You love her. Or (more likely at this point) you hate her. Who is she? Why was she created? Who owns her? —and more importantly, who's responsible for her? Why does she do the things she does?

All excellent questions. Whether you're here to beat her to a pulp or to pat her on the back, read on for the history, the story, the full-on tomato that is our Mary Sue.

1. Philosophically Speaking . . .
As many of you may know, Mary Sue Whipple made her first forays in the world of fanfiction on the Godawful Fan Fiction Message Board—a subset of the Godawful Fan Fiction site (at that time, Godawful Trek Fan Fiction, which is why so much of Whipple's stuff is based in Trek).

If one looks into the dark history of the Godawful message board, one finds that Mary Sue first came about to keep the board going (or the bored going, as the case may be). More specifically (and for people who want someone to blame, here's the answer), I was dead worried that a highly entertaining board I'd had the pleasure of inaugurating with a huge and wondrous flamewar would go kaput. So I started a game. Posters to the board could participate in a round-robin writing collaboration to make the worst piece of fic possible. I thought writing badfic was going to be fun, maybe educational, definitely an excuse for people to come and post often—so I started it all off with a title, a forward, and a name.

Mary Sue Whipple. I took the 'Mary Sue' bit from the popular literary term, first dubbed in fanfic circles in the sixties. It was such a popular term, and useful to boot, that the name spread, and today even the professional writing/publishing business uses it to describe a particular phenomenon in fiction. (For a more thorough discussion of this, try Dr. Merlin's Guide to Fan Fiction.) The Whipple bit . . . well, I thought it sounded silly, and it fit well. It was only later that I discovered that there was an X-Files fanwriter of the same last name and middle initial; the use of her last name is not a comment on her writing, but rather a sad accident.

(No one's ever written about this, but it's been on my conscience for eons. If I can't write it here, where can I? This is not a problem easily solved by the Dear Abby column.)

As much fun as I thought writing badfic was, I didn't expect the game to take off like it did. Heck, I didn't expect it to last as long as it has, and I certainly didn't expect MSW to branch off into every fandom she could wrap her tentacles around. In some ways, I'm glad she has—it allowed many different people to experience the fruits of her labors.

But seeing as how it looks like she's here to stay for a while, it's time I stopped using paper plates and making her sleep on the couch—it's time I thought about what she is, or at least, what she is to me. Take the following with a grain of salt and in strict IMO-mode. As the creator and one of the original authors of Mary Sue, it's my right to lay down what I consider to be the truth of the matter—other authors also have the right to dive in and tell me I'm wrong, wrong, and more than wrong. But believe it or not, I care about MSW. I care about how people perceive her, and I care about her future well-being. This essay is really the second draft of one I wrote long ago, expanded and twiddled for a general audience.

Remember, before you flame: This took some thought, but it's my thought, and my ideas about the universe don't need to coincide with anybody else's. That's what my psychiatrist told me, anyway, before he put me on Thorazine.

2. "The Fox!
There's only one of me
Till suddenly there's two of me
When two is what you see of me
Gadzooks! Three of me."
Mary Sue Whipple, as a character, is your typical bad fanwriter. She's ageless, really, as all lousy fanfic is, but she's canonically too young for the stuff she's writing. She loves feedback, the more glowing and worshipful, the better. She's prolific, without a doubt; double that with a weak grasp of the English language, and Mary Sue is a force to be reckoned with. She inserts herself into her stories whenever possible—otherwise, she twists the actual players into strange versions of herself, with her agenda and her ideas firmly in mind. Heck, she'll do both, just because she doesn't know any better.

That's really the big thing about MSW: She doesn't know that she's a bad writer. No one's ever bothered to give her real critique-style feedback (few fanwriters ever receive such, drat it—the quality of fanfic today would be better for a few tough critiques), so she takes the less-than-kind feedback as flames, and glories in the rest of it.

That's the character of Mary Sue.

The reality is, Mary Sue ain't real. She's a collective entity, as I mentioned above—she, or rather, her fanfiction, is composed by people who are, in other circumstances, good writers, or by people who are simply tired of the lousy fanfic currently out there, and need to vent some spleen.

Her fiction is parody. Not just bad, horrible stuff, but real parody—all fanfiction gets mocked and exulted in. (Much of Mary Sue's stuff is parody of original professional-level fiction as well, come to think of it—no prose escapes our notice.) No, it won't be understood by all—but that's the way it goes. Even explaining her to the nth degree, with a complete FAQ and quotes from A Modest Proposal, will not clear up the confusion she and her fanfic creates. In the end—kudos to those who get it, pity for those who don't. That's the way the cookies crumble.

