Movie quick shot reviews


Kiss me, you fool.				Barry & Regina's movie quick shot reviews Copyright © 2003 by Barry B. Longyear				Barry & Regina's Movies Old Favorites Book & Movie Emporium Enemy Mine the Movie E-Mail Us

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		11/30/2008 AUSTRALIA Regina and I want to see this one again. There are so many good things about this production it's difficult to know where to begin. Great everything. Particularly I have to single out actor Brandon Walters, a rookie who plays the mixed-breed child who narrates the story (picture on right). There is a touch of aboriginal mysticism in the plot, and every time this kid is on screen it is magic. Top marks for cast, acting, story, script, direction, message, cinematography, and location. It's a bladder buster at almost three hours, but I put my knees together and hoped it would never end. Regina and I were so caught up by this production we went home, quickly ate, then put Quigley Down Under in the VCR and got another Australia fix. A must see, say we all.
		11/27/2008 Thanksgiving at a friend's and after disposing of the bird we repaired to the living room and watched two DVDs rented for the occasion: CLEANER On DVD. Former cop (Samuel L. Jackson) is now a cleaner of crime scenes. Someone has to scrape the brains and blood off the walls, and that's his current job. One scene, however, leads him to suspect foul play which leads bit-by-bit into a world of corruption and murder. Great cast, which also includes Ed Harris who plays Jackson's former partner, and Eva Mendes who seems to be missing her husband. Very tight crime mystery drama, good direction, and an almost terrific script. Regina and I both loved the movie and felt very let down at the ending. MEET DAVE On DVD. An alien spaceship that looks suspiciously like a full-size Eddy Murphy lands on Earth to steal our water. The aliens themselves are about 4 cm tall and operate the big Murphy as it searches for the orb that sucks up the water. I enjoyed this comedy which had about as many SF scientific plot holes as Galaxy Quest, and was almost as funny. I give it three yuks. Regina, however, got caught by the SF wonder bug and wanted to know more about the aliens. Lesson: You want laughs, go for it; you want deeper meaning, rent a relaxation video. 11/15/2008 QUANTUM OF SOLACE I like Daniel Craig as James Bond. He doesn't smirk. I hate smirkers, so I was never a fan of the 007 movies, particularly with Sean Connery or Roger Moore who both played Bond with an impacted smirk. That aside, Quantum has lots of action, cool special effects, good body count, an incredible foot chase, and a story that actually resolves at the end. Enough came at me so quickly that I lost track of what was going on a couple of times, and I wouldn't object to another viewing to clear up the confusion. Regina gives it four bullets. Highly recommended. A note on Appaloosa. After Quantum's closing credits were running, friends of ours went from there to see Appaloosa. They liked it. And that, folks, is why there is more than one book in a library. 11/8/2008 APPALOOSA (See Note above) For Robert B. Parker's Spenser fans, take Spenser, make him a lawman in an unruly town out west, his deputy is Hawk, and the story is told generally from Hawk's point-of-view. In this case Susan Silverman is not smart, loyal, or even in love. However, the relationship is every bit as sick and pointless as the love relationship in most of the Spenser novels. Just as with the Spenser novels, when the lawman and his deputy are in there busting up the bad guys, it's great. Whenever the girl gets into the scene, everybody starts huffing stupid gas. The movie was very faithful to Parker's novel, Appaloosa. . . . Unfortunately. When Regina and I got home, we ate Chinese and watched 1943's Destination Tokyo. Funny. When they're in there busting up the enemy, it's great. Whenever girls get into the scene . . . The house special rice noodle was terrific.. 11/02/2008 MONGOL Saw this one on DVD, Regina had to leave in the middle (she loved the child actors in this one). There is so much good about this film----the settings, the cinematography, costumes, casting, acting, directing, dialog, the reek of authenticity----one is left rather stunned at where it ended. Genghis Kahn, the early years: Pain, humiliation, struggle, sacrifice. Then, when he finally unites the tribes of Mongolia and is ready to conquer the world . . . the end. It's like watching the first three episodes of Shaka Zulu. WAR, INC. When you're watching a comedy on fast forward waiting for a place where it stops being stupid and starts being funny, you know you've wasted your money. In fact, we got this one from the rental store as a frequent customer freebie and we wanted our money back. I got taken in by a cover blurb that claimed Cusack was reprising his role as the hitman in Grosse Point Blank (1997), a really funny, really clever comedy. No such luck. When you swing with a slapstick and miss, what have you got? WAR, Inc. Cusack even got a writing credit for this disaster. Jeez, John, maybe you should give your stuff a read before sending it in. THE MARTAIN CHILD As bad as WAR, Inc. was is how good this touching John Cusack movie is. As Regina and I were lurching away from WAR, Inc., we looked to see what was on the old flat screen. We missed the beginning of this tale of a science fiction writer attempting to resolve the issues involved in adopting a child who believes he (the child) is from Mars. Bobby Coleman, who played the kid, was so believable I wanted to adopt him myself. John Cusack was so believable as the recently widowed writer, I could almost forgive him for BORE, Inc. Get The Martian Child and watch it. Bring two hankies. From the David Gerrold novel. 10/5/2008 AN AMERICAN CAROL Regina says this movie brought her to tears a couple of times, which is not good for a comedy. There are a lot of pieces of this movie that were great . . . but not all for the same film. For example, the scene with George Washington in St. Paul's Church took Regina's breath away. Very touching, very serious, and it belonged in another movie. This film should get a A for courage and intent. Yanking the beard of nutball jihadi terrorists as well as kicking the academic America haters and their legions of know-nothing automatons in the balls takes more guts and reality awareness than current Hollywood producers can seem to muster these days. There are a bunch of gags in this flick worth seeing plus multiple thrilling takes of the Michael Moore look alike getting slapped upside his fat head (Ahhh, wish fulfillment). The problem we both had with this movie, however, were with the frequent mini sermons interjected emphasizing the same points being made comically giving the entire thing an uneven, amateurish feel. Just as you're having fun laughing, the fun has to stop while everything gets serious. Stop and go traffic jam driving doesn't work for me either. 