Journal Entries for 2003 & 2004
JOURNAL ENTRIES FOR 2001
JOURNAL ENTRIES FOR 2000
December 19 November 27 November 12Still working on my novel, which is nealy 30,000 words in first draft. But what does that mean? Well, I have writtten the beginning scene that sets up who the main characters are. I have the scenes in which they all meet. I have several of the pivotal scenes written. I have yet perhaps two or three more major scenes, then the big explosion scene to write. And all of this in first draft. Which for me is sparse and odd, but I'll get to that later. So, with all of the above in mind, just what is the value of numbers in first draft? I certainly don't know. Let's just say posting or announcing numbers makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. You know, if this were one of those instant blog things, I'd keep up much better. Then again, I'd end up writing a lot of things I'd regret. Personal things do NOT belong on my journal page; no way, no how. Except... well, my cousin's daughter, who is sort of my niece (at least to me she is) had a baby! She and her husband are the proud parents of a lovely little girl who weighed in at 3 pounds 10 ounces, but is breathing on her own! My sad times are private, but this I must tell the world about! Congratulations, Shanna and Shane. After an extended break, here I am again. Various life events have kept me from so many things, but finally I feel the time is right to pick up this journal once again.
Scenes are the action of the novel, right? Given that definition, I'm writing my first draft in scenes. I'm writing the action. Not to say that I'm not slipping in characterization and dialogue (tons of dialogue), but I'm concentrating on moving the plot forward, or around. So I approach a new scene thinking something like, "Mona runs away, Jack sends Steve after her, then follows to meet up with them, and they end up meeting Mona's family." Movement is the key: in this scene they literally move about 200 miles, and they take the steps to making Mona a regular part of their group. This was accomplished in the scene. Also accomplished was the defining of Mona as Jack's true love and lifemate, Nick's fear (which turned out not to be the thing I thought it was, but fear of a different type), a confrontation with Art, and finding out some more about the "rules" of their lifestyle. Most of this was done in narrative and dialogue. Why? Because it's first draft and it's messy; first drafts are allowed to be messy.
As an aside, get yourself to your local library, find a copy of Feburary's Boys' Life magazine, and read Justin Stanchfield's story, "Looking for Charley". Really wonderfully written.
Back to the issue for which this journal was conceived (nice segue, eh?): writing. What issue is plaguing me lately? Well, the issue of world-building disease and it's near kin atmosphere-enhancing syndrome. I do not know who first coined the phrase world-building disease, but if you aren't familiar with it, it is when a fantasy (or science fiction or dark fantasy or whatever) writer gets so caught up in building the imaginary world for their characters to inhabit that they end up writing more/spending more time on world building than on plot and characters. They may have exhaustive lists of family trees, of foreign words and phrases, of styles of clothing; a case of drawings of maps; a catalog of flora and fauna; a ream of paper that is the history of their own little world. All because it makes the world come alive. The plot is still struggling along with a guy in a tavern drinking ale, but the world is well and good. Not that inventing the world is not important, but it's the out of control extent of that inventing that makes it the disease.
All right, that is world building-disease. What, then, is this atmosphere-enhancing syndrome? Ah, that now, is the same fish, different cooking vessel (I'm so good, I should be a writer). This is wherein said writer gets lost in researching things that will never make it into the text. How can you know? you ask. Well, for example, I once wrote a short story about a man in a mid-western city who became a vampire. Now it is not important what happened to him, especially as the story never saw print, but I knew what city I was imagining and at this point I could have looked at a map, figured out which neighborhood he was most likely to live in, what bus routes he was taking, where this and that would have happened, and on and on. None of which would have appeared in the story, but which could have put me more in the mood, basically enhancing my writing atmosphere or mindset.
Another example; I am a proponent of using the appropriate mood-setting music while writing, so that different works use different soundtracks, if you will. However, while working on a manuscript that involves characters in a band, I started to think (mostly while driving) about what songs would be in their playlist. I'd hear a song and try to find out the name and artist, eventually thinking I'd make a compilation CD to play while writing about this band. If this had stayed in the thinking about stages or limited itself to a thought while driving, fine. But then I started doing internet searches, playing samples of songs from webpages, checking CDs in stores and playing samples if possible. Going way overboard. In other words, this is the syndrome wherein a writer puts more effort into creating the proper mood in which to write a story than they put into writing the story.
Basically, the symptoms of these two afflictions differ, but the result is the same: the story does not get written. The reasons for succumbing to these maladies are as varied as plots. If after your first draft, you realize your research was inadequate, put sticky notes (or some equivalent) on the pages in the questionable areas and go find out what you need to. Notice I did say "if your research was inadequate". I'm not advocating going into a writing project without doing the proper research, just saying don't let yourself get so caught up that the research over shadows your story. My musicians need to have the proper equipment, but I don't need to know how to use a sound board. I do need to know whether or not they'd have one, and how much time they'd spend with it, but how to adjust it isn't something my POV character would do or spend time studying, so neither will I. If you write a story with a character who is a mountain climber, you don't have to climb a mountain or read every book on mountaineering. I would suggest you read a few and talk to someone who has done it. If you read a few first, then you will have questions in your mind that you can ask your new friend the mountaineer. That is just good research. However, adding a dozen books on mountains to your library may indicate you have a problem. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. First, stop. Just put down the book, the map, close the website. Then, to paraphrase Karen Taylor, put your backside in a chair and write. Just write.
And I'm trying.
Hello, my name is Lena and I have an affliction that affects many writers today. But I have hope.
I've been working on another novel. This makes my fourth. My first try at a novel was a sword and sorcery novel. I finished it, but it was a mess. A learning experience. Yeah, that sounds so much better. My second novel attempt was a mystery. I finished that one as well, but it was depressing and called boring by the few first readers I could snag. That third novel is yet unfinished, but is a vampire story. As that novel was never meant to see a reader, I'm not at all broken up over it not being completed. It's more like an exercise than a serious novel, though sometimes I wonder. This latest novel is also a dark fantasy, but it is werewolves. I won't call it horror because while there may be the occasional brutal scene, that isn't what it is about: this novel is about the characters who inhabit it. They live, they breathe, and yeah, they sometimes get furry, but it's their lives I'm concentrating on, not the reactions of humans to them.
Which brings me to a point. Can horror be said to be about the reaction to something rather than about the thing itself? Possibly. Horror, really scary stuff, for me, often has most to do with my anticipation of something coming. How scary can things be? Especially today, when we laugh at movie monsters that would have given heart attacks to our grandparents, the "it" just isn't what scares. It's the anticipation of the "it", the worrying about that encounter occurring, that keeps me on the edge of my seat. And I'm not talking about the cheap stuff, the guy in the mask jumping out at you when you are only expecting the cat. No, that's just a cheat. That's a slasher movie. That's over as soon as you punch the guy for doing such a jerky thing. Real horror makes you afraid to turn the light off at night, afraid to leave your feet on the floor at the side of the bed, because you anticipate something happening. At least I do. And even in my middle age, I'm still afraid of the dark.
