Scenes from the Cutting Room Floor
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Material pertaining to: The Devil and Deep Space (Roc, 2002), Susan R. Matthews
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Introduction

These are clippings from the 1994 draft of The Devil and Deep Space, the next Koscuisko novel. There are some minor continuity differences between this draft and the one I turned in to ROC that I didn't bothered to correct; these scenes still fit in with the 2001 draft. The Devil and Deep Space will be available in November, so we'll see how many scenes made it to the final cut!

In this scene, Andrej Koscuisko is leaving his going-away party at the beginning of the novel, preparatory to leaving on transport to Azanry. There is some rowdiness involved.

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The Text

Andrej Koscuisko rose up slowly from out of his chair in the staff room, plucking the paper-fish from off his head with a contemplative gesture as he did so. "Gentles, it seems my departure is to be accelerated, I did not realize that I had offended our Lieutenant."

Naturally he had done no such thing, as far as he had any indication, at least. But a man had to say something, else looking at his senior staff - seated all at the table, waiting to take their cues from his reaction, and each of them with an absurd Sarvaw fish-hat tied into place with the precision to be expected from senior medical staff - was going to give him the giggles.  TOP

They'd been trying to break his composure all week, and they had succeeded upon more than one occasion. Where they'd come up with the very idea of the fish-hats in the first place he didn't know, although he had a dark suspicion that Lek Kerenko had had something to do with it. Kerenko was Sarvaw. And Kerenko had friends in Gross Tissue Displacement.

"It was at Staff, three weeks ago," Gille Mahaffie suggested. "You'll remember, your Excellency, you were pretty emotional about your little run-in with her -"

Andrej was beginning to think that he knew where this was going, and he was very certain that he was going to regret having raised the issue once Mahaffie got there. "Yes, well, of course, a little precipitous, I shouldn't want to miss the mark, and she did ask me for something, before I was to leave."  TOP

Mahaffie would not be silenced, and spoke on over him smooth and unstoppable. "- she'd questioned the return rate on the injured-or-ill list after our little problem with the Curdiver camitollisis, and you asked her what she meant by challenging your medical protocols, and she said that it wasn't the protocol but the return rate that she wanted clarification on, and you told her to -"

In unison, now, everyone was caught up in the joke, and having too much fun with it for him to really grudge them their laugh at his expense.

"Go fish!"

Seven voices as one caroled out the damning phrase. Truly he had not really said it, not in so many words, but it was true that he had lost his temper, and he had wanted to say it. Andrej blushed crimson nonetheless. They knew too well how to discountenance him, it had been four years.

He did not think that he had told ap Rhiannon to go fish in the technical Dolgorukij sense. Although he'd certainly told enough other Command Branch officers to do so. Captain Irshah Parmin, in the middle of the battle of Suichylle, calling for his casualty count before they had had a chance to see to even so many as half of the casualties.

Too-eager local Bench authorities, when he'd been on any one of the special assignments with which Fleet had been so wont to bedevil him. Captain Griers Verigson Lowden, and to his bitter regret, because he had paid for each such lapse with blood and horror, and the pain of other creatures who were innocent of the war between them.

Captain Lowden was dead, Andrej reminded himself, firmly. Captain Lowden had been murdered by a Free Government insurrectionary in port Burkhayden more than half a year ago, and Andrej remembered the murderer in his prayers on the odd occasion when it occurred to him to pray. Lowden was dead, and he was on holiday, and Brevet First Lieutenant Jennet ap Rhiannon was expecting him down in Cleared Unsecured Dispatch.  TOP

"Oh, I will deal with you lot later." Setting his fish-hat down on the table in front of him, Andrej admired its splendid cheerful rudeness for one moment before he shook himself out of the joke and back into the real world. "Expect me when we hit Fibernag space, and don't take any questions from anybody on return rates. Do please ensure that none of Staff sees any of you with fish on your heads, it cannot but undermine authority, and so forth."

Oh, they had been waiting for this, then, and he had given them their opening, all unknowing. They pelted him with fragments of colored paper, fish-fins and fish-tails, driving him from the room with irrepressible ribaldry.

"Ah, your mother wades in fishponds!" Alika Sudipisct, his Chief of Pharmacy, and who would have thought that she would say such a thing, proper as she ever was? Yet his senior second, Gille Mahaffie, the man who had sat his watch for countless hours in his absence, was no less uncomplimentary.

"Be sure to let us know if you can find any minnows in home streams!"

Brushing the party favors off his shoulders as he went, Andrej fled the room for Cleared Unsecured Dispatch, trying not to hear the final taunts that followed him cheerfully as he went.

"And your sister likes fried fins!"

"And your uncle eats fish on marketing-days!"

"And your elder brother wears his first-born's fish-cap!"

"And your father thinks fish hatch from hen's-eggs!"

"And your mother's brother runs a hatchery!"  TOP

Smiling and nodding to people as he went, Andrej cleared his Section at last. He checked the time: he would have to hurry, now. There would be no time to go to his quarters, and retrieve the Bonds. He would have to explain when he got there, that was all.

