped the contrast.
 Most of the damage was internal; but no broken windows, no one hurt.

Meanwhile back at the J-House, electric power zipped back on, along
 with the TV.  It was The Event for every Los Angeles VHF station, as
 side-titles blared: "The Big One", "The Big Quake", "Earthquake 94!",
 "The Great Quake of 94!".  This was even bigger than Michael Jackson's
 Trial by Media.  Newsbites were matched by news-anchor platitudes,
 like "Whatever doesn't kill you, just makes you stronger."  Bleh.
 I been there, too many times.  It may be true, but there's a _lot_ of
 heavy-duty downer stuff between nondeath and strength.  A Martyr's
 Life is not inexpensive.  ...But preferable to the alternative.  Come
 to think of it, we were really, very lucky.

TV News showed fires raging through a park full of trailer homes.
 The freeways had collapsed, levels had fallen.  Sixteen people died
 in one apartment building.  29 railroad cars derailed, spilling HCl
 acid.  The two aquaducts were down, and city water supply was only
 expected to last 5-7 days.  People were lined up to buy water and
 batteries.  More lines waited outside liquor stores, it's Miller Time.

And we were safe, we were alive.  My Amiga 2000 suddenly clicked and
 hummed back to speed.  Oh joy.  The crack was only on its monitor's
 dimmer screen, and the cables could be held on with tape.

The phones were also working again, and Meriday was the first to get
 through.  We couldn't call or modem out, but a lot of friends and
 fans rang us from across the US.  My mother thanks all of you for
 your concern over our family's safety.  Everyone's been very helpful.
 Mason Ramon came by to check the porch damage, then fixed the pipe
 leak for free.  John Strong (my mother's great boyfriend and fellow
 ex-teacher) came by to comfort and help clean up.  My mother's best
 friend, Ella Nachtigal, was forced to vacate her Valley apartment --
 which, closer to the epicenter, is in even worse condition -- and
 she was invited to sleep here tonight.  Mom cooked her legendary
 spaghetti sauce, John made a fire, and all three watched a video of
 "Tootsie" on our working VCR.

I plopped the 4" emergency TV on my monitor, and started typing this
 as Channel 13 interrupted the news reports to play the latest "Star
 Trek" episode.  And, as usual, everyone else called me during that
 hour.  Cindy Coloni phoned from Wisconsin, where it's 80 degrees
 below zero (with windchill), and 18 deaths have been reported from
 the East Coast freeze.  A few days ago she wanted to move to here.
 But at the moment, "Never mind".  At 9:30 pm in LA, it was actually
 on the warm side.  Dust still hanging in the air.

The Disaster to Date:
 - It's a magnitude 6.6 quake, at 4:31am, Monday, January 17, 1994
 - Four aftershocks have registered Magnitude 5 to 5.7, with over 90
  temblors above Magnitude 3
 - 34 people are dead (5 by heart attack), with thousands more injured
 - 300,000 residents are without electrical power
 - 100,000 residents are without water
 - 7 major freeways are closed with collapsed sections
 - Major fires caused by broken gas lines continue to burn
 - Schools are closed for 64,000 students - but not for the district's
  28,000 teachers, who are asked to report for work and clean-up if
  they can safely negotiate the freeway system
 - The FAA issued a ground stop for LA International Airport; no
  flights are being allowed in or out
 - The Quake was centered in the northern San Fernando Valley (and
  sadly too far west to have adequately destroyed the Arleta home
  of my business partner - who also played the slimy, lying,
  embezzling, sociopathic villain in our "Wizard" feature).
 - The Governor's declared a State of Emergency, and the President's
  signed a Declaration of Disaster
 - The National Guard's been stationed in key areas to stop looters
 - The California Highway Patrol's gearing up for a commuter nightmare,
  noteably over the loss of the Santa Monica Freeway (which carries
  374,000 vehicles daily)
 - As with LA's recent firestorms, rainstorms, windstorms, and riots,
  the government's coping with calamity by planning to increase the
  California Sales Tax again ("temporarily", of course).  Said taxes
  go to the same local government that preferred building a subway
  in this quake-prone county, instead of a cheaper and more easily
  accessed/repaired monorail.
 - The Valley is now a little narrower, and at the present rate Los
  Angeles will reach San Francisco in 50,000,000 years
 - There's a dusk-to-dawn citywide curfew.  (Surprisingly, I've heard
  no nightly gunfire.  My neighbors are probably saving their ammo.)

Big Scientific Question of the Moment:  "Where does the fault lie?"
 Well, if you're a typical Los Angeles native, you blame yourself.
 But if you want MY opinion -- it's the LA water bottling companies.
 Most Angelenos think the supermarket and home-delivery water comes
 from high mountains and glacial streams, like the bottles' pictures
 show.  But the Truth is, most of that water is actually pumped right
 out of the LA aquifer, and filtered to meet legal contaminant levels.
 Obviously, this pumping has weakened the local substrata, which when
 you couple it with the weight of over 19,500,000 residents, cars and
 homes, plus the recent Christmas parades, holiday tourists and Rose
 Parade crowds...a quake is inevitable.  And who, I dare ask, stands to
 benefit most?  Why -- those water sellers, of course!  This reporter
 demands an immediate investigation!!  Perhaps I should crosspost this
 to alt.conspiracy /\/\/\/\/\||||Whoops, here comes another shaker..!
 ..Or maybe it's just this city-water flavored coffee. :p

                                  `  . ,'   `    ' .` *. .     .
 _____________________________. '.   : +. :: .   ,,  , `+:+':..+  .
 Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc   +       :       \|"\|' `: :+   :'
  Hollywood, CA 90026-2714    (: May All Your Good.Dreams
  <& alt.fan.mike-jittlov>    and Fine Wishes /\/\ `Come True:|
 ============================= and Fine Wishes|\ ./|+Come True:)
                             ================ '  .' ===========
   All things considered,
  I'd rather be in Norway.