Oh my. Can you believe how long it's been? Each day I'd think, "I'll update today," and then didn't. Not that I have much to say, but leaving the page hanging back in March is just so disconcerting. You may notice I'm not listing stats at the left any more. That's because I'm no longer part of a dare. In January there was a general WebRat dare which I did not participate in, but I did do my own sort of mini-dare. Then in February while the WebRats participated in the Masochist Dare, I participated in a Wimp Dare with Sam Ling (another WebRat). I said I do approximately 200 words a day for the month. About half way through that month I ran out of steam, but I still did more than 5600 words. Which isn't bad. But thank goodness that dare stuff is over. I'm just not made for dares. Something about them makes me want to rebel and just say "no". It's good to know what works for you and what doesn't. Hello again. What's new with me? Another rejection, a lot of words, and an accountability (not a DARE) with Sam Ling. (So we won't say the D word, ok?) I've done a little bit of changing with this page; moving things about, adding this, subtracting that, trying to get a look I like. Or trying to make the space where this journal goes a bit smaller. Or something. As you can see by the numbers to the left the new novel is moving along. There was a moment of anxiety when I became momentarily obsessed with where to end a chapter. I realized I was using that as an excuse to not write, but not until I had whined and pontificated on it for a bit. I hit a snag in Marilyn at Chapter Four. How so? Because, as you know, Bob, I had notes and a calendar and snippets of scene, so how did Four get to be so un-writeable? Well, Four was in fact not focused. Really. It read like I was just filling up space. "She picked the phone up, dialed a number and asked for the department she needed. When she gave her name and the store's name, she wasn't put on hold, but was immediately able to place her order. She flipped through the pages she had highligted with paperclips and sticky notes..." and on and on, blah, blah, blah. You know, everyone goes to the bathroom, but there is no sense in writing that down. Those details are useless to the story, as were the details I crammed into several pages that I discarded. It's been way too long between updates. I keep meaning to update, then I don't get around to it. This is a hard time of the year to get much accomplished that doesn't have to do with the holidays. I've decided to forgive myself for failing to write during the holidays. If I do manage to get something done, then I'm Super Me, but if not that's fine. It's not failure, it's just facing reality. Right now I'm not burning to start, keep going on, or finish anything. Yes, I do have some things I can work on, but none of them are hounding me. So I'm letting myself enjoy the holidays. I've given parts of the web site a new look. Some of this was inspired by Marti and some by Trey, and I was helped a bit by Monissa and by my son, Carleton. Navigation through areas of the website should be easier and the look a bit more professional. Or at least different. Some times a change is good. It's been a long time since I've updated this journal. I've been hibernating. I'm keeping up on some things, falling behind on others, and generally not unhappy, but not terribly productive. Hibernating, like I said. I've researched some disparate things this year. Like what? Well, like ancient Indians, ley-lines, fallen angels, how to fall out of a car if you really need to, asian belief systems, shapeshifter myths from around the world, medieval life, and quite a bit more. On a recent trip to the library I wandered a bit more as my husband checked out the books, then followed him outside where he thrust my stack of books at me. "I want to tell them at the check out counter," he said, "that these books are not for me, they're for my wife. And she's really not that weird, she's a writer." Where do we set the bar? How do we decide at what point we are making progress? Is it the numbers, as in today was great because I wrote 1500 new words? Or, today wasn't very good because I only wrote 300 new words? Or is it what's been accomplished, as in today I finished a short story, first draft? Or, today I revamped and added to a first draft story and it's now finished? Or how about just knowing where something is going and making the notes/outine of the scene or bits, as in today I figured out what's supposed to go in the murky middle of a short story? Or, today was very bad because I could not write that last scene because it just wasn't making any sense? If you count only the numbers, what about the days that turn out to be major edit/rewrite days? Are those days less productive somehow? And if you only count finishing something, what about those days that turn out to be big numbers, but no end, just more of the same? And some days you are writing stuff that turns out to be background information that will never be in the finished story, but that you needed to know. Are those wasted days? And what if you count only sales as the bar to whether or not you are successful at writing? Forget that. That would just be way too depressing. Got my rejection from "Glimmer Train" this week. Just a standard form rejection. Ah, well. I don't write much mainstream, but sometimes it comes to me so I write it. This was such a story. This week I got a rejection back from Angela Kessler at "Dreams of Decadence." Since the levels of rejection are oh so important, I have to say this was a very, very good one. There was even a personal five words and a signature at the bottom of my checklist. Translation: it got past first readers to the editor herself. Plus they were nice words. Now someone will tell me she doesn't use first readers and I'll lose that, but I still have the "nice things" checked on the list and the note. More update on my week-long retreat. The first weekend there I spent a lot of time not writing, but socializing. Mostly because Tim, a friend I hadn't seen in several years, was there and was leaving Sunday and I wanted to spend what little time he had there with him. We had a great time, too. Tim brought a card word-game which a bunch of us played and it was so much fun we probably kept the dorm up. In fact I know we did. But hey, we weren't in the quiet dorm, after all. After the card game we switched to Pictionary, which I had never played. Usually I find myself as an observer, but I played and had so much fun. The next day Tim wanted to play in earnest, so we went to Wal-Mart where he picked up some modeling clay in cans and some paint for fingerpainting. Another participant, Tomie, and Tim came up with the idea of using the play and the cards from Tim's game in a writing exercise. Six or seven of us participated and we were given a noun and worked in clay to express it. Then we were given another word, mine was an adjective, and worked in fingerpaint to express that one. Lastly, we were given a verb and used alternative media to express it. After each of our projects we wrote sentences to express our impression of our word and our "art". After all our hands on stuff, we did a free-write based on those sentences or impressions. It turned out exceptionally well and I hope in future retreats or weekends we do that again. I spent last week in a graduate student dorm as part of a writers' retreat. I'm trying to collect my thoughts on the experience. I'll start with some background. Ten years ago I went to a small community college in Kentucky. While there I wrote for and edited the newspaper and literary magazine, was given the Honors Award for Journalism, won first and third places for critical review and second place for news article in a state wide competition, and finally was awarded a creative writing scholarship to the University of Louisville. Not too shabby for a housewife and mom. Through people I met in through that experience I found the Green River Writers group. They had monthly fiction meetings where people read their work and were given critiques by whoever showed that evening. They also had seperate monthly poetry meetings. In the summers they rented dorms and had retreats. They were my first experience with a community of writers. All in all it was a very positive experience, even though there were only two of us genre writers. After all, the rules are the rules; like, you can't cough, snicker, giggle, etc, words, you can only speak them and then do those actions, at least if you want anyone to understand you. Things like viewpoint are not limited to genre, things like grammar, like pacing. Other things are limited to genre, but more on that later. So, for three years I was able to go to summer retreats. They started a Novels-In-Progress workshop with published authors mentoring a few aspiring novelists for a week. I went