The Changing Nature of Truth

It is not our job to see to it that everyone shares our beliefs. If I say the sky is falling, you very rightly inform me of my scientific ignorance, and I persist in believing that the sky is falling, the correct Amethyst response is to accept that I truly believe the sky is falling.

If you cannot alter my belief with polite arguments, nor bring yourself to commiserate with me in my dismay over this disaster, the kind and Amethyst thing to do is to avoid further discussion with me of sky. It will do you no harm to leave me in my belief - and if I'm that insistent on maintaining it, there is probably some reason for my determination.

In this case, of course, I would be wrong (unless my definition of sky is quite different from the usual). But that doesn't diminish the fact that it may be my belief. Do not assume that another person's belief, if it differs from yours, is wrong, or that he is lying, or that his arguments are designed to annoy.

Even if the person who differs from you should resort to tactics that you regard as uncivil, it is not Amethyst to respond in kind. Indeed, the Amethyst response is to apologise profusely and sincerely for any harm you may already have caused by trying to change this person's belief. His uncivil behavior almost certainly indicates that for reasons you may not understand he is in pain. A practicing Amethyst will not wish to increase it. (Do not imagine that those who seem to prefer misery are any the less hurt by it.)

This applies whether you can prove your belief or not. It is really not important to be right, nor shameful to discover one has been wrong. Each of us has a right to decide what to believe, and none has a right to insist that others believe the same.

It can be helpful to offer information. But don't forget that in most cases, if the person who rejects your viewpoint is really mistaken, he'll know it eventually.

Be at peace. Differ gracefully. If a friend seems also occasionally to be a fool, remember that the Divine Fool wears a lot of hats and is bl3essed in any of them.

Copyright © 1992-2005 by Melisa Michaels. Reproduction and distribution specifically prohibited. All rights reserved. Melisa Michaels is the author of the science fiction novels Skirmish, First Battle, Last War, Pirate Prince, Floater Factor, Far Harbor, and World-Walker, the fantasy novels Cold Iron and Sister to the Rain, and the mystery novel Through the Eyes of the Dead.