What had she meant, a problem? Why should he be leaving immediately? Was it possible that he had actually told her to "go fish"?

He put the ghastly thought from him, with a shudder, and concentrated on getting down to Cleared Unsecured Dispatch to get an explanation for this sudden change in plan.

These next two scenes are in transit on board of a transport bound for Azanry. Andrej Koscuisko is attempting to prepare his Security for the experience that they are going to be facing, since there is no environment in Fleet that is anything like the one into which they are going. I'm including them here because there is some background about Azanry and Andrej's family in these scenes that didn't end up in the submitted draft.  TOP


Lek Kerenko knew that there was no reason for him to nurture his resentment, not even surrounded as he was here by the tangible evidence of over-lordly power. Wealth. Privilege. Power and wealth and privilege all built on a dense foundation of bodies - dead and dispossessed bodies, exploited and abused bodies, Sarvaw bodies, sacrificed through no fault or crime of their own to the bloody iron gods of Dolgorukij oligarchy. No fault past that of having been too slow to gauge the threat, that was. In that he could feel a sort of vindication in shared victimization; few peoples had responded to the Dolgorukij with the absolute degree of resistance that was the only thing that could stop the Aznir long enough to get their attention.

He was Sarvaw, the thrice-great-grandchild of an annexed people, and after more than two hundred Standard years the word for 'sarvaw' was still conjugated and declined as any other word-class related to property, in the Aznir tongue. Three hundred Standard years, and there was no word in Dolgorukij for 'sarvaw woman' that did not mean the same thing as "whore."

But his Excellency, Andrej Ulexeievitch Koscuisko, was Aznir. And not only Aznir, but Koscuisko, tracing his descent in the female line from the savage Chuvishka Kospodar himself; Chuvishka Kospodar, who had drowned children in the Scorriar River for the crime of having two Sarvaw parents, on the grounds that excess animals should be disposed of when young if there were not mines to work or markets in which to sell them.

And Andrej Koscuisko was carrying him deep into the icy heart of cruel Azanry, into the very embrace of the murderous goddess herself. He could not rise to his feet and decline the dread honor, because orders were orders, and he was bond-involuntary as well as Sarvaw - a slave twice over, even if only in his own heart. Koscuisko was an officer. Bond-involuntaries were not to controvert with officers.

Kerenko sat on a low padded bench and listened to Koscuisko talk, pacing slowly back and forth between the benches and the chairs. "There is this briefing package, it was sent a few months ago," Koscuisko was saying. "I have looked at it several times, now, with Mr. Stildyne, who would undoubtedly be asleep half-way through the sequence were it not for the fact that Mr. Stildyne does not at all ever sleep, or if he does has never been reliably reported to have done so. I, myself, have almost conquered sentiment, and to such an extent that it may be possible for me to view once more the companions of my childhood, without weeping."  TOP

Koscuisko was nervous, for all the cheerful flippancy of his language. At least two kinds of nervous, and perhaps so much as three; Kerenko knew the minute worried furrow of Koscuisko's forehead, a little crease between his light-haired eyebrows like the imprint of the edge of his Mother's thumb.

Koscuisko's Mother, Koscuisko's Holy Mother, was the bloody conquering goddess Azanry, the mother of all Aznir and the glad rewarder of Dolgorukij conquest. The Holy Mother of Koscuisko's youth was nothing to do with any honest Sarvaw.

Yet Kerenko could empathize heartily with Koscuisko's tension, if with little else. And Koscuisko had not been home in more than eight years, had not been home in fact since he had learned the secret to his own peculiar talent - for torture. Any man might well feel awkward to have been so long away from his family. For a man of Koscuisko's nature, haunted, hunted, horror-struck and horrifying, it might well be a journey back into a life too different to even recognize.

"Here we begin. This first portion we are all of course familiar with, in concept and in execution." The room's ambients dimmed progressively to almost total darkness, and the grapher started to engage in a Standard pattern almost too well known from sixteen of such.

The star-map, from the common perspective of the central Supicor Judiciary, presented as if the room in which they sat was a monstrous polar cap on that all-but-deserted world.

The standard progression in powers of eight to the eighth, with brief pauses to register common reference-points on the way: past Supicor Proper, out toward the massive Didigort Frond, through Orgafft Judiciary, past the Arutiphon clusters, all the way out to the Combine worlds.

Sarvaw was one of the outermost of the Combine worlds, and Kerenko knew her by the dusty blush of her atmosphere, and swallowed hard against his own emotion.  TOP

The sequence slowed as it had accelerated, stepping down again in exponential quanta: the vigorous young star of Fortigern with its linked worlds; the mines and the ship-yards of the Arakcheyek Particles; and the great glittering Edeslok Line that stood between the Combine and the Jurisdiction with the polite fiction of its Home Defense Fleet, the non-aggressive force, the token Fleet allowed a subject system under Jurisdiction.