(Already I can hear the gasps and shrieks of outrage. Maybe you're someone who doesn't think Mary Sue is funny. Maybe you hate her fic with a passion unknown to modern man. That's okay. You don't have to like her. Hate her all you want. Flame her until she's a pleasant crispy flavor. I will even be giving you reasons to set her ablaze, in the very next essay section. For now . . . watch your heart rate, and try to take deep, measured breaths. A bit of chocolate would also not be amiss.)

There's a fine line between Mary Sue the character, and Mary Sue the reality—and I think it's one that shouldn't be crossed. Just because Whipple writes loads of absolute garbage does not mean that the writers of Whipple should feel obliged to produce the same. That this line was crossed multiple times not-so-long-ago does not mean this is all Mary Sue is, was, and should be.

Yes, her stuff's shit.

But it should be good shit, man.

3. Frequently Asked Question: What's to Hate?

What is all this?:
This is an essay written to try and salve the reputation of Mary Sue.

I've heard you don't like FAQs:
True, I don't. I don't like FAQs whose sole purpose is to try to tell people why they're wrong for hating Mary Sue (as previous incarnations of a MSW FAQ have been. IMO. YMMV). I find that slightly pretentious and anyway, it's not likely to work. People are allowed to hate her and her fiction, for any reason they want. Except one.

If you're going to get all snippy about why or why not to hate her . . . :
I'm not, honest. There are plenty of good reasons to dislike Mary Sue intensely: She's not funny. She's a bad joke gone on too long. Her fiction is mean and unhelpful and a waste of space. It's okay if you think all this. You have the right to free speech just as much as I do. But there is that one thing I don't want people hating her for—something I had no control over, and therefore, neither did my poor Whipple character (and as a dear friend of mine once pointed out, one wants to be flamed for one's actual vices).

So what's this one thing you don't like?:
Specifically, "Whipple's" behavior on FanFiction.Net, which I found to be stupid, disrespectful, and completely unnecessary. Revenge reviewing was not part of my vision for Mary Sue. Filling up the available space with badly-written badfic (not as entertaining as perhaps it sounds) was not something I thought was worthy of her. And most especially, I want to disassociate from Mary Sue the petty behavior of one member of the writing collaborative, who had been the self-appointed MSW of FanFiction.Net—due to a personal argument with the owner of FF.Net, she removed all Mary Sue content (without asking and/or mentioning it to any of the other authors) and declared herself the One True Mary Sue (likewise without consultation or notification of any other author). I wasn't even a witness to these events; I only heard second hand, months after the fact, and not from her.

The fact of the matter is, like any character a writer creates, I like Mary Sue. I don't want to write in an environment where people will already despise her, not because she writes badly, but because she's behaved badly—

Whipple with a bad name because she writes badly—that's fine. Whipple with a bad name because she's been a complete bitch far too often in recent memory—that is not fine. And that is precisely the situation that one Whipple author has put me and my creation.

Me, miffed about this? You bet.

So . . . why didn't you do something about this before it all happened?:
That answer's so lengthy, it gets its own essay section.

4. "Consult, v.t. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on."
I created Mary Sue Whipple. She was my game, and I made her to be enjoyed by any and all who, for whatever reason, wanted to write godawful garbage. Sometimes therapy can be derived from allowing yourself to be bad. Sometimes you just need to get all the rotten fanfic you've read out of your system. Some great MSW fic has been written by groups and by single people—heck, one of Mary Sue's poems even made it into one of the published Star Trek books. I'm really happy that I created her.

But I never wanted to own her.

I still have trouble expressing what I mean by this. I always wanted Whipple to be a pen name anyone could use, without having to consult me or pass by my weird standards or even, for that matter, ever telling me. Say you write under the name Jimison. One day you snap, and write something godawful. If you wanted to, you could sign it as Mary Sue Whipple. Why? Because Mary Sue is a lousy fanwriter, and everyone knows it.

Maybe (read: probably) this was big-headed of me. If you write badfic, you should be allowed to sign it with your own name. But I wanted to give people the option to sign with MSW, if they wanted. Perhaps I (or those representing her on the net) never made this clear; my fault. Here's another reason for writing this essay: I'm calling Mary Sue Whipple an open pen name. Take, write, enjoy.

There was a problem, however, with my not declaring Mary Sue in the name of Spain. If I didn't openly express my ownership of her . . . that meant someone else could.

(Today's creative quote: "If I don't control this, other people will control it for me." -friends of singer Pat Benatar, on her thoