...what you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful... Goo Goo Dolls, "Slide"

Is anyone besides me stunned that it's actually 1999? And is anyone else suffering the same time dilation that I'm experiencing? Time seems to be skidding by at an alarming rate, yet I can sometimes look and see that only a day or a week has passed since such-and-such happened that I was sure happened over a month ago. Like the fishing. It feels like it's been at least a week since I went fishing, but when I went to write this entry (note: I use the template of the previous day's entry and just change the dates) I saw that it had only been two days since I'd been fishing. And I'm feeling the time-stretching in other places too. I'll sit here and think, "Wow, it's been weeks and weeks since I've seen so-and-so" and then abruptly realize that it's been one week at the most.

But, on the other hand, it is almost February, and I certainly don't feel like I've done anything in all of January... Maybe that's my problem; I keep looking for accomplishments to ground me in this "timeline."

Accomplishments for January? (I know, the month isn't over yet, but at this rate it will be in a few hours.) Well, I'm still in Hold Pile Hell for the SFF.net anthology. Akkk. Now, first off, I have to say that I honestly do not believe that this story is actually going to sell. Yet, it's nice to know that it's at least warranting a second look... Yet, sitting on pins and needles for several weeks, while knowing that there's every chance in the world that it's not going to make the cut, is certainly not fun. Would I have been happier not having heard anything and just wondering about its fate? Nah, probably not. But I do find myself beginning to obsessively scan the response times newsgroup, looking for reports of sales to this anthology. And every time I see a sale it's a feeling of Eep! Another slot filled!

I've seen a couple of people who've already sent second stories in after receiving their first rejections. I was worrying for a while that my eventual rejection would come too late in the month to have a chance to try a second story, but it's turning out that I won't really have a second suitable story ready to send in by the end of the month anyway, so I guess that's a groundless concern now. I have been working on a story (yes, the one I was supposed to have finished by the 20th) but it's going more slowly than I'd planned, so now I'm hoping to have it done by next week. (And of course "done" means the first draft complete. It would still have to go through the critique/rewrite/recritique/rerewrite process.) Overall though I'm pleased with the way the story is taking shape. I think it's one that will be worth taking my time with.

Ummm... other accomplishments? I'm nearing the two strength goals I have in my workouts. Being sick set me back a bit, but I still think I'll be able to get there by the end of the month. I haven't really lost any more weight, but I've been ultra-lazy about doing any sort of cardio lately. On that note, however, I'm deeply considering starting to train for the Crescent City Classic, a 10K race that's held in New Orleans every spring. I ran it once before, about five years ago, and there's really not damn much that can equal the feeling of accomplishment that comes from finishing a 10K. (I ran the entire way too; didn't stop to walk once! Okay, so it was a really slow run, but still...) Thing is, though, I don't really want to run it by myself, so I think I'm going to try and talk the cop dudes into doing it with me. They're the only people I know around here who do any sort of running.

Sheesh, they're the only people I know around here, period. (Other than parents.) Oooh... self-pity moment about my general dearth of friends here. wallow wallow wallow Okay, I'm generally a pretty solitary person, and I need and crave time to myself, but damn I get seriously lonely sometimes. I really would like to have someone (or a few someones) whom I could call up to just chat with, or just go hang out with...

Ah well, enough wallowing. My funky schedule precludes normal socializing, and I'm not the type to push myself into a social circle, or even onto someone else's friend. I'd mentioned (read: whined) to my mother about feeling lonely, and she'd suggested calling up a friend of theirs who's closer to my age and asking her out to lunch. And I got this feeling of "Eep! No!" This woman is very nice, but I don't really know her, and she's more their friend, and I have zilcho in common with her, and good grief but I'd feel awkward...

Yes, one of the perils of living in a small town. Fewer people in the peer group, and fewer opportunities/places to meet them.

Really, enough whining now.

Those loyal readers (and not so loyal readers) who are thinking of applying to Clarion this year should think about getting their application/stories together soon. The deadline is April 1, but you get a discount if they receive your application packet by March 1. If you have any burning questions, or want some advice, feel free to drop me a line.