(items in parentheses are unspoken but implied)
10. "So what's your real job?"
9. "I'm a writer, too! I just wrote a letter to my aunt May-Bell the other day."
8. "So have you had anything (worth reading) published?"
7. "Hey, I'd love an autographed (free) copy of your book!"
6. "You should talk to my (mind-numbingly dull) uncle Billy-Bob. He's got a million (equally dull) stories to tell. Maybe you could write some of 'em down."
5. "Can you help me get published/get an agent?"
4. "Must be fun to stay home and goof off all day, huh?"
3. "How much did you pay to get your book published?"
2. "Yeah, I might sit down and write me one a them novels if I can make a little time for it one of these days."
And the number one most annoying thing to say to a writer:
1. "I've got this (allegedly) FANTASTIC idea for a book. How about I tell it to you, and you write the book, and we split the money?!"
Copyright 1996 by Dan Perez. All rights reserved.