Excerpt from the story TIME
- What is the cost of existence outside the collective?
Endless isolation? Timeless fear? An eternity on the run? I've paid the
fee for conforming, and it's too high.
- As I enter the city limits of Carcassonne, just north of the border
between Spain and France, the gold-fire sun threatens from just below the
horizon. It is only one hour from blazing into the sky. It could
incinerate me to the bone, a physical pain to match and possibly
obliterate the mental anguish searing my mind. I am obsessed with how all
this began.
- Six months ago, on one of those mysterious tropical nights, when the
air is dense with negative ions and vibrates with electrical currents, I
felt something unusual was about to occur. That's why I was not surprised
to see her.
- The lime-colored Caribbean waves rolled lazily against the shore, and
hers was a different though complementary rhythm she kept. She walked
along the moist sand, at the water's edge, moving at a nervous clip,
glowing with that luminescence that pulsates from our bodies, that only
our kind can detect.
- I was seated on the highest of several boulders that jut out into the
ocean, watching the calm water, the new moon. For once I felt sated,
hardly aware of the aching loneliness that has tormented me since I
altered.
- I sensed her a mile away. It cannot be otherwise with us. I watched.
And waited. She looked straight ahead, yet I knew she saw me, my light.
Aware of me as I was of her.
- As she approached, I grew cautious, paranoid, as Luciano used to call
me. He is far older than me, not by decades or centuries, but a
millennium. I'd always assumed that so much experience would sharpen the
instincts, if not the intellect. He had cautioned me about encounters with
our kind, the only ones who can do us real damage. But I sensed she was
alone.
- Once she was within fifty yards, I jumped down, in a way that let her
know I was both powerful and aggressive. Not that she was much of a
threat; the females rarely are, except to mortals, of course. But it's
good to go on the offensive when you don't know what you're dealing with.
If nothing else, Luciano taught me that much.
- She stopped as if she'd walked into a wall, as still as a Choc Mool
sculpture. I waited, but she only studied me, as I studied her. She was
exquisite. Ebony hair swirled down the sides of her pale face and over her
shoulders. Her eyes were the color of violets, but the expression in them
would have wilted any flower on the stem. She wore a light cotton dress,
ochre, if I remember correctly, with thin straps. A slight breeze ruffled
the fabric against her legs. And she was barefoot, which I found charming.
Quaint. I recall being impressed that she held her hands calmly at her
sides, because she was panting. She looked very nearly out of her mind.
- I stepped towards her until we were five feet apart. Instantly, her
strong odor struck me. Sharp honey and sweet earth. She was in heat. Of
course. It suddenly made sense. It's about the only time the females
approach us, when they want something. That's what Luciano believes and
generally speaking I agreed with him, or did. One hundred and twenty years
on this earth breeds cynicism. My opinions are formed. Or were.
- I'd had encounters before with the females. Dozens. Most I can only
describe as hags, disturbing bloodsuckers, creatures of the darkest,
filthiest night, best left in the ancient crypts they call home. Still,
I'd take them. That's what they came for. And I have my own needs. And
when it was over, they'd nudge back into the shadows. Each time it was the
same. I always felt relieved to see them go. I never saw any one of them
twice. Nor did I want to.
- She was different, though. For one thing, she was young to the life,
that was obvious. And she had changed young. Her body was mid-twenties,
her energy no more than thirty years. The other thing that captivated me
was the look on her face. Lust, of course--they can't help being obsessed,
it comes with the desire. But fear mixed in. And contempt. I found her
enchanting.
- I took two steps forward, and her breath quickened. Her eyes flashed
in the silver moonlight, simultaneously inviting and repelling. I smiled a
little thinking, I might actually like this one. I felt my penis harden,
and with that I felt mortal again.
- I reached out and unbuttoned the top of her dress. Slowly, without
touching her skin, I slid the fabric down until it gathered at her waist.
Full breasts, the nipples calling out to be teased. In my mortal years,
when given half a chance, I preferred a slow buildup, although since the
change that hadn't been possible.
- Intense heat radiated from her. A low sound slipped from between her
lips, a hiss perhaps, but I took that as encouragement.
- I circled her to the right. She watched me out of the corner of her
eye until I was behind her and she couldn't see me without turning. I can
admit to myself now that I was trying to intimidate her a bit. It's just
that so many of them are witches. The first few times, when I'd tried to
be kind and gentle, giving them what they craved, not one of them hadn't
tried to rip the blood from my veins, and the genitals from my groin. I
had no idea what made them that way. Luciano always accused me of not
knowing how to handle them. I was still 'young', by his standards, with
much to learn, he insisted. Back then I had been willing to concede the
point.
- I stroked her hair. Fine, silky, each strand wavy, electrical, alive.
She jumped like a spark at the contact. I was about to say something,
anything, attempt a fresh approach since I'd never spoken to one of them
before. Maybe try to convey an understanding of the need and fear that I
knew must be driving her.
- Suddenly she bolted, darting across the white sand toward the jungle,
like a chameleon racing for the safety of a surface it could blend with.
Instinctively, I took off after her.
- We ran half a mile before I brought her down, face first. She fought
me, like the proverbial she-wolf. She kicked, turned and sliced my face
with razor talons until the blood I'd consumed earlier leaked from my skin
into my eyes. Her jaw snapped open and closed. Dangerous incisors sliced
into my hand. Her hell- fire eyes blazed. She was strong, but I was
stronger. Luciano was right about that. The males have to be, he said,
otherwise, given the way things are, the females would maim us and we
never would mate...
