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Persuasion Devices Editor Dolls





SF Writers Voodoo-Based
REJECTION AVOIDANCE KIT

Designer: Astrid Julian**


KIT CONTENTS:YOU PROVIDE:
 1 - noose1 - hungry dog or cat
 1 - candle1 - magnifying glass
 2 - matches1 - freezer
 1 - dull razor blade1 - jar of honey
 3 - pins1 - anthill
10 - editor dolls & container1 - computer
1 - jar spaghetti sauce



PERSUASION TECHNIQUES
Remove doll representing the market you wish to sell to from the editor doll container. Employ one of the following persuasion techniques. Be sure to keep magnifying glass handy to make frequent examinations of doll face checking for signs of acceptance.

  1. Stick needle 'A' through doll middle. Light candle 'BB'. Hold doll over flame until clothing is slightly singed. Repeat as necessary.

  2. Dip doll frequently in any molten candle wax left over from persuading doll in Method #1.

  3. Pour dried kibble into pet food dish. Add doll representing market chosen. Mix well. Call hungry dog or cat into kitchen.

  4. Stick favorite body parts of selected doll with pins 'B' and 'C'. (Not recommended for writers trying to sell to a same sex editor.)

  5. Quick and Easy Method. Remove dull razor blade from protective covering. Apply delicately to neck of chosen doll.

  6. Select doll. Immerse in pot of boiling spaghetti sauce. Serve to hungry relatives, perferably difficult teenagers with braces or mothers-in-law with complicated bridge work.

  7. Dip selected doll in cold water. Place in freezer.

  8. Place noose around neck of doll. Tighten. Suspend from top of computer monitor so doll hangs in front of screen. Note: radiation heightens persuasion effect.

  9. Dip doll in honey. Place in ant hill.

  10. For hopelessly outdated manuscripts, place editor doll of your chosen market into a time warp. Open the system unit of your computer. Find the math coprocessor socket. Insert legs of doll into pin holes marked '3' & '4'. Reset jumper J12 to bridge pins '5' and '6'. Change your system AUTOEXEC.BAT file to read, "SET WARP C: settime 1952.pulp /d;append /e".

  11. Sure Fire Method. Write a better story.


Coming Soon:
Rejection Avoidance Kit - Deluxe Edition
Includes Managing Editor and Copy Editor Dolls

**NOTE: Designer will refuse acceptance of all unsolicited deliveries of mutilated writer dolls. Any such deliveries will be returned at editor's expense.





 Copyright © 1992 by Astrid Julian
All Rights Reserved
Not to be copied or reposted without permission.





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