Quantum tools for quantum
mechanics / cyberpunks rewired / wetware debugged / RNA reprogrammed / DNA reconditioned /
temporal paradoxes recalibrated / gravity wells emptied / black holes filled / tardis
detailing available upon request / tesseracts folded / chrono-synclastic infundibulums
deconstructed / ringworlds rotated and balanced / magnetic poles degaussed / parallel
dimensions parked / shadowships groomed / guaranteed interdimensional trans-spatial rift
repair / bussard collections appraised / singularities multiplied / vulcan massage /
klingon khiropracty / romulan acupuncture / ferengi feng-shu / andorian aroma-theraphy /
rigelian reiki / hobbit reflexology / androids outed / cyborgs to order / telepaths
trained / jihads mediated / peace processed / despots dethroned / bums rushed / dilemmas
dehorned / worms recanned / mutant X-factors tripled / adamantium bio-grafting by special
order / Y2K timeshares to order / computers exorcised / vampires staked / werewolves
stalked / monsters pacified / demons banished / tomes translated / plots thickened /
editors edified / slushpiles drained / legends launched / tales told /songs sung / hearts
mended / souls recovered / spirits set free . . .
REVIEW EXCERPTS (What Others have
been tricked into saying): ...one of the best...highly
impressive...recommended...damn good reading...well thought out...a good
storyteller...worth reading...can't stop until the last page...rarely lets
the pace drop below a brisk galop...frenetic...fun...a roller-coaster of a
ride...a remarkable combination of fantasy and
science fiction...Do read this one!...wacky hilarity...even more
outrageous, and more fun, than the first...fulfills all
reader’s demands... a great cadence of humor...excellent...this
is the book just for you...a fun read...one of the most exciting
new sf/f novelists to appear in years...just as insanely
absurd and utterly compelling as the first two...knows his
subject matter...one of the
genre's sharpest new writers...classic
idea-driven SF...flat-out superb...a solid,
satisfying and full-contact of a read...hits all the right marks...a gem
of a collection...lively, fun, and in the best
sense, entertaining...don't miss this one...explosively funny...a nonstop
romp through a complex and captivating world...highly
recommended...inventive, well thought-out...unique and exciting...full of
irreverent wit...what more do you want?...energetic...rarely lets the pace drop below a brisk gallop...ingenious...plot unfolds like an origami sculpture designed by M.C.
Escher...definite air of the mischievous runs through much of the logic,
supernatural and otherwise...sheer variety...never lets the humor get out
of control...complex characters...startling insight and compassion...a
memorable, unusual protagonist...one of the best novels...a thoroughly
amusing and interesting new slant...You've got to read this, it is a
hoot...relentlessly combines
thought and action...a fun book...a new and even greater (and funnier) adventure...snappy
dialogue, lots of amusing details, a clever plot, and a generally witty
sense of humor...one of those rare novels that combine levity and the
supernatural in just the right balance...lighthearted...offbeat
but humorous...this book is fun...works because it is simply over the
top...I love the way Mr. Simmons plays with the standard action scenes...solid
action at its best...something different...whimsical, fast-paced story...a
recommended pick...a plot out of the ordinary...event-packed
romp through a vivid world....
Simmons: 