"My brother Lev is on one of these ships, here," Koscuisko said, and a minuscule detail of light enlarged in chunky leaps of line and form to reveal itself as a battle cruiser, the rear flange of its carapace projected in the illusion of three-dimensionality precisely where Taller had set himself down. An elite craft, the best that money could buy, and why the Jurisdiction chose to believe that the Combine had no expansionist ambitions any more - having made peace with the Bench - was beyond Kerenko.

Anybody should be able to guess that the truth was quite otherwise, and the battle cruiser that Koscuisko was admiring was all the proof that anyone should need. It wasn't as though one had to be a Sarvaw to be able to see. The teeth of the ravening gar cut without respect to race.

"Well, no, perhaps not this particular craft, but one much like it. My grandfather served his duty to the Autocrat in the Home Defense Fleet, but it has lost somewhat in luster since postings to the Jurisdiction Fleet became available. It is still quite good enough of course for any younger brother. Or sibling, I should say, since not all families are so old-fashioned as that to which I was born."

Koscuisko himself had hoped against hope to be permitted to serve in the Home Defense Fleet, rather than that of the Jurisdiction; because Koscuisko was a surgeon, was a doctor, and there were few postings for medical personnel that were suitable for a man of Koscuisko's family's status. To Koscuisko's cost, only the rank of Ship's Surgeon would satisfy the self-image of the Combine as a proper placement for the son of the Koscuisko prince, for a man who was prince Inheritor to the Koscuisko familial corporation.  TOP

Koscuisko had not wanted to be Ship's Surgeon.

Because Koscuisko had feared the duties of Ship's Inquisitor, even before Koscuisko had come to understand the nature of his own passion.

If there was the ghost of a hint of wistfulness, of longing for lost innocence, it passed quickly enough. "Now here we come to the world of my origin, here is Azanry, we will perform the standard orbitals, of course. From here the family's propagandists have taken over. I am from the lower hemisphere by Standard referent, it is this land-mass, here, you see. It is most pleasant and temperate between the mountains and the River -" No hint of self-pity any more, and no self-consciousness, either. " - which is what we have been long accustomed to call this ocean of water. There are the mountains, and the lands beyond are grazing and the growing of grain, and then come the real mountains." And, of course, another River, or rather an inland fresh-water sea, the source of the rains that kept Koscuisko's home earth fertile even at higher altitudes.

"The 'real' mountains? Sir?" Ivish asked, his disbelief and confusion clear in his voice. "The contour's got to be, oh, it must be nearly an octave, and that's on the shoreside. And those other - big rocks - are -"

Ivish fell silent, as if unwilling to say the words. Koscuisko supplied the offensive qualification, cheerfully. "An octave and four again, yes, Mr. Ivish. It is where riding animals were first bred, and there are several religious Houses of great antiquity. We will be spending much of our visit - here."

A detail from the shoreside flank of those "real" mountains spun itself into a great looming presence filling the room, its holographic image embracing Ivish and Taller alike. Ivish looked queasy, in the blue-white light of the surrogate mountains; Ivish had been born and raised in a mud flat world, where the water table had been only a few eighths below the surface for sixteens Standard in any direction, where refuse had to be carefully treated above ground and where fabricated plankie was the most solid thing imaginable. Kerenko didn"t blame him for feeling a little nauseated at the prospect of those mountains.  TOP

Koscuisko, on the other hand, sounded too happy just to see those sharp stone slopes once more to even notice.

"We come to the section where my family is boasting of its fields under a pretense of orientation. This is Koscuisko land, Koscuisko fields. This is the holy grain." The fly-by had dropped down so near the surface that the pattern in the earth of cultivated earth and inhabited cities could be easily discerned, easily grasped by the eye.

The others might well take Koscuisko for generalizing, as the scan covered sixteen after sixteen of field and forest, city and estate.

Kerenko knew differently.

Koscuisko was not speaking metaphorically, or generalizing. It was the literal truth. Koscuisko's family owned a significant portion of this land, itself the second most significant land-mass on Azanry. And a substantial slice of Sarvaw's plundered flesh, as well, among sixteen or twenty-four other such substantial holdings on other Combine worlds.

There were families that were greater in the Combine than Koscuisko, Kerenko knew that - greater in wealth, greater in land. But very few indeed who could match his Excellency's family in wealth and age and history, and no eight holdings on Sarvaw and Kevchaya and Halipsest and Pariloc could match a single such holding on Azanry for prestige and political power.

"We will be considerably closer to a great deal of these, so we may safely pass over this part. The local folkways are to be exhibited next, see, here we have the various modes of dress, and typical Aznir merchants and farmers and weaving-women. I am holding the image here, because there is an important point to be made."  TOP

Dolgorukij did not put a great deal of emphasis on preserving old forms of dress, but the common forms were still different enough from uniform to look exotic. Soft cloth footgear and leg-wraps, boots and trousers. The ubiquitous apron of the women, with all of the wealth of meaning to be read behind each stitch; the elaborate embroidery that decorated the long vests that men were accustomed to wear beneath their dark sober coats. Who wore ruffled shirts, and how many rows of which sorts of needlework, some of it familiar to them all from long experience of wrestling Koscuisko into his nightshirt when he was too drunk to remember who they were.

