Hilary Moon Murphy

First Steps

She's walking! She's walking!

Okay, maybe I should rephrase that.

She's waddling like a bowlegged drunken sailor! She's waddling like a bowlegged drunken sailor!

Cassie took her first unassisted steps yesterday to receive a much-loved present (a squeaky elephant toy) from her Daddy. I guess she must have been waiting for her birthday to take those first few steps.

One of my friends wondered why all parents are amazed at these milestones. Kids learn to walk and talk everyday. What's the big deal, anyway?

Yes, children learn to walk and talk everyday. It is a miracle every single time. A year ago, Cassie was so tiny and helpless that she could not hold the weight of her own head up. With her first steps, she has crossed an invisible line from infancy into toddlerhood. Walking will open new vistas for her.

Yeah, she'll be awkward. Yeah, she'll fall on her face (and butt, and knees, and elbows...) but that's the price of independence and growth. We could all learn a lesson from that.

Speaking of falling on one's face, that's precisely what I did in my first steps as a Web Rat. When I proposed the January Web Rat Dare, I suggested that it would allow us to become a "constructive mutual nagging society". This phrasing was intended to be humorous. Unfortunately, this phrasing also offended some people, and I now apologize for this.

One web journalist sent me an e-mail which said, "I did not join Web Rats to be nagged." I felt terrible when I received this. I had proposed the Dare as a community building exercise, and ironically undermined one person's sense of comfort in the Web Rat community. Big oops.

Then Our Big Cheese sent me a very nice, very polite note reminding me that many writers do not write well when nagged, and that I should play nice. She also told me that the purpose of Web Rats was mutual journal promotion, not dares. If people wanted to join a dare, that's great. But no one should be pressured to join against their will.

Fair enough.

Since somewhere along the line I failed to express myself clearly, here is the official disclaimer:

The January Web Rat Dare is completely optional. This dare is not an official function of the Web Rats, and was proposed without prior authorization from the Big Cheese. The goals of the dare are whatever the participants want them to be. It is nicknamed the "Web Rat Dare" because all the participants are Web Rats.

Since the word "nagging" has some perjorative connotations, let me clarify what I mean when I use it. By nagging, I mean gentle encouragement. Things like, "Keep going on those revisions, Trey!" or "Wow, Rob is making great progress!"

I do not mean stuff like: "What a dweeb you are. Only 200 words in the last three days? What are you doing in this dare, you bozo? I wrote 15.3 novels in the last half hour. Neener neener neener."

Whew! Thanks for giving me this chance to clarify matters.

Otherwise, the Name-Your-Own-Dare is going pretty well. Samantha Ling has just joined the Dare, and Anne has already put up a very nice splinter page for her Dare Journal. As for me, I will record the Dare in my regular journal, but head the Dare entries with a table that looks like this:

January Web Rat Dare Goal: 700 Words/Day on Fire of Genius Words To Date: # Today's Words: # Other Dare Participants: Anne | Jennifer | Karina | Rob | Sam | Trey

Guess that's about it. Like Karina, I'm still plotting, trying to give myself a prepared roadmap before I begin the Dare. Have a happy holiday season and good luck pursuing your personal goals, whether inside or outside dares!

Andy and I are going out to a grown-up dinner tonight -- without Cassie. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm wondering how many times I'll be running to the phone to check up on her. Ah, the joys of parenting...

Hmm