to the second of these and had Bob Mayer as my instructor, and by the way he is a fabulous teacher, completely grounded and able to tackle any genre. Then I moved away for seven years, lost contact with all the people I knew from the group, and even stopped writing for a few years. Eventually I went back to writing, then found a writing community on the internet, a genre specific group, which can spot the tropes and other pitfalls like no other writers. Thanks to Critters and the sff.net community at large, I have a wonderful loose group of peers to read and critique my work and whose work I'm happy to read and critique. As has been the case with my writing, the more projects I have in the air, the more ideas come to me for even more. So here I am juggling three novel first drafts, one novel revision, five short stories, six short story revisions, and a book review I promised someone I'd write. At least I've read the book and made notes. My middles week of the dare did not go too well. Actually, I had two middles and one end, then lost one middle because I saved over it (tsk, tsk, tsk). So now I have a nearly completed dragon story, a weird story my friend Marti started in my head which has a beginning and an end, and one middle that I'm still mourning. Translation: that dragon story is all but maybe two pages from an ending, and I really do like it. And the autoclave story came from the story starter Marti brought to my newsgroup and at first I thought it was a vampire story, but now I definitely know it isn't. So there is some progress. What's good, in a sneaky-underhanded-but-totally-not-my-doing kind of way, is that week two of the dare was scratched and this, which should be week three is week two. Works for me. Last week I started participating in a dare from the sff.net newsgroups. The dare is several weeks long, each week building up to the end result of having one story ready to go out in the mail to a market. The first week was the beginnings week and I came up with five beginnings. The second week, this week, is the middles or endings week for three of the beginnings from last week. I have one of those already up to seven pages, another I know I'm going to develop, and the third one I haven't chosen yet. Next week is the time to take two of those stories and rewrite or finish them. The last week one story is polished enough to send out. It sounds, to me, like a deadline would shut me down; that it would be just too much pressure. Except it worked the other way. A deadline imposes a schedule of sorts, gives me a commitment to having a certain amount of words done in a certain amount of time. I'm still working on getting our house in order from our recent move and while doing so I'm finding things I lost track of, notes I made to myself on plots and characters and scenes. I found some of my ancient notes on books 2 and 3 and even 4 (what ambition) of the current WIP. Much of it I roll my eyes at now, but some of it not so much. Risking the plight of sounding like someone with a novel that is never done, I can see that my WIP is not finished. The place I'm calling the end isn't, but there isn't enough material for another book, at least not with what I've got right now. On the plus side, continuing on from this false ending will give the additional VP character I mentioned before a beefier storyline. I whined for a while in sff.net's novel dare newsgroup about finishing my novel. I've been trying to do the rewrite on it for a while, but I got way too discouraged to post anything about it. Anyway, I finished this novel I'd been referring to as Round or Circle at close to 60k, which is much too short. But also it wasn't quite right. I needed another viewpoint character. The novel was written with three, but one more is definitely needed. He tells a different story. Ok, he might sorta/kinda be a bad guy, but what's wrong with that? This page last updated November 24, 2000. Unless otherwise noted, all contents Copyright 2000 by Lena Sawyer. All rights reserved.
I did finish the novel I was working on. As with my first novel I don't believe this one to be publishable. But I am getting closer. The reasons that neither are quite there yet are much the same: a lack of urgency in the main story line. I think my characters are good, I have some good scenes, but there is no sense of urgency, no great need to find out the why or the who or the whatever is waiting at the end. That's something I'm thinking about a lot and looking for in the things I read.
I've read a lot in the last few months. I read Jim Butcher's two novels, a Holly Lisle book I somehow missed, several books of Diane Duane's Wizardry series, Mick Farren's DARKLOST, the latest/last of Glen Cook's Black Company books, Matthew Farrell's THUNDER RIFT (which Stephen Leigh mentioned in his journal), a few other books I won't mention, and Karen E. Taylor's BLOOD TIES. I'm waiting not too patiently for Taylor's new book, THE VAMPIRE VIVIENNE, which is out next month (lucky me I got to read some of this already and it's excellent, plus I'm mentioned in the acknowledgements - finally, my name in print!), as well as the new book from Jim Butcher. I have on hand Julianne Lee's book, SON OF THE SWORD and I'm looking forward to it as I've heard some of a future book with the same characters way back in March at that retreat I attended and what I heard was very good.
On the personal front, I started a new job, then left that job for a better one. That translates to I've been in training for a long time now. Or at least it seems that way. As far as my family, we've had a death and several illnesses/worrisome times. That's to be expected, I suppose, but I'd rather read about those things than have them happen. Wouldn't everyone? Anyway, if things work out I'll be more attentive to this page in the near future.
While in the dare I was trying to work on Marilyn every day to the exclusion of all else, which is not my usual. The stress of that showed now and then. I usually work on more than one thing at a time and when I sit down to work I just open the file of which ever project appeals to me that day. I like working that way. So when I hit the wall with Marilyn I did wonder if maybe my energy level for working was down because I wasn't working in my usual way. Sometimes I would work on other things, but I almost always worked on Marilyn. Until I just couldn't work on that novel at all. Was it the middle slump? Was it boredom? What was going on? Well, thanks to an email from Stephen Leigh I think I now know what was happening. The ending no longer fits just right. Oh, it sort of fits. It was the right size, the right color, even the right style. But something just wasn't right. It was as if Marilyn had been fitted for a dress and then when it came time to wear it she'd lost or gained a few pounds. Not a lot, mind you, but even five pounds can be drastic when something is tailored just for you.
Marilyn is a mystery and has - as mysteries do - a dead body, we'll refer to him as DeadGuy. So, DG (for short) was murdered by Person Z and Marilyn finds his body. Fine so far. The reason for PZ (short is good) killed DG is kind of twisted, but still fits. But the evidence that leads to the discovery of PZ as the murderer just does not work. It did work in the outline stage, but in the writing I came to find out that DG was a person of particular ethics and these particular ethics would preclude the conversation that was on the tape that would have been the evidence. Add to it that a tape as the evidence is pretty lame. Gee, my ending fell apart. So, as Stephen suggested, I no longer had the right ending and the characters were resisting because I was forcing them into actions which weren't right for them. Since then I've gone ahead and written another scene that jumps ahead in the novel. I'm still not entirely clear on what it was that sent PZ over the edge, but I feel better not trying to force the wrong ending. Advice is nice. Good advice is even better.
I'm off to retreat for this week. This may mean I'll get some work done. Or it may mean I'll hang out with other writing people in person rather than on the internet. Both would be great.
Yeah, yeah, it's been a while. I think I hit that middle freeze that Jim Hines talked about in his journal. The wordage doesn't look like this should be the middle, but plotwise it is. My first drafts are very sparse, so I'm not worried about the numbers, just the moving of the plot. But then I fell down. After I told Sam and the world that I would do 200 words a day on average for this month, I just fell right down and did nothing for two weeks. I let her down and didn't even rag on her when she was unproductive. What a pain. That's why I do not like dares. I'm not reliable. No, not a bit. I'm not responsible and not dependable and shouldn't drag anyone else down with me. But boy, do I dress well.
What else? I may be going to a novel writing retreat for a week in March. Trying to work out the details now. It's with the Green River Writers in Louisville, same group I went to a summer retreat with this past July, once again at the graduate student dorms. I'm debating with myself how much good this would do me right now. Especially since I'd have to miss the first three days. Then again, what do I have to lose? Some money, though not a small fortune. And it isn't during Spring Break, which is good for me and my family. Then again, it may all be moot as I may have missed the deadline to reserve a room.
So my writerly thoughts about now concern middles. I have been struggling right here at the middle, wondering what to do to get to the end. I don't know if I've solved the problem, but I did start writing on the novel again, only I skipped ahead to a scene I've been wanting to write for a while. This comes closer to the end, so the novel is no longer strictly linear. Not as if that matters. Movies get made in a non-linear way and it doesn't seem to hurt them. But anyway, the thinking is to skip over the bit that is giving me trouble and continue on. That's the theory at least.
I'm planning to work on the current novel at least through the end of March (bar emergencies) and then re-evaluate. I'm hoping to work on the current novel at least through the end of this month (bar emergencies) and then re-evaluate. I'm working on the current novel at least through the end of this week (bar emergencies) and then re-evaluate. I'm planning on working on the current novel at least through the end of tomorrow (bar emergencies) and then re-evaluate. I'm planning to celebrate tonight (bar emergencies) that I worked on the current novel today and then re-evaluate. Which of these statements is true? All of them. Really. Today when I sat down to do my words I thought I was going to have to admit to 0 words today and call it a day off. Then I wrote 540 words. I can't say I always approach the writing this way, but there are days. There are also days when I've done as much as 1278 words in one sitting and wished I had time to do more. The long-term goal is to finish the novel get it polished, have an agent snap it up, get an immediate six-figure offer on the hardcover rights and a buying war in Hollywood. The immediate goal is to get just one word on the page. Anything in between is gravy.
Anyway, last week was a good one for the novel. Many words were written, the plot advanced a bit, and more tangles were found, some of which were untangled. Some of which have not. Currently I am working on getting my times right on day two of the action, which it seems would actually take two days to occur. No one person could do that much stuff in one day. Which means I've got a datebook entry started and I'm working out a more realistic schedule of events. Nothing has changed, it will still take the same number of days, all the same things will still happen, but if I plan it out maybe I won't have another tangle like this. This still falls under my last entry subject, outlines. I've written something with so few days to accomplish so much. The current WIP, Marilyn, lasts for nine days. In those nine days things happen that I cannot estimate or play with, they must happen in the time it actually takes. The last novel I wrote had a schedule of events, but if I decided one more day here or there was needed, I had the room to do that in. With this type of story that just will not work. Hence, I must be more organized in my planning.
It seems ASIMOV'S did not lose my manuscript, they were just extremly slow in my response. Rejection. I had already sent that story on to another market. For 2001 I currently have: 1 rejection and three stories out. I feel the urge to get some revisions done. I might work on them while I work on my datebook entries this week, since they are bugging me so much.
So, where do chapters end? In some books I read they seem to end right where there would be a commercial if it were on television - at a moment of excitement or anxiety or just curiosity, something that will bring you back. But every chapter can't end on a cliff hanger. At least, not every chapter of this novel is. One particular chapter was full of very emotional reaction scenes for my main character. I ended it with her leaving. Then the next chapter began with her action - her own emotional scene. Ok, an emotional scene is a reaction, true, but she was reacting to her own feelings, not everyone else's. Now the argument I had with myself was should that scene start the new chapter or end the old one? I decided to begin the next chapter with that bit because it felt right, that the previous chapter would be unbalanced with it, and because in this chapter Marilyn is acting and not reacting.
This brings me to the next thought I've been having and that's outlining. I have a few pages of notes that tell me what this novel is about, how it starts through to how it ends, but not a chapter by chapter guideline, and I call that my outline. I know I have to go from the dead body to the murderer being caught. I know I want Marilyn to have to find out why the murder was committed and by whom. I know I want Marilyn trapped into facing truths about herself and her relationships. And I know I want certain scenes to be a part of this journey. But I don't predetermine the content of the chapters. What kind of an outline is that? It's a loose one, maybe. But as I mentioned before I also have a calendar with day-to-day happenings on it for this story. I know that on day two of the story Marilyn meets up with the cousin. What chapter is day two? So far it's several chapters. A chapter break falls where it feels right to me. And I'm following my outline.
Now I've seen where some people outline down to the chapter and I wonder how they do not, not why, but how? Do they use the formal outline formula taught in grade school? I've never had much luck with those, except as after the fact things done for college papers. But I can see it, sort of, working. But I've never broken a story down like that. Maybe thsoe who do can write the actual story faster for having done that. I wonder.
On my last novel I had a typewritten eight page outline/synopsis (that I was constantly changing, then just let go of). I guess I can say my outline is more like a synopsis, then. A rather loose synopsis. I hate having to go back and update the outline, but I believe in letting a story happen. Along the journey of story in my previous novel I took some turns away from the outline, some of them quite odd, but in the end the group got to the town I originally had them going to and did the deed I set up from the beginning. I added in another character or two along the way and a death that I hadn't anticipated, but that worked out well. But I wonder, do people who outline meticulously allow themselves to deviate from those outlines? Those deviations, for me, just flowed and brought a flavor to the novel that I really like. In fact, one of those characters that just appeared has become the focal point in one of my new novel outlines. If I had been tied to my outline I would have ignored that character. And lost that future novel idea.
It looks like there are good things and bad things about outlines, just like there are many styles of outlines. Email me your style: I'm seriously interested.
On the submission front, since it has been more than three months since I sent off a story to ASIMOV'S and haven't heard back, as per their web page I'm assuming it was lost and have sent it on somewhere else. Another story I sent out came back with the information that that particular market is closed until next January. Which means I have one out, one lost, and one about to be retired until a suitable market shows up.
So I got out of the snag. But how? I turned to my dear friends and came up with the wrong solution. Then turned to them again, and got back on the right track. Which dear friends are these? Index cards. I even carry them around with me. I use index cards for everything, phone numbers, urls, messages, plot notes, bookmarks, everything. Usually I prefer the mid-size, though I'm a sucker for any size (this is not the same as my obsession with paper clips, which I will not go into). Anyway, I took an index card and wrote down the actions of the chapter, then went to bed. The next morning when the clock went off I said to myself, "The action of the chapter is what you use to get across the points, stupid woman" (I'm rude in the morning, even to myself). Which meant that later I had to put down on an index card the points I needed to use the chapter to make. In a novel there is more room for stretching, but that doesn't mean that I should put in wasted scenes, so I needed to get myself straight with the purpose for the scenes in this chapter. I set this index card so it was on my monitor while I wrote. Index cards are small and useful that way.
Of course, my index card did not guarantee success. I kept having to scribble more things on it, making it almost illegible, and finally I had to admit there was more thinking to do. At this point I used a radial graph, which I think my old friend Jerry Young taught me years ago. In this type of graph I write the word/phrase that's giving me trouble in the middle of a sheet of paper. Then I draw several spokes coming out of that. On those spokes I write things like "Is Neal happy to see Marilyn?", then I radiate off of that with answers and more questions. For this particular graph I used three "wheels" for the three scenes I had envisioned. Number 2 is "At Neal's Condo", and I radiated off of that "Does N show up?" with a branch saying "Yes," and so on and so on. Normally I have used this as a big picture kind of thing, but here, in a small picture, it worked out well for me.