It was the religious that Koscuisko had frozen on, however.

Sarvaw hated Dolgorukij religious even more than they hated the common run of Dolgorukij. It had been the religious who had encouraged, then excused, then indulged the crimes of the Aznir conquerors; and he would be expected to show respect to such. And he would show respect. He had no choice.

"These are the servants of the Holy Mother, in one degree or another. It is important to recognize them, or their behavior may seem to be a challenge to you. Which it will be, but there will be nothing of the personal, and they will only be surprised if offense is taken."

Koscuisko's people had set an array of religious before them, representative members of what Kerenko knew to be the dizzying number of Households serving a truly unfathomable quantity of Saints. There was no difference between the Saints and the group-gods of his own ancestral place, as far as Kerenko was concerned.  TOP

In fact he had more than once suspected that the Saints were simply the same as family gods and personal gods, each raped away from their own people and consumed whole by ravenous Azanry, the Devouring Mother. Nor would the Dolgorukij cultural imperative permit the dispossessed to hide their shame in silence; no, each debased and abused deity only re-appeared, suffocating in the livery of the slave-master and leashed in chains of liturgy, forced to choke out praises of the alien whore that had flayed them alive to serve her own absolute cult.

"Please notice that the men are wearing braids, and some have plaited beards. This is a unique privilege, for an Aznir male, because it signifies a greater closeness to the perfection of the Holy Mother. Men who wear hair on their face are not religious if there are no braids."

Kerenko did not like the Saints any more than he cared for Koscuisko's Holy Mother. The arrogance of the race could not be separated from the substance of the species, no, not even under the most extreme of circumstances.

"Men who wear the apron - here -" Koscuisko stepped close to one image, gesturing. " - are officers within the Households of their chosen Saints. Others are brothers-dedicate, and all of them may be most safely addressed as "cousin."

And the word was not exactly "cousin," not in Koscuisko's dialect. It was the word for the son of the elder brother of one's own grandparent, and "cousin" in such a sense meant superior as well as related. Koscuisko himself would not use such a word; the "cousin" that Koscuisko would use would be the "cousin" that signified the child of a younger brother of the mother of his father's father, and meant related but subordinate while deserving of special consideration and respect.

There was only the one word in Standard, however, unless it were to be qualified. Kerenko supposed that allowances would be made - for the others, at least. He was not at all sure that he would not himself be more prudent to be more precise.

The "cousin" that a Sarvaw was expected to use was the word for a philanthropic foster-parent with lots of money and plenty of children of her own, who had lifted one out of the sewer out of the goodness of her own heart and given one every advantage in life.  TOP

"Female religious are perhaps less difficult to identify, because they are not so much in the public. This fringed head-dress is an example, though not a sure sign. If you see a woman, and there is something about her to suggest that her hair is unbound -"

There was a female religious with her hair uncovered, one of the more severe Households clearly. Koscuisko wandered amongst the arrayed images, picking out details, sometimes not remembering that they would not always be sure precisely what he was looking at; and then forgetting, sometimes, to even mention what he was pointing at.

"- then you must suspect a sworn-sister. You must never raise your eyes to the forehead of a sworn-sister, do not make eye-contact, unless she speaks to you. And she will not speak to you, because we are the inferior sex, although the favor of a greeting may be extended to an outlander as a signal act of charity and self-abasement."

And if a sworn-sister snapped her fingers you were to touch the ground in gratitude - as being the dust beneath her feet - and follow her immediately, to perform whatever errand she might have in mind. Or whatever service. That was unlikely to happen to any of them, however.

"See, here is a peculiar collar, it suggests from the back a woman's hair. This one wears the thousand-plaits, short though they are, and these scarves are also considered to refer to the sign, although this Saint wears a shorn neck. Here is a woman of Saint Busonrab, she is the one whose apron-strings are laced down the back of the garment in this particular manner." Koscuisko was silent, for a long moment, gazing at the figure in question.  TOP

"Also this cousin, over before Pyotr, is of the house of Saint Dasidar Strategist. I had not noticed, Mr. Stildyne, I am surprised at myself. My sister Mayra holds the accounts of Saint Busonrab in our time, and of course my brother Mishka serves as the Strategist's Exemplar. That cousin with the red braids in his beard, he is of the Household of my own forename's Saint. My family is here before us, in fact, there is almost no need for the pictures later."

Their Saints were represented, was what he meant. Kerenko knew that. Taller could hardly be expected to. "Your family, sir? Your 'forename's' Saint? I don't understand, your Excellency."

Strolling toward the back of the room, a bemused expression on his all-too-Aznir face, Koscuisko seemed to have regretted raising the issue. "It is not important, Talle," Koscuisko assured the helmsman, giving his shoulder an affectionate shake. "All of my names have Saints attached to them, and there are many with the same name. One must be a religious professional, like my sister of Busonrab or my brother of Dasidar, to keep them sorted out." Stepping close behind Kerenko, Koscuisko paused, laying his hands on Kerenko's shoulders at the back in a quiet massage by way of an abstracted sort of a caress. "Is it time to drink, yet? Perhaps we should stop the sequences, because I am rambling."

