Carnivores in Support of Vegetables
Thaddeus T. Molitor
Professor of Logical Science
February 21, 2002
We, the true humans, opportunistic carnivores extraordinary, consumers of all manner of meats, declare our support of vegetables, their right to existence, and their right to self-determination.
Vegetables are alive. This much has been established as scientific fact. They consume energy, reproduce, and react to their environment.
Vegetables are the only food consumed by humans that is routinely eaten alive. Indeed, many vegetables, in the form they are consumed, could be planted, nourished with sunlight, water and minerals and produce not just one plant, but hundreds.
Vegetables are known to have electrical activity present in their tissues. This is seen as evidence of neural activity by some physiologists. Indeed a potato has such strong electrical activity it can run a small motor. Therefore, plants can feel pain as we bite into them or throw them into boiling water.
Vegetables are known to communicate with each other and with other animals. Their ability to attract insects by chemical and visual stimuli is well documented. Plants may even be talking to us. We simply do not know how to listen. However, they can listen to us. It is well known that talking kindly to plants improves their growth, vigor, and resistance to disease.
Who are we, then, to simply dismiss plants as non-living or to draw some line between them and other creatures.
Vegans and Vegetarians claim to be dominant in the hierarchy of life because they consume only living tissues of plants and avoid the flesh and products of animals. Though they claim to care about 'living' things, they reject the fact that plants live and pay no heed to the cries and screams of their victims.
As a Carnivore, I claim moral superiority!
At least my meat is dead when I eat it!
I acknowledge its life in the act of the kill and honor its death that I may live.
Humans are predatory by nature. We must accept this fact. We eat other organisms, plant or animal. This is what we are. The hypocritical vegetarian movement is yet another attempt by aliens to influence our culture and hold us back from intergalactic space. Their appeals to not eat meat, to care for "Mother" Earth, to think globally and act locally are only thinly veiled attempts to suppress our predatory nature and keep us planet-bound.