There are a lot of devices that can be very helpful during a project. Once I did a timeline to see where various characters of different ages where in relation to one another at times in their lives. I've also used a calendar, with each day's actions noted. A map or floor plan has been good for me now and then. Also, I've had some success with just listing questions, in a kind of children's game of "why?" to get to answers I hadn't even realized there were questions for. Sometimes the only way I can get over a snag is to turn to another project, usually writing, but sometimes I'll turn to something completely different, like a computer game, or even a cross-stitch piece. With my mind off the snag, my subconscious can often push through the solution.
And last week in Monissa Whitely's newsgroup on SFF.Net she put up a really good exercise. That turned out to be a great tool to get into a character's head. And it's so simple. "Make a to-do list of things your character plans to do that day." When I did that for Marilyn, although the day turned out quite different, it gave me a better perspective on her. I might make that particular exercise a regular thing. So, does anyone else have some good exercises or snag-enders? Email them to me and I'll share them with the world, or at the five or so people who read this page.
Have I mentioned that I am a part of Web Rats? That's an online community of writers with journals, not quite a web-ring, but similar. I joined a while back and link to them on the left. Lately we've been getting chummy and some of the 'Rats are involved in a dare, with the participants posting their progress. Way to go, people!
I've begun work on a new novel with the working title of Marilyn. I started working on it on Wednesday and wrote more on Thursday and Friday, bringing my total up to close to 2400 words for the week. Progress is going pretty fast because this is a novel I had already outlined and begun work on, then abandoned. I am editing my notes as I go and making changes to the outline. Some of what I'm doing is just retyping, but there are gaps, some of them huge, that I'm also filling in as I go. So far I've got a prologue and two complete chapters and a portion of the third chapter. I take the weekends off, but I'll start back with it Monday. In the bar to the left I'm going to keep a record of my progress, to be updated weekly.
I'm hoping to do more frequent updates this year. I won't say I've made any resolutions, because I stopped doing that several years back, but that is one of the things I do hope to become more adept at and faithful to this year. I've been experimenting with the look of my page recently and I'm not finished yet. The background is nice, but is a blatant (with permission) steal from Marti, as is the layout a permitted steal from Trey. I don't want to get all involved in learning more HTML than I know right now, but I would like to make some changes and know what part I've changed so I know what not to mess with. I guess you could say I have a "safety first" outlook.
In my newsgroup I'm continuing the weekly Tuesday Thingy, which is exercises I make up and put out there for, well, I guess for myself and the few people who drop in. I'm keeping a list of these exercises (linked to at the left, as well) and have sometimes managed to do a paragraph or a scene on them or even to work them into projects I've already got going, which I really like. I think doing them keeps me in practice for coming up with ideas, but I've noticed some trends in them. I'm going to bring it up in my newsgroup one of these days and see if anyone else is a.) out there, and b.) noticing the same things I am. One is that there is a darkness, not as in evil, but as in tone, to them. Sort of a gothic feel seeps through in quite a few of these exercises. It hasn't been done on purpose, it's just a trend I've noticed. Also, although I believe I'm a character oriented writer, these exercises rarely have to do with character. In fact, they usually are strong in the physical details area, something my writing in general is weak in. Now that's just odd.
Starting the second week in January or so I'm starting work on a new project. Sometimes I find myself thinking about it, but not intensely. I'm going to take it easy and try to work on it every week day, or if nothing is coming from that, on something else, but not with a specific word count or page count in mind. I'll just write for a while, until I have other things to do. I mentioned to someone that I might get involved in a dare in January, but I'm not so sure that's a good idea. A dare usually involves pledging to do a certain amount of words or pages a day and then keeping track and posting the daily totals. Most of them last a week and several people participate, encouraging one another. For me, just the goal of writing every day should be enough. Writing every day, while sometimes difficult and other times - like now - impossible, gives me such a great feeling of accomplishment and energy that when I'm not doing it I really miss it.
I'm still making notes, doing some editing, writing some background material, but not sitting down and actually writing. Can you tell I want to? I do. And I will. I'm just on holiday hours now. That may mean I'll get back to it with a sense of renewal, with an enthusiasm I might not otherwise have had. For me, writing isn't a chore I have to do, it's something I need to do. I don't know what to compare it to, nothing seems to fit. I need to write like painters need to paint, like sculptors need to sculpt, like dancers need to dance, like singers need to sing. It's who I am and how I know myself, how I define myself to me. All my life I'd had stories in me, stories I told myself or wrote down, stories that don't depend on whether or not I have a market to send them to or an audience to read them. Yes, I'd like to have them sold and read and I send some of them out, trying for that, but I would have to write even if there were no markets open to what I write.
I try to never look at the time I spend writing as wasted. Sure, some of the words don't make it into the finished piece, but they count because each word is one word closer to my becoming a better writer. How can I ever become better if I don't work at it? And how else can I work at writing except by writing? After all, don't painters paint more to become more skillful? And isn't it the same with sculptors, dancers, singers? All those books about writing, and there are some really good ones, can't make you a better writer. You still have to apply something you've learned, and that means writing. Then you can look at what you've done and see if that advice has helped you. But you have to have some writing to be able to make that judgement. That's an aspect, in my opinion, of professionalism, which has nothing to do with how much of your income comes from your writing, but has everything to do with how seriously you take your writing. And even though I'm "on vacation" right now, I take it very seriously.
Happy holidays. See you in January.
I saw UNBREAKABLE last week. I really liked it. And it made me think in a different direction. That's a good thing, to get a story idea out of something else that way, but it's also bad because it's distracting. I mean, how can you enjoy a movie when suddenly your mind goes off on a tangent? And story ideas are not things you can think about later. Later you will have forgotten them. Or at least I will. I have to devote some time to thinking about the idea or I'll lose it. At least a movie can be seen again. Or a song can be listened to again. Or even art can be viewed again. The time that a wandering mind is really a liability is during a conversation. Honestly. Someone can say something and my mind wanders down another path and I miss what was going on. Now if these paths were enormously successful, like I was another Stephen King, I don't think I'd mind as much. Other people might mind, because they would find out when I did interviews or in the dedication of a book, but I wouldn't mind at all.
I have set myself a goal of the end of the year to finish one project. That'll be the first going through and note taking on the novel. Then I intend to relax about it and not let whatever state of being it is in bother me. That's the plan, anyway. Then I hope to concentrate on a new first draft novel. This one is a mystery and is actually mapped out pretty much. I'm also working on a co-operative project - a shared world anthology - that I find fascinating and exciting. We have meetings on IRC for talking about it and we have a map and some pertinent facts about the area and cultures worked out. I'm keeping a notebook and a file folder of all the things that I think of and have an introduction and part of a story already. Plus, I'm still working on the revising of some short stories and adding to some bits and pieces here and there. Right now I have one story still out at a market. When that one comes back I have decided the next place it will go out to so there shouldn't be much down time. On the other hand, it could sell. Why not?
