The team had a Christmas-type get-together (okay, a party) last night at the house of one of my teammates. I brought cookies, since that really is the only thing I am capable of cooking without completely fucking it up. We usually have team get-togethers every couple of months or so, with the majority of them being Team Only, a few of them being Team and Spouse/Significant Other, and about once a year we'll do a Team and Family including Kids. This one was of the Team and Spouse/SO variety. I admit it, I much prefer the Team only parties, because I always feel so damn awkward and out of place among the Wives.I tend to get caught in this odd middle ground wherein I feel like I'm expected to Make Nice with the wives and do the little girl chat shit with them, since after all I AM still a Girl. And I can usually hold my own in Girl Talk for about twenty minutes or so, but about the time they all start talking about their pregnancy experiences, their epidural experiences, their stretch marks, (I swear to God I am not making this shit up--that is exactly how the conversation progressed over the course of the night) I have to bail, seeing as how this womb of mine has never (nor, probably, will ever) seen that kind of action. And somewhere in there I will let loose with some sort of profanity and the Wives will give me horrified looks and say, "Diana, you are so RAW! [giggle]" despite the fact that their husbands standing two feet away are saying exactly the same profanities without receiving a single bat of a well-masacared eyelash.

(And I have learned not to tell people that I'm not going to be having children, because it never fails--they will respond with, "Oh, you don't know that!" Jesus Christ, people, I'm 35 years old, I've had one date in the past two years, and I don't think that the world is so underpopulated that it desperately needs my genetic contribution. But I have observed that it is anathema for a woman to declare that she will not fulfill her biological imperative and some people get downright offended by the mere thought of an intentionally childless woman. So even though I believe that I am certainly allowed to make such life-changing decisions regarding the course of my own destiny, I find it easier to not get into the same stupid argument with narrow-minded people. And it's not like I have anything against children; there was a time in my life when I wanted children very badly. It didn't happen. My life is different now.)

Okay, somewhat tangential rant over.

So I basically held my own with the Wives as long as I could but then fled back to the estrogen-free zone that was the rest of my team. But I was rather glad that I'd shown up somewhat late. I left shortly after midnight (and it's not like I bailed immediately; I stayed about four hours), rather tired of being the only single person there. My Sarge surprised me somewhat when he actually came up to me and made the observation that I must find this kind of party difficult. He doesn't usually strike me as being that perceptive of emotional currents. We talked for a bit, and I think he really did understand my mood. Don't get me wrong, the party was enjoyable and I'm glad I went, but after four hours of it I was ready to go. In retrospect I think my mood was also dimmed when it came out that Mike (the Corporal) will probably be getting the next Seargent spot opening up--in the other district. I'm happy for Mike and I sincerely hope he gets it--I know he'll make one hellua Sarge. But I consider Mike to be a friend, and a transfer to the other district will mean I will probably rarely see him around for a while.

Well, I've made it halfway through the Holidailes challenge without missing an entry yet. I don't think I'll continue making the every-day entries after the month is over, but I do want to try and do relatively frequent updates. I've been a bit surprised that I've actually had stuff to say--mostly work-related, but that's actually the stuff that I like going back and reading about further down the road. About once a year or so I'll skim back through old entries, and I'll run across things that I'd forgotten about.

I have another party to go to tonight, this one over in Mississippi. This one should be very interesting. I'm going with my ex-husband. I'm going simply for the entertainment value. I expect that people will be going up to my ex all night and saying, sotto voce,"Isn't that your ex?" Most of the people there have not seen me since I lost all the weight. And I'm sure they would never expect me to be there with Jay. It should be fun, or at the very least, entertaining.