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Conversations From
the Back Seat

Conversations from the backseat...
Do you know what your kids are talking about? Er...do you know what MY kids are talking about?

• My children have developed an odd tendency to wander through the house singing, "I Feel Pretty." I refuse to comment further.

• Husband - Stick men bleed.

• Phone rings. Elder son, calling from North Carolina.
• Hey, mom, what's the name of the shapeshifter from Deep Space Nine?
• Odo.
• Oh,right, thanks.
• Hangs up. So now I must wonder - am I a geek?

• Son hands daughter camera.
• Take my picture!
• Pulls sweatshirt up to cover his head completely, begins pumping his fist in the air, and shouts, "Bam! Bam! Bam!" over and over.
• (Apparently the sound effects make a difference.)

(proof - as you can see, this truly was in the Backseat!)

Okay, cheating here, not just the kids, but too good not to put up.

• husband, returning from an apparently enjoyable shopping spree at Bed, Bath & Beyond - I should be a woman, I'm good at shopping.
• daughter - Daaaaad!
• me - Did you get my new pillows?
• husband - Yep. How do you use them up so fast? You don't hug me that much.
• me - You're not as squishy.
• me, to daughter - but maybe now that he's a woman, he might be squishier.
• daughter - Mooooom!

• Nothing overheard in particular, but since receiving the PC game Zoo Tycoon for Christmas, I've noticed a disturbing tendency to put the guests in the lion pen to see what happens. Of course, it was my idea to begin with...

• daughter, upside down on couch with head hanging over - Oh, my brain just rushed to my head!

• Son, singing - "Super Eyyyyeball! Super eyeball! It can pick up any-thing..."

• son says, mumbling - I don't feel real good.
• daughter hears - I'm really a girl.

• Waffle of death, you're going down!

• Sam Adams.
• What's that?
• I think it's a beer. (pause) No, he was a president or something. Diet coke instead.
• Whatever. And chocolate cake.
• And cheeseburgers.

• Who's your strongest dude? Mine's the mooglie.

• Laser thumb.
• A laser for your thumb?
• No. A thumb that's a laser.

• muttering - Must talk to the koala...must talk to the koala...
• later - Why does nobody want an ostrich? Someone, somewhere...must...need...an...ostrich...
• still later - Not real cheese, game cheese!

• in a booming voice - NO - ONE - IS - PREPARED - FOR - impressive pause - THE HUMUNGOUS FUNGUS TOE!!!

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Last updated 10-16-06

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