I did not make it to the writers' group in Louisville last month due to the fact that my son had a martial arts tournament out of town, but I hope to make it to this month's meeting where the focus will be on romance and sex. I want to see how the format works. More importantly, it's great to get together with other writers.
And it's time for the holidays. This year I intend to do all that I can to make our home Christmas central. We're down by two kids (who are living on their own several states away) and we're finally back in an area where we might even get to see snow, so we're on a seesaw as far as looking forward to/looking back at Christmas. But I've bought more cards to send out and have started some holiday projects that I hope to have finished in time. Since we're in a climate where we will have cold weather I intend to also do some baking this year.
To those who celebrate it, Happy Thanksgiving!
I have seven of the Gies and Gies books on medieval life and have recommended them to other people and continuously browse them. I have four Joseph Campbell books and recommend them whole heartedly. I have children's books on castles, which are excellent for getting a feeling of the structures in an easy to follow form, and need looking at every now and then just because. I recently did a ton of research, including documentary videos and enough note taking to make my hand and arm cramp, on the Anasazi. I found the freakiest bit of information on lizard men sightings across the country. I have a diagram of the Winchester Mystery House. I have printed things off the web about the philosophers George Berkley and Ludwig Wittgenstein. I have searched and searched for any and all information on the incubus and succubus. I have newspaper clippings on how mail bombs are sent. I have a bookmark with a picture of Einstein sticking out his tongue that sits on my desk. Ok, that last isn't research, but it reminds me not to take anything too seriously, not even the philosphers.
So I research and research and research. But not with any concrete ideas in mind. I just look up things that strike me as interesting at the moment, covet books about subjects I'm unfamiliar with, and clip or print articles that make me pause. And maybe one day I'll use them in a story or a novel. Maybe.
I'm fascinated by people who talk about all the research they have to do before writing a book or a short story. "What are you looking up?" I ask them, "What sources have you found helpful?" I think it's because I can't imagine doing it that way. I can't imagine the prep work they do before they write. I've done a synopsis, a bit of dialogue, a general plot map, even a timeline. But I have never just sat with a plot in mind and done research. Oh, I have looked up specific information when I've needed it. I sent a few emails back and forth to a man who works on a ranch to get some details on horses right as well as a few emails to a woman with a strong background in anthropology to talk about ghosts in a polytheistic society, but these were both after the fact, after first draft. That's when I want to be sure I've gotten things right. No, I am not an expert on anything. Having done it four times I can say I know a little bit about giving birth, but I'm no expert on even that. Maybe it's because my stories are character driven or maybe because I'm not that forthcoming on details, or maybe it just works that way for me. Writing works differently for each writer, maybe researching does as well.
The writing group I've been meeting with once a month in Louisville is changing to a sort of discussion format for two months out of every quarter. This month, the first under the new system, is going to be a discussion of "Write What You Know". I think what I know are my characters. I think all these years of people watching, of being the person who listens, are what I know. It doesn't make me any sort of expert on the human condition or in any way qualified to interpret, as in counseling, but I remember hearing from a woman how a woman can love a man who beats her. I remember a girl so torn up by a break up that she let loose and got violent and thrown in jail and said it felt good. I remember a young man telling me he was gay and crying that he couldn't tell his family because they would throw him out on the streets. I remember seeing an elderly couple every day in McDonald's, sharing a happy meal and an ice cream cone, holding hands across the tiny table. And I remember a woman at a mall washing her little girl's face with a tissue, telling her, "It's ok to cry, but try to clean up right after." And I guess all of that was research, too.
I feel I've gotten better lately. The people who serve as my first readers feel that I've gotten better lately. My stories seem to have more energy, more passion, as of late. And the writing itself is flowing from my fingers, with very little hesitation. No, I don't always know where it is going, but I just go with it and sometimes it ends up as a new short story, as with my new Coyote tale, and sometimes I think it must be background material for a future story, as in the ten or so pages I have in a file I've named Battlefield. And I'm still working on the novel. I'm doing all my learning on this novel, let me tell you. There are scenes I wrote last year that I'm looking at this year in the rewrite and seeing flaws, but seeing them as things I can and am fixing, not as something hopeless. I've even noticed a trend in my writing: I rush my endings in the first draft. Ok, this doesn't seem a major revelation, but I've always seen tree bark, not even trees, let alone forest. What this means to me is that I'm able to take a step back and look at my work more objectively. And it's making a difference.
The type of stories I'm writing is taking a turn, too. Long ago, back in the olden days when I was a teenager, I wrote stories that were SF in that they were slightly off-center, just a bit left of reality. Things that I could see as simply normal, or that I could also turn my head and squish my eyes and look at just a little bit differently and see something completely different. Things that were inside of me, that involved my world view, my take on my own reality. My story ideas lately reflect this in a big way as does my research. Maybe it's the influence of all the Charles De Lint and Joseph Campbell that I've read. Small things, little bits of life twisted just a bit, interest me as story material lately. And I have a passion for researching interesting bits of this and that and incorporating them into what I'm writing. It's the passion, probably, that is showing up in my writing recently. When I can talk on and on with great gusto about the research behind the story, when the story itself is one that is seemingly written in a whirlwind of creative energy, that is when the passion seems to jump out from the words. Maybe that is the bar for measuring the success of writing: is there passion? Anytime the answer is yes, that's success.
Do I read mainstream? Not that often. I have picked up "Glimmer Train" a few times and used to pick up "Story" now and then, plus read fiction in various magazines, but usually it just doesn't grab me like SF. I feel manipulated by mainstream. Maybe because in SF there is such richness to the worlds, the technologies, the cultures, that it is a complete experience for me, whereas mainstream is so just about the relationships or the personal growth, or whatever. Not to say SF isn't about those things as well, enough so that the good stuff is emotionally involving, but I don't think it's as blatantly about those things. And yes, the situations are larger than my own life. One of the last mainstream novels I read is Wally Lambs' SHE'S COME UNDONE. Now this is an emotional rollercoaster of a ride through a woman's life, from her messed up childhood, to her unhappy early adulthood, until she finally finds what makes her happy and grabs it. Not a bad book. But I had to force myself to keep reading it. And why did I do that when I have stacks of books waiting to be read? To see if I could finish a mainstream novel, of course. I did finish it. Finally. It seemed I was being beaten over the head with the story of this woman's life. That's all there was. In SF the same things could happen, the same degree of unhappiness and discovery, but other things would be happening as well.
I set a goal for myself to finish a certain project by today. I have worked on it, but it isn't finished. I gave myself two weeks to accomplish this feat. In that two weeks I've written a bit over 3,000 words on it, plus I've done 1,500 plus on one new story and 600 on another. I spent some time doing some editing on my latest vampire story, too. That's about 5,000 words for ten days, which I don't think is too shabby, though I'd certainly like to do better.