Koscuisko knew quite well that there were tensions in Kerenko's Sarvaw heart about Aznir and Azanry. Kerenko could only trust that Koscuisko also knew that he did not hold it personally against Koscuisko, who was as close to humble - in some ways - as a man could get, and still be Aznir Dolgorukij.

"There is still his Excellency's family, and his Excellency's dogs, his Excellency's housing and his Excellency's house-staff to get through," Chief Stildyne rumbled, sounding considerably amused.

"Yes, you are right. And I want you all to be rested and attentive, because we will be staying at the Matredonat and at Chelatring Side, you will all need to know where the kitchens are." Koscuisko gave a final comforting pat to Kerenko's shoulders, obviously decided. "Very well. Again after sleep-shift, then, and that will give us plenty of time yet to rejoice in having nothing whatever to do, before we are to exit our vector. I am hungry. You may be hungry or not, as you like, but - Lek - someone has done us the kindness of stocking sweet-grainy kelats, in the second-stores, and there are crows-eyes and bride's-blood jelly, I saw it with these eyes."  TOP

Sweet-grainy kelats were the common treat of Combine nations from Grasslo Chello to Khevchaya, Sarvaw not excepted. Kerenko half-rose from his seat, scarce hoping - 'sweet-curdled, your Excellency?"

"And sour-curdled. Yes. Are you coming?"

Koscuisko was Koscuisko, and he was only Sarvaw. But there was but one race in the Dolgorukij Combine, when the Book of the Founder was consulted, even if they were not all Dolgorukij. The thick paste of the black crows-eye berry was equally and uniquely pleasant to Sarvaw and Aznir tastes alike, and when the jelly of the bride's-blood fruit was laid on sweet-grainy kelats only a thick clot of sweet-curdled stood between the native and absolute bliss. At such a moment the temporal world was as one with the Eternal, and nothing else even existed.

"I am right behind you, sir." Under the powerful influence of such an offered treat even a bond-involuntary might use the personal pronoun, and suffer no correction from his governor. "If his Excellency would be pleased to hurry."

Because Koscuisko was in danger of being run over, else.

"Good man. Mr. Stildyne, we will see you after starchcakes," Koscuisko waved, on his way out of the room.

There would be time enough to remember his grievances against Azanry later, Kerenko knew.

It would be too ridiculous to scorn the sweet merely because there had been bitter.  TOP

_________________________________________

If it were up to his choice in the matter Andrej Koscuisko knew that he would be just as content to leave the entire issue of his familial ties and speak nothing of them. For one, it was painful to him, especially where his father and his child were concerned.

For another, family was denied to bond-involuntaries. Although it might well be that his un-Bonded Security - Smath, Taller, Ivish - had chosen to forego such distraction, in their lives, Pyotr and Kerenko had been permitted no choice. Pyotr might have a family, somewhere, but if a man was not to be permitted to see them or to seek them out for the twenty-eight years that comprised his Bond, being reminded of the fact could bring only bitterness.

Kerenko had no family.

And Security Chief Stildyne - who was not bond-involuntary, of course - had obscure family troubles in his past to which Andrej had never heard him refer.

All things, therefore, argued for tact and reserve on his part on the question of his relations - and especially his son, his child, the priceless gift of the lady Marana, who was very unfortunately neither married nor pledged to him. Anton Andreievitch, by acknowledgment but without legal status as his son, a little blue-eyed child of eight whom he had never so much as kissed yet in his whole life - he had not been home in more than eight years.

Yes, a man would certainly prefer to keep this tangled mess quiet to himself, as of no interest - and possibly the source of pain - to the others.

And still these were his Security.  TOP

Not all of them Bonded, but all of them assigned to him, responsible during the planned four months of his leave for his safety, for his physical protection. It was their duty under Law to put themselves between his body and any hazard, and to take the killing blow themselves if there was no other way to stop its fall on him. Such people needed to know as much as he could tell them about his life, about his state of mind, about the environment in which they were to travel - anything to help them predict, detect, prevent a threat against his life.

From such people a man could have no secrets, for two reasons; one, that any secret could turn out to be the fatal one; and two, that if they were to die for him he clearly had no right to hold himself aloof from them, in any sense.

He was going to have to talk.

"Here is a place called the Matredonat," Andrej said to the room at large, setting the sequence to re-initiate. "It is where we paused, yesterday, and sought recreation and sweet-grainy kelats. We will go from the entry port first here."

The sequence scrolled them through a quick close aerial survey before the point of view dropped to ground level. A man could see how the avenues had prospered, in his absence, and admire the blue-gray slate of the new roof over the great hall. That was part of the point, of course; he was to appreciate how carefully those of his father's Household who had been attached to the Matredonat by force of tradition had husbanded his property, while he had been away.

