From: jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu (Mike Jittlov)
 Newsgroups: alt.fan.mike-jittlov,alt.comics.superman,rec.arts.comics.misc
 Subject: WIZARD delivers SUPERMAN's Eulogy
 Summary: Wizard at Superman's Last Rites
 Date: 23 Nov 1992 10:59:15 GMT


 Date:  5pm, Sunday, November 22, 1992.
 Place:  The Griffith Park Observatory, Los Angeles, California
 Reason:  the Memorial Service for Superman

 Ron Roark, publisher of The Whimsey Times and local Impressario
 of the Unreal, today organized a gathering at one of Los Angeles'
 most prominent landmarks.  Concerned friends and fans of the late
 Man of Steel were invited to attend - hopefully in a costume of
 some sort, and prepared to deliver eulogies.

 What the hey...why not.  The Wizard of Speed and Time emerged from
 cold storage, zoomed to the Hollywood hilltop, and solemnly strode
 in his sparkling green and gold-starred splendor right over to the
 gathering - estimated to be somewhere between 20 and 2,000 strong.

 I was immediately recognized. - "Are you Captain Kryptonite, or
 something?" - Sigh.  How quickly they forget.  Fortunately, several
 WIZARD fans called me by Name, thus averting a difficult situation
 (ie - my usual rant about why our feature blazed and vanished like
 a filmic nova, due to my evil business partner, blatheretcetera).

 Several people were dressed in basic black.  Most wore primary blue
 and red.  Two had Superman shirts - Pat from Starlog Magazine, and
 Sherlock Holmes expert Sean Wright (who says his "S" emblem was the
 last of the four from George Reeves' costume).

 Three news-vans also arrived, their CBS, ABC, and local KCAL logos
 still faintly visible through the LA Riots camouflage paint-job.
 All crews assembled their video gear, and jockeyed for a good view
 over the growing crowd.  This was becoming a Major Media Event!

 Batman and Robin were introduced, to a smattering of applause.
 Batman (SPFX designer David Mansley) gave a stirring eulogy, in
 the finest tradition of Adam West.  And it was received, in kind.

 Then Ron introduced me.  Polite applause, then gasps of wonder, and
 a wave of AWE - as my unexpectedly bold oratorio BOOMED over the
 assembled mini-multitude:
                              ______
                             /******\
                            /********\
                           /***       \
                           \**********/
                            \********/
                             \    **/
                              \****/
                               \**/
                                \/

                 TEXT of WIZARD's EULOGY to SUPERMAN
                (with emphasis and thoughtful pauses)

         "We are gathered here...upon the site...of Jor-El's
          laboratory...seen in the _original_ Superman TV
          show...to pay homage...

          SUPERMAN...was _more_...than just a WORLD-saver!

          SUPERMAN...was _more_...than a close personal
          friend with a better tailor!

          SUPERMAN...was a super-hero's...SUPER HERO!

          No one else...can _ever_...wear His cape.

          He will LIVE...in our hearts!
          He will LIVE...in our DREAMS!!

          For as long as there is _Justice_ to be won,
          And a _star_ shining in the _sky_,
          And _Editors_ at DC Comics,
          SUPERMAN...will _never_ die!!"

 The crowd's reaction was most appropriate and deserved, and many
 people, some of them women, offered me their business cards.

 While the organizers retired to the Onyx Cafe for a cup of local
 brew, I sped home to Wizard Central, to dutifully tape the news
 reports for the Jittlov Archives and/or Landfill.  Unfortunately,
 the networks thought that the barrage of tornadoes from Texas to
 Mississippi, the bombings in Sarajevo, famines in Ethiopia, the
 drive-by shootings from LA Yellow Cabs, rock star Alice Cooper
 saving a fan's home from foreclosure, and the memorials for JFK's
 death, all these were somehow more important than our Gathering
 on the Mount.  Oh well.

 _________________________________________ ___._` *.'_._ ________
  Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc        *   . +  * .  ^  .* `.`. +.
   Hollywood, CA 90026-2714        '   *  . ' '  /V\   `. * .  *
 jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu   (: May All Your  |_|  Good Dreams
   <& alt.fan.mike-jittlov>     and Fine Wishes / + \ Come True:)
 ============================================== || ===========
                                                |rip|
 By the way:
                  -+( THE WIZARD PREDICTS )+-

 I know I'm really going out on a limb here - but I predict that
 Superman WILL be RESURRECTED, and at the most appropriate date
 of peak synchronicity and profitability...probably on Flag Day.