The kids have gone back to school. Actually, this is their second week back. That better enabled me to set a schedule for myself, which I have done. It's a pretty lose schedule, but it affords me writing time while I am alone at home. Has it helped? Yes, definitely. When I can actually immerse myself in what I'm doing without having to break away every ten minutes or so to mediate, listen, or tell them to keep it down I can get a lot more done. Not an amazing amount, but more.
This leads me to another thing, which is the music I play while I write. For a long time I've used music to set a mood for writing. I prefer music that is mostly instrumental and I like to have it low enough to hear, but not loud enough to be noticeable. When I'm working on the sword and sorcery novel I tend to listen to Clannad or the soundtrack to BRAVEHEART. For some vampire stuff I must play Portishead or Bauhaus or the Mark Isham soundtrack to BLADE. These CDs just feel write for those stories. Except, the last CD I bought is TRICKLE from Olive and there is a song on there that inspired one of my latest shorts (at least I hope it's a short). When I'm writing on that piece I turn that song on and play it over and over and very loud. There are several songs on that CD alone that have inspired story ideas for me. I've made notes on them all, but one idea I had to start writing on immediately. There is a song from Everything But the Girl that inspired story notes. The same for two songs from Phil Collins. For these songs the lyrics have affected me, while with the music I use for mood it is the music itself that I am concerned with. Bonnie Halcomb said in my newsgroup that music occupies the logical side of the brain freeing the creative side to do it's thing. That sounds right. But sometimes those sides collide.
There I go, sounding messy again.
So of course, with this impetus I sat down to write a story that might better be suited to this market. And got at least, well, ok, no where close, but it is a vampire story. Just not the kind the guidelines say they want. I sat down with the intention of doing something close to the guidelines, something that had come to me the night before. It would have been an angsty, mean and angry piece, but very Gothic. I had notes beside me as I sat down to the keyboard. And what happened? My fingers don't read notes, they just write them. So I have the first draft of a vampire story, another one that's going to be difficult to sell. Humor. If I had intended to write humor I wouldn't have been able to, of course. That just follows. I like this story that came of my fingers, though. Maybe I still have the other one in me to write, I don't know.
So, right now I have one story out at "Glimmer Train" and I emailed the story that was just rejected out to an anthology that Connie Wilkins recommended. That's two out. I have one story that needs a major overhaul, which I'm stalling on. I have another story that is printed out and ready to be finely gone over. I'm still working on the second draft of the novel, and making progress. I have a Venice story I can't get to gel, though I do still like it, so I'm letting it rest until something comes to me. I've also got a story that starts with an autoclave, courtesy of Marti's suggestion in my newsgroup, which has a murky middle. I have other notes and bits of scenes, and two novels I'm not trying all that hard to work on, plus one I'm outlining, and I just need to stop time and work on everything for about, oh, five years. That should do it. Maybe.
I was watching a conversation on IRC the other night about how writing every day is over rated. I don't know about that. I do try to write everyday, though I don't have a fixed schedule at the moment. There are days, though, when I just can't get even one word down. Not recently, but I'm sure they aren't gone for good. I remember the advice that if you want to be a professional writer you have to treat your writing as a profession. And that means work at it every day. So I do try to do that and feel terrible when I can't. Sometimes when I've gone away for a few days I've scribbled things by hand, notes or scenes, a bit of dialogue, or taken a few pages of something with me to edit, trying to keep the momentum going. Now that I have a laptop that's easier. But there is another aspect to treating my writing in a professional way that I had backslidden in: I was sharing early drafts with other people, for critique. That shows a disrespect for myself and the work, highly unprofessional. Doing that can kill a story when it's at that really vulnerable early stage. So I'm not doing that anymore. Not really talking much about stories that are in progress, even. Some people can do that, but I tend to talk them out, lose my enthusiasm, by doing that. So I've given up on that, for the most part.
Often during the retreat people would post a free-write at a certain time and all show up for someone to throw out a phrase and then they would write on that. I only participated in two of those. I took a lot of things in progress that I wanted to spend time on, so I didn't feel the need to get my creative juices flowing. If anything I had a need to stop time so I could deal with the overflow of my creative juices. Sounds really messy, but I hope you get my meaning. One of the free-writes I did participate in was based on something kind of wild. Mary, a great woman I know from way back, saw a journal that had been put out for the trash and picked it up. She started writing in it from where the owner had left off, making up that person's life. Man, that is creative. But in the journal she also found a small stack of photographs. Those photographs are what we used for her free-write exercise. The idea intrigued me so much I had to do that one.
So the rest of the week I had much time to write and socialize. Occasionally I participated in a read/critique session, but mostly I wrote alone in my room. Got some good insights on where to go with some pieces, finished the first draft on another, polished the second draft of another, and came to the realization (with Terry Kanago's help, thanks Terry) that one of my characters not only does not have to die, but that his dying would be anticlimatic and pointless. So that's back on track. The parts of my novel that were read at the critiquing sessions were action scenes, which I tend to have little faith in, so it was good to get some feedback on those.
I also went out to dinner several times with some of the best company I've had in a long time (outside of my wonderful family, of course) and had some fantastic conversations. Hit a bookstore, of course, and bought some weird items, including a set of pens that are extremely thin, thin enough to be bookmarks. I also got a book called The Worst-Case Scenario, Survival Handbook, by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht, which is fascinating. Did you know there is a right way to fall off a building? Personally, I'd just fall, but if you are the kind of person who would be able to act in a panic situation, knowing the right way could help.
The last night, Friday night, I went to RiverCon. The last RiverCon. Terry dropped me off before she went to a closing function, then joined me later. She was supposed to hook up with Stephen Leigh, who she knew through his online journal, and asked me to let him know that she would be there later. Only neither she nor I took in account that I had no way of knowing him. Silly me, I kept checking badges of men as they walked past me. I asked at the con's registration desk finally, but he had already checked in and they had no way to get a message to him. I wandered around the dealer's room and looked for hematite jewelry, which I like and have several pieces of, but didn't find any that appealed to me. But I did find two rings at one table, which is very unlike me. I have tons of earrings, but only my wedding band. Until now. Then I wandered a bit more and found a table that had a big display of Glen Cook books. I love Cook's Garrett series, but haven't read any of his Black Company books, mostly because I wanted to start with the first one and figured it would be hard to find. But I didn't really look for them on that pass. I went to a panel on the history of RiverCon, which was fun. Then I had dinner and got finished just in time for the Opening Ceremonies. At the Opening Ceremonies again I was looking at men's name badges, trying to find Stephen Leigh. Mike Resnick was funny, and there were so many writers there it was quite amazing. After the Ceremonies there was an ice cream social. Coming out of the kitchen with my dish of ice cream, I had really given up on finding the elusive Mr. Leigh when I turned around and his name was right in my face. That poor man. I yelled right in his face, with him in mid-conversation, "Stephen Leigh! Stephen Leigh! Terry will be here at 10:30!" Poor man probably thought I was insane.
