Jack Haldeman: My Science Fiction Sports Stories: an annotated list
Listing of My Sports Stories
Auto Racing
DIRT TRACK DEMON -- Be careful what you wish for when you're dealing with the Carburator Genie. Underneath that grease-stained jump suit beats a cynical heart. She's seen it all.
-- in Aladdin:Master of the Lamp (DAW, 1992) (Resnick & Greenberg, eds)
SOUTH OF EDEN, SOMEWHERE NEAR SALINAS -- The year is 1955 and noted automobile racer James Dean falls in love with a magazine reporter named Natalie Wood. Along with Sal Mineo, trusted friend and master mechanic, they push fast cars and life to the limit.
-- in By Any Other Fame (DAW, 1994) (Mike Resnick, ed)
Baseball
LOUISVILLE SLUGGER -- Earth loses the Big Game and the Awks prepare to snack on the humans.
HOME TEAM ADVANTAGE -- As the main course at the intergalactic banquet, the humans bring a last-minute surprise to the plate.
-- Asimov's SF, Fall 77
HELL BENT FOR LEATHER (as Jeremiah Phipps) -- It wasn't just any glove, it was the glove and they had to find it, find it at any cost. This is either a tale of trust and faith or one of total delusion. Take your pick.
-- in Grails: Quests of the Dawn (Roc,1994) (Gilliam, Kramer, Greenberg)
Basketball
ON THE REBOUND -- His dream was to play for the Knicks, but he was just too short. Did the mad professor hold the key? Or was this one experiment destined to go terribly wrong?
-- Amazing, Mar 83
Billiards
EIGHT BALL BLUES -- In a backwoods Florida bar a man from the future has to put up with free-ranging chickens on the pool table, weepy country songs on the jukebox, moonshine and cheap beer in an attempt to save the Earth.
-- Asimov's SF, Dec 80
Football
THE THRILL OF VICTORY -- An android quarterback digs deep into his cybernetic heart to find the will to win.
-- Asimov's SF, Jan/Feb 78
THE AGONY OF DEFEAT -- Over the hill and headed for the scrap heap, the obsolete android makes one last try for glory.
-- Asimov's SF, Mar/Apr 78
Jogging
LAST ROCKET FROM NEWARK -- Running several miles a day can prepare you for many things. Some of them may not be quite what you expect.
-- Amazing, Aug 78
Marbles
PLAYING FOR KEEPS -- The battleground for Earth is a suburban back yard and the combatants are a huge, powerful alien and a small boy with a large imagination.
-- Asimov's SF, May 82
Martial Arts
TRUE GRITS -- Seeking the One True Path, our hero studies at the Master's feet. Bubba, a Florida redneck, puts down his beer can long enough to teach his flock how to find inner peace by whonking people with a tire iron.
-- in Warriors of Blood and Dream (Avonova, 1995) (Roger Zelazny, ed)
Skiing
TO RACE THE WIND -- Hope in a ruined world.
-- Omni, Jan 79
Competitve Swimming
WET BEHIND THE EARS -- Swimmers will shave their bodies; do anything to get the slightest edge. But this last step might be too much.
-- Asimov's SF, Oct 82
Tennis
THIRTY LOVE -- An unexpected talent used in unexpected ways. There are times when you can win by losing.
-- Asimov's SF, Sept/Oct 78
Track and Field for Turtles
MORTIMER SNODGRASS TURTLE -- What does a turtle do best? Go slow, of course. But only a driven fool would try to be the slowest turtle in the world. Enter Mortimer, a turtle with a dream.
-- F&SF, June 78
Professional Wrestling
SHORT COUNT IN CHICAGO -- The Hyannis Kid takes on the Trickster in a World Wrestling Federation Steel Cage Match. Does Kennedy have a chance against Nixon's dirty tricks?
-- in Alternate Kennedys (Tor, 1992, Mike Resnick, ed)
Sports that Don't Exist Yet
LONGSHOT -- Behemoths are huge, lumbering beasts with no sense of direction. It follows that placing a wager on a Behemoth race would be a bit of a gamble. And winning might not always bring what you expect.
-- Asimov's Adventure Magazine, Spring 79
HEAR THE CRASH, HEAR THE ROAR -- A demolition derby of sorts in a warped future. For starters, there aren't any cars in this story.
-- Asimov's SF, Dec 79
A TALE OF TWO CITIES -- You thought that the Baltimore Colts moving out in the dead of night was bad? See what happens when a sports team is so established that it's easier to move the fans than the teams, even when it means moving them to another planet.
-- Asimov's SF, Sept 80
Illustration by Jack Gaughan for "Longshot"
Original artwork from author's collection