"There is a knot-garden, here, that my seven-times-great-grandmother planted with her own hands for her oldest daughter. It is a self-sufficient estate, and until very few octaves ago still fielded its own militia."  TOP

He had spent his warm-seasons at the Matredonat since he had been blooded, when he had received the estate as a gift from his mother's family. It was certainly as antique and venerable to look at as anything at the great medical teaching center on Mayon, where he had been to school, all great granite walls and tall glassed-in garden-doors and the shadowed arches of its cloistered walks. He wondered what his Security would make of it all.

"Now, these are living quarters. This ship's-bay of a room is actually a bathing-place, and a little further on - here, yes - this large padded raised exercise area is actually a bed. One is expected to sleep in it. Notice the identifying characteristics, there are steps up and fabric curtains all round, these distinguish it from the practice-mat."

On shipboard one slept on rather less spacious an area, and Andrej could still remember how difficult it had been for him to adjust to Fleet-issue sleepracks at Fleet Orientation Station Medical. Of course, he had had a great deal on his mind, with which to worry his resthours away to nothingness.

"Washing is more frequently done in a basin or a tub, as you see here, than under a water-jet. You will not be permitted to clean any of your own clothing. Nor will you be allowed to assist the house staff in any way, not unless you are specifically invited to do so. You will only insult people, if you offer."

Seeing the familiar settings yet again, after being away for so long, had at first given him a very uncomfortable sense of dislocation. The man he had become, the man he was, could have nothing to do with the man that he had been, the last time he had slept at the Matredonat. It was a struggle to reconcile his sense of fractional selves, and he was not yet certain that it would work at all.

Of course he had specific reason for taking the home leave now after so many years. Stildyne knew some of those reasons already. And there were things he had to do that he could only get accomplished from the center of his father's world, in the bosom of his family.  TOP

"They have indulged themselves in whimsy, here, because of course these are animals. They are - first - these mashounds, and the one with the cataract in her right eye and the grizzled muzzle may even be my little Shubenca, who was scarcely half so big when I last saw her." Mashounds would live to see their fifteenth year, and grew to be nearly as tall - taken all in all - as he was. Since he was not tall. "Yes, Maut, there is a problem?"

Maut Ivish was looking a little alarmed, which amused Andrej, coming from Security. Ivish was accustomed to handling much nastier problems than a mere mashound during the every-day course of his daily life, and Andrej knew how competent Ivish was to handle nasty problems, because he himself was the nastiest of them. "His Excellency's -'little' - Shubenca? With respect, sir, those teeth look as long as my forefinger. And the neck and shoulders don't look particularly dainty. Sir."

It was a point. "Perhaps not. If you were to see one of the wild tuskers, or even a small few of dire-wolves, it might explain a mashound very comprehensibly. The first time I went to the hunt of wild tuskers I came home convinced that no three mashounds could be fierce enough even taken together to reassure me. I promise you will find her reasonable, if only you do not presume to much."

Actually he had also been convinced that he had either enjoyed himself wonderfully, or been terrified out of all sense and reason, or perhaps both at the same time. "We continue. These beasts, you may learn to ride. They used to comprise our primary transport, in our history, when fuel for powered movers was still hard to come by, and had to be hoarded against the day of need."

None among his Security seemed to trust themselves to venture a comment, as they stared around at the mountain kleviots who seemed to move across the room. Andrej was amused; kleviots probably did look rather odd, especially to people accustomed to automated transport.

It was not so much their size, though they were easily half again as tall as the mashounds of the previous sequence. The great black heavy curled horns of the rams and yowes alike were splendid to behold; and their dainty little feet with those pretty little cloven hooves seemed scarcely proportionate to their size.  TOP

Then again - Andrej reminded himself - perhaps it wasn't their awesome aspect, or the splendor of their close-shorn curly coats, that had so effectively silenced his Security. Perhaps it was the sight of riding-harness and guiding reins, bit and halter and saddle, and his threatened suggestion that they might learn to ride them. Their gait did take getting used to, and even for accomplished riders a long day mounted could be tiring.

"Although I myself have not ridden in years. Obviously." Perhaps a reassurance was in order. Perhaps he should simply hurry on. "There is one more thing of note at the Matredonat, and they have sensibly put it at the end, because it is the one of critical importance. They could not show very directly, because of tiresome points of protocol which I refuse to frustrate us all by trying to lay out before you. It is just this, here, where they have it seems gone back to show the walk at the side of the canal, with the maiden-trees."

He had not yet quite got used to this part, although he had played it through for himself time and again since its arrival. There, come walking down between the black trunks of the rustling trees, their flexible green branches flowing like a maiden's hair from the crowns of their stately canopies to the ground, and blowing in the breeze from the canal -

"This woman is named Marana, and you should say to her "respected Lady," which means she owns the best of my good-will and yet has no title to my father's name. And the child is named Anton; Anton Andreievitch, which signifies the son of a man named Andrej, which is to say myself. He is my child, and I have never met him -"  TOP

He did not think he had discussed this aspect of his life with his Security, ever. With Stildyne perhaps, perhaps. And it was also perhaps technically true that - as Two had tattled to Mendez - he was father in the general sense to other children as well. Those were different. Land-pledges belonged to their mothers and to their pledged fields and to the Holy Mother, and his part in their engendering had been the dutiful submission of a son of Azanry to their divine Genetrix. Marana was different. Anton was different.