9/21/2008 THE WOMEN Regina saw this remake of the 1939 Norma Shearer/Joan Crawford classic without me. She was disappointed (in the film, not necessarily in me not being there). Sayeth she: "Dumb script, thin acting, inept directing, and a really stupid ending. See the original." Not a lot of meat to the review, but plenty of spice. ACROSS THE PACIFIC We saw this great 1942 Bogart/Astor flick again. Still love it. See the Old Favorites review. Reasons haven't changed. 9/7/2008 BABYLON A.D. When the credits began rolling at the end of this thing, I heard the mysterious Regina muttering, "That's it? That's it?" Then I distinctly heard her issue two rather loud and sloppy raspberries. I can't imagine why. To her it seemed like Vin Diesel ran out of gas. Actually everybody ran out of script. The acting wasn't really bad. Some good special effects and action sequences . . . and a script that gives one the impression that writer-director Mathieu Kassovitz's computer ran into a maze of cut-and-paste errors while he tapped out this thing, and when he still had another thirty pages to go, he got the Blue Screen of Death! For this I gave up watching Tropic Thunder. I can hardly wait for the It Came From Schenectady Film Festival next weekend. Forbidden Planet, Blade Runner, (I'll skip Enemy Mine), A Boy and his Dog---it will be a purifying experience. The Viewers Choice was leaning rather heavily in favor of The Day The Earth Stood Still, but it was announced that this is a no go. The Michael Rennie & Gort classic has been withdrawn by the studio in preparation for a remake. . . . With Keanu Reeves(?). I don't know if he is playing Klaatu or Gort. I'm not sure it makes a difference. I think I'll put Casablanca in the machine. Bye. 9/5/2008 UNBREAKABLE Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Regina and I originally saw this on the big screen when it was released in 2000. Interesting premise, great acting, and a twist at the end that is unsatisfying but horrible enough to justify it. If you missed it before, give it a try. If you are into comic books, buy the DVD. Of Shyamalan's other efforts, we loved The Sixth Sense and thought The Village was just about the stupidist movie we've seen since Plan 9 From Outer Space. 9/1/2008 THE TRANSFORMERS Saw this on TV. For once the special effects did cast in a shadow a tired theme (put down your pimple cream, son. The fate of the world depends on you.) Very exciting. Would love to see a documentary on this film's animation. Regina liked it, too. Musthave been a mind mulcher on the big screen. BRAM STOKER'S THE MUMMY On TV. About twenty-five minutes into this thing, I asked the mysterious Regina, "Do we give a crap what happens next?" Her answer was, "I don't." Just goes to show you how far bad directing, lame acting, juvenile scriptwriting, and cheap production values can get you: I mean, it did get twenty-five minutes of our lives we'll never get back. 8/28/2008 VANTAGE POINT Dennis Quaid, Forest Whitaker, William Hurt. Regina likes it. Exciting, thrilling, lots of surprises. For me, I kept waiting for the gimmick of running the same set of circumstances over and over again from different points-of-view to be justified. All gimmick, exciting car chase, not much point. I'd kind of like to know who the bad guys were (what organization), and what they expected to do once they had a bird in the hand rather than a Bush. Great acting. Could have used a better script. Okay, it was better than having to watch Journey To The Center Of The Earth again. Things blow up, lots of cars crashed, big body count; What's not to love? 8/21/2008 THE DARK KNIGHT It was certainly dark. For me it left evil and edged into sickness. Much to like about it (love that Batman), but Regina and I both found it too long and and felt cheated by the ending. THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE So did we. Too bad. It was good seeing the duo once again, but the scriptwriters ran out of ideas before they got to this script. Ho hum. THE IRON MAN Regina and I actually went to see this one again, we enjoyed it so much. The villain (that nasty old military-industrial complex) was a big cookie-cutter, but the effects, gags, story, and dialog sizzled. KUNG FU PANDA Regina and I both will watch this every time it appears on TV, in the theater, and we have a spot reserved on our DVD shelf. Fun, touching, hilarious, artistically beautiful, incredible animation, good message, and did I mention FUNNY? INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL Harrison Ford and I are around the same age, so seeing this action movie was kind of a physical fantasy. I must have eaten half a bottle of ibuprofen. We had fun watching this, mainly because we got the 'Fifties references (Hey, daddy-o). Okay story. Regina saw it three times. She insists she loved it. THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR Long on promise, criminally short on delivery. I can't believe they let this schlobble out of the House of the Dead. Dumb, boring, and Brendan Fraser exhanged the old wife for one comically impaired. Wrap this one up, put it back in the tomb, seal it, and how about an effective curse this time for the joker who next breaks the seal. I'm thinking frogs, hives, snakes, and having to listen to the sound track of Mamma Mia for eternity. Lots of frogs. JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH Brendan Fraser needs to fire his agent or open a turky farm. Director Eric Brevig needs to sue writers Jennifer Flackett and Mark Levin. Producer Charlotte Huggins needs to call someone to take care of Eric Brevig then she needs to stop smoking that stuff herself. Save your money and donate it instead to the Jules Verne rehabilitation fund. MAMMA MIA! Regina loved it. All I could think of was: and for this I gave up watching the next Hellboy? To hear Pierce Brosnan singing? Caramba. ---FADE TO BLACK---
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