I wandered again into the dealer's room, I think, I may have the sequence out of order, anyway I made straight for the table that had all the Glen Cook books and scooped up the first two of the Black Company series and would have bought even more but the seller did not take plastic. Which is the second place I made a fool of myself. I had over the cash for them and he asks, "Would you like these autographed?" And I do a double take and see his name tag, which I hadn't actually registered before, says Glen Cook. I stammer, "Yes, yes, please," and I think blathered something about his Garrett books. Oh, my, I should not be allowed to go to cons alone.
So that was my week, or at least most of it.
And I just have to throw a big congratulations to my friend Jack for completing his novel. Way to go, Jack!
This past spring I moved back to the Louisville area. The chance to get away on my own for a week and concentrate on some specific projects was very tempting. But I wavered. Then Terry Kanago, another sff.net member, mentioned in IRC that she was attending. Having another genre writer going as well, especially one that I knew and liked, convinced me to go. So for one week, from a Friday to the following Saturday, I lived in a graduate dorm room with a hot plate and a laptop. We only turned on the television in the lobby area once, for details on the crash of the concord, but other than that we went media free. Some people had their own cars or rental cars, but I didn't and so I mostly stayed in the dorm. This is the most affordable workshop I've ever heard of: rooms are $23 per night and the retreat fee is $50, for a total of $234. No meals are included, but each dorm had a fridge and a microwave, plus I brought my own hotplate, which made eating cheap for me. There are more than enough restaurants and fast food places close by, plus a grocery store, and most importantly an office supply store and two large bookstores. Priorities, you know.
I'll give more details later once I've got a better perspective on things.
I sent out another story since my last entry here and had it returned. I have two in envelopes now ready to go out. Also, I have a short-short that a friend starting a fanzine would like to use in their first issue. They have some starting up problems to deal with before this becomes a reality, though.
Notice I am not mentioning the dare. Nope. Not a bit.
My dragon story is right now in the sit and wait stage. I find I do better if I leave finished stories to have a sort of cooling off period before I do the final editing. Then I print them out and look them over. Then I send them to the people I know I can trust for editing and plot critique. Then I weigh what they say, hopefully keeping my own original vision intact, and go over the story again. Then maybe I mail it out. That mailing out part is not something I'm very good at. I'm more likely to leave it on the computer, stick the marked up pages in a file folder, and find it months (or more) later and say, "Hey, that's not too bad, why didn't I ever do anything with this?" And I don't have an answer for that question.
My atuoclave story has an ending and a beginning, but the middle is a bit murky right now. I had a middle, but I found it too much of a cliche, so I'm rethinking it.
I've been alternating what novel I'm working on. I have a mystery novel in progress that I work on now and then. That one I find is easy to spend time with, but there isn't a huge amount of newness to the project. The thing is a mystery has to be so well thought out before you write it, so much preplanned, that I find I'm following the blueprint and just going and going. Not to say that there aren't times I start writing on it and look up surprised to find that two hours and not twenty minutes has gone by. Which is a good thing (been channeling Martha Stewart lately).
This journal isn't updated that often, nor is it very specific. I keep another journal, a paper journal that is hand written. In that one I keep specific story notes . I only write in it when I have something to say about a project or ideas for a project that I'm trying to get my mind around. Some ideas area spark of interest and I have to talk them out with myself before I find out what is was I saw in them. Like an article I saw in an urban legends newsgroup, which I could never find substantiation for, that in Punjab there are organized beggars who are deformed in a certain way whom no one knows anything about. The implication was that a local temple was purposely deforming children who were taken there for refuge in order to have a pitiful troop of beggars to make them rich. Very strange. But there was something in there that I had a feeling for. Another idea I was thinking about was the harmful side effects somethings cause, like manufacturing plants causing pollution. So, I took both ideas and added magic and a girl who wants out of the whole thing, and wrote a story. That one is in serious need of revision and I'm making notes about it, but there is a story in there that I really like. When I write about that story in my other journal I write things like, "Rith has got to go: his character serves no real purpose and just takes up space. And no baby. It isn't needed." That journal gets a lot more play than this one.
Then what is the purpose of an online journal? I was reading someone else's journal the other night and emailed the person about something I read there. Encouragement is what they got from me and my little email. But even if no one emails me about mine (which would probably scare me, honestly -- Oh no, don't read my journal!), having an evolving record of my work out here, on the web, is in itself encouragement to me to go on, to keep producing. I've read bits and pieces of a lot of journals online, many I've never sent the keeper an email about, but I've been encouraged by them and more importantly I think they were encouraged themselves by writing the entries. When I write my entries I'm taking a hard look at what I'm doing. And it is either something I can say "Way to go" about or "You've done better, you'll do better again" to. Either way works for me, not against me.
The story I sent out a bit ago returned. I have one more market I'm going to try this one in, then it retires. It could be that something will come along, a new magazine or an anthology with an open call, that it will fit and then I'll dust it off and send it out again. Wish the poor thing luck.
School is out now and that means less computer time for me. Still, I'm managing to get at least a few words of something most days. Even if it's only notes on stuff. And I've more or less (sometimes just barely) managed to get an exercise in my newsgroup every Tuesday, with help now and then from my friends. The only one so far that has grabbed me has been the autoclave idea, but I'm writing them all down for future possiblities.
I have sketched out the details of the new ending to the magnum opus. I've taken what I can use from my notes on what would have been the sequels and made them into a stronger, better ending. I had to do some research in social anthropology to make sure the beliefs of the society would follow logically. At one point I had made the decision to have one of the characters die, but I liked the character too much to follow through on it. Now I can see that it's the right way to go and I know I have to do it.
I have one story out right now. In July the reading period opens for another magazine and I have a story ready to send there. If this story-dare gives me one story ready to go out, I'll send it out sometime in July. I've been thinking that gives me the retreat to lay out all the pages of the novel and take a good look at it. I'll have to lay in a big supply of sticky notes for the occasion.
I recently had a particular story rejected for the third time and in not thinking about it (nothing comes to me when I think about it, of course, only when I let go and think about other things) ideas for the revision came to me. Also, I've gotten through the retyping/editing of a mainstream story I hope to send out in June. I cleaned it up, changed this and that, and think it's pretty good. It comes in at about 4400 words. And from the exercise I posted in my newsgroup I got something of a bit more than 300 words. It's definitely fantasy and I know more than is on the page. I may continue it. Another person ran with it as well and got something not fantasy, but moody and with one heck of a hook. I hope she develops it (hint, hint).
On another front, at this point I'm getting excited about my plans for the summer. I've gotten in touch with Green River Writers, a face-to-face group I used to belong to which is in Middletown/Louisville, KY, and their annual summer retreat begins July 21 this year. It runs the entire week, which is particularly convenient because July 27, 28, and 29 are the dates of the last RiverCon in Louisville (RiverCon has a web site). So I'm going to attend both. The retreat is at the U. of L. Shelby Campus and the price for the retreat as well as for a room is extremely modest (email mary_odell@ntr.net for more information). I may be a pencil-and-legal-pad only writer while there, but having that time alone to organize my thoughts and ideas sounds like just what I need just when I need it.
Back to Home Page
Back to Journal