Anton was his child, and to see the child - oh, a little boy, eight Standard years old - walking with his mother and playing with the loose tresses of the trees nearly staggered him with his sense of grief and loss, to have not even met him, in all of this time.

"And, your Excellency," Pyotr's dark deep quiet voice had always been calming, to him, even in the throes of worse torment. "This child, if we are to greet him, what language are we to use?"

He'd had the best of reasons for not going home. He knew that he would only have poisoned that bright little life by merely looking on it with the same eyes that had rejoiced so in the nightmare of torture and agony that was his craft and his most especial talent. He knew that he only dared to risk it even now because he was sure to die in the near future. None of these sensible considerations could stand against the power in the child's confident stride to move his heart and drown him in shame for his long neglect.

"It will be permissible to call him by his two names, Anton son of Andrej. But perhaps it would be better to use 'young gentleman,' instead. Thank you, Pyotr."

He had not neglected either Anton or Marana in the material sense, no, he had installed her as the chatelaine of the Matredonat with powers of contract and quittance, and no-one - not even his own parents - could touch her, interfere with her, where she was. He had sent letters, when he had been capable of composing a decent message. He had sent gifts, and he had sent money. He might as well have denied her his house and the child his name: it had been eight years, and he had never even seen him. Not in person. Not in any way that mattered.  TOP

"Oh, let us go on. Yes. Here is Chelatring Side." The people who had prepared this Security orientation - ostensibly for his use - had not spent too long in the sequence, on Marana, or it might have become too obvious for familial respect for the proper forms to let it pass unchallenged. The sequence shifted, and none too soon for Andrej. So intense a feeling, for such a little man - it confused as well as shaming him, in his knowledge of his own failings. He could not bear more of it than they had sent.

"This is not Rogubarachno, where I was born. We come to my ancestral place during the early part of the winter, and in the winter we go up to the mountains. It makes little sense, but there are traditional reasons."

His father's Household spent the warm seasons at Rogubarachno, set deep within the glittering gold of black-bearded grain on the lower plains. When winter came they moved into the mountains. Once it had been for protection against raiding parties; then it had been because of the need to patrol the wide white slopes of the snowy foothills to prevent too many wolves from preying upon livestock in the lowlands. Now it was more a matter of habit and tradition than anything else, though there was usually at least one hunting-party between the first storms - the annual Cloak of Saint Shovan, dependable and ferocious - and the final fury of Saint Aestwar Engraver, patroness of blessings-in-disguise.

The sequence that had been sent was from the previous season, because Chelatring Side was widely held to be displayed at its best under three eights of snow. It was true that the gentle mounds of glistening snow in late-season drift smoothed out the sharp contours of the rock, and made the fortress - for that was what it had been - seem more a part of the grim peaks around it, than a huge stark alien imposition on the landscape. The bright lights from the fortress' watchtowers looked welcoming and homely, to Andrej; there was no telling what it might look like to the others.  TOP

"This house is called Chelatring Side because it suckles at the bosom of Chetalra. There are hints that Chetalra may have been a goddess, once, but such hints are considered to be in excess liberal by the Holy Mother and all of her Household. Except -" there was a point, and perhaps now would be as good a time as any to make it. "Except there are the Malcontents. Saint Andrej Malcontent, prince and martyr, and it is said that among the many questionable aspects of the Malcontent's Household is a carefully qualified suspicion that not only might there once have been Goddesses other than the Holy Mother, it is not outside the realm of fantasy that the Goddess may actually have been male. It is better not to speak of such things. Not even the Malcontent can always protect his slaves."

He wanted them to have heard about the Malcontent, because it might become important. Stildyne had heard a little bit about the Saint already; but not the most important bit for the present circumstances. And he also did not want them to lose their concentration; and Pyotr Micmac, for one, was easily staggered, in matters of religion.

"Here are outbuildings, estate installations, the ancient funicular. At this point I wish to make it clear that no-one will be expected to ride in the funicular. Although it is perfectly safe - it has been years since we lost a car to the mountain."

He was babbling, and he knew it. He was nervous, and they knew it, they kept the watch while he slept, and awakened him from dreams. For some obscure reason his Security had taken it upon themselves to guard him from his own Furies; and these had been somewhat more active, recently, under the strains of his approaching visit. He was not looking forward to seeing his parents, and he did not even like his brother Iosev, although he tried not to hold that against Iosev's wife. He didn't like Iosev's children, what he knew of them. And he anticipated scenes with the woman to whom he was betrothed. The whole thing made him distinctly of two minds about his leave, and the guilt that he felt on account of the child touched quite naturally on other guilts which - if they were not greater in degree - were unquestionably far superior in number.

