I haven't been as good about posting frequently as I used to be. Part of it is because my life has settled into this routine of sameness, so that it doesn't feel like I have much to say. I haven't been getting much writing done--at least not as much as I'd like. No excuse, really. I have the time. I think I feel like I'm still trying to get settled.

I dunno. I was supposed to have a story finished by the 20th, but that didn't happen. Then by the 27th... well, that didn't happen either. Okay now, I have made progress on this story. Surely I can finish it up in the next two days. I did get sidestracked a bit working on some rewrites so I could have a second story to send to the sff.net antho. Of course it did get bounced, but I went and sent it back out yesterday. I'm beginning to run out of markets for this story though. I like the story, and have been told it's good, but there are a limited number of pro markets for fantasy. I have two more tries after the market that it's at now, and then I think I'm going to have to trunk it.

No, I'm not going to try the semi-pros if it gets bounced by all the pros. I'm shooting for pro markets, and if I sold it to a semi-pro I think it would feel like a hollow victory. I had someone ask me on the Wednesday night Delphi chat the other night where he could read my work. "Nowhere," I had to reply, "I am quite unpublished." "Not even a fanzine??" he asked. "Nope, not even a fanzine."

Do I see being completely-unpublished-not-even-a-fanzine as failure? In a way, well... yes. I'd dearly love to sell my work. But I don't want to "sell" to a fanzine. Whoopeedoo. If I'm ever going to sell, I sure as hell want the feeling of accomplishment that goes with it.

Of course, on that note, I realized the other day that it is perfectly possible that I will never sell a story or novel. Let's face it, there's tons of competition out there, and getting published is not just about skill as a writer. It's also about luck, timing, and the mood of the editor. It's about what kind of stories the editor is looking for at that particular moment to fit with other stories that he or she has bought.

So, that was my cheery thought for the day. Actually I had two cheery thoughts for the day. The second is the other realization I had this week. I realized that what I, or anyone, deserves (i.e. love, happiness, friends, publications, security and all that rot) and what I, or anyone, will actually get are two completely separate entities. One has absolutely no bearing on the other.

If you haven't gone there already, be sure to go read Chiara's account of her travels through India. Fascinating!