He had hoped to have gotten past the worst of the dreaming, once he had decided to die; indeed, there had been few dreams, if any, for the first months after port Burkhayden. But they had come back to him. And Security had been there, to wake him from the worst of it, and indulge him by pretending to be interested in playing relki while his sleepshift wore on wakefully toward morning. Why did they do it? They simply always had. Joslire Curran, at Fleet Orientation Station Medical. Joslire and St. Clare, among others, on Scylla.  TOP

The quiet somber image of Joslire in his mind reminded him of something that might actually pertain. "There is a point to be made, here. No-one carries weapons under the roof of the Koscuisko prince without explicit leave. We will be expected to disarm ourselves, first thing, before we may enter the great house, and I bid you gentles all to divest yourselves of all your external weapons without rancor. I myself rather look forward to the look on housemaster Ekofrit's face when I lend Joslire's five-knives into his custody."

Their external weapons they could surrender without prejudice; Security could never really be said to be unarmed. Not stark naked, not drunk, not even asleep, never. Housemaster Ekofrit and Security Chief Stildyne should understand each other. And the weaponsmaster would lust fiercely, in his heart, after the five-knives that Joslire had given him, because Emandisan five-knives could not be purchased at any price.

Perhaps it was not the same because Joslire had been enslaved as Pyotr and Kerenko were - bond-involuntary; a man without title to his own name.

Perhaps the authorities would eventually demand the five-knives back, on grounds of the expiration of their Bond.

They could demand Joslire's five-knives all they liked. They were not getting them back. Joslire had given them to him.

Every time he noticed the scar on the back of his right hand - where the blade had pierced his hand and Joslire's hand together - he could remember Curran's dying words as vividly as if Joslire still lay bleeding in his arms. The coughing, as he brought up blood from his ruined lungs. The rasping note of determination, desperate to finish the phrase out before he died. My blood, your blood. To the end with thee, my master, and beyond.  TOP

Stildyne cleared his throat, very formally, and Andrej realized that he had wandered in his thoughts, and was keeping people waiting - quite other than his original intent. He wanted to finish this briefing in an expeditious manner, he wanted them all to get a good rest before they made planetfall.

"Yes. Ah. Excuse me. There is really only the grand-house yet to get through, and the pictures of pertinent people. Here we go up the master walk into the grand-house of Chelatring Side, as we will not on our first instance, as I have explained. It was most carefully constructed to rest upon the living rock, these risers are part of the mountain itself."

The master walk, three eights wide in a great grand sweep of gray granite rock, fourteen eights long. The master gate of Chelatring Side's grand-house, less formidable than the entrance gate, but much more splendid, with time-smoothed stone left in its original state to suggest the image of great power and abiding strength rather than allude to it directly. The common-hall, with its twinned open fire-nooks, each the size of the fasterthan they were traveling in. The state staircase, at the far end of the common-hall. And posed upon the state staircase, in formal dress, forbidding and distant -

"These are my mother and my father." He could not quite keep an even tone of voice; there was too much emotion in the very concept, for a man raised Dolgorukij, and the anguished resentment he had long cherished against his father's choice of a Fleet posting on top of it. For years he had told himself that his father was at fault, somehow, for what his life had become, since - despite all of Andrej's most abject pleas - he had been sent to Fleet after all.  TOP

It had only been lately that he had begun to really understand that his father had nothing to do with it.

And the idea that one's parent truly did not control one's destiny was almost more traumatic than his earlier rage and despair had been. Dolgorukij were supposed to be filial. It practically defined the race.

"You may never see these people, and, if you do, they will probably not speak to you. I expect to have some conflicts with them. It is hard for a child of my family to have a conflict with a parent. It is not done."

Why bother to explain? They could not possibly understand. Or they more probably did not care at all, not about why there was a problem. He had better go on. "This is actually a posed-piece, as you can see. By way of a painting or other visionage. Since there was no way to tell exactly who would view this orientation with me it is clearly impossible for them to move, or speak, because to me they would speak in a manner quite different than to others. Mr. Stildyne, am I again incoherent?"

Stildyne had been standing at the side of the room, next to where Pyotr sat. He straightened himself to attention, being spoken to, but his reply was diplomatically indirect, and addressed to his troops rather than to Andrej himself.

"Unlike any Fleet posting you've ever seen this environment shares almost no common ground with anything we've encountered before. There will be a need for extreme caution." Translated it meant yes, your Excellency, you have strayed from the point, but it's my point to make - not yours - so it doesn't so much matter. With respect. Sir. "We'll all need to be careful not to discount the dangers we may face simply because it's a little too unusual for comfort."

In other words, the threat of the knife was not to be ignored simply because it was so simple a weapon. "Thank you, Mr. Stildyne. And now unless anyone wishes to sit through the whole sequence yet again perhaps we should go eat."

In less than a single Standard day they would make Azanry space, and come to ground.

From then it would only be a matter of hours before he could hold his child in his arms.  TOP

"Dismiss, Mr. Stildyne," Andrej suggested, knowing that Security was too polite to simply stand up and walk out on their own under so small an influence as a suggestion.

Stildyne would head them out, and off to mid-meal.

For himself Andrej wanted very much to be simply left alone with his turbulent thoughts.

— End —


This page updated 3 November 2002
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Maggie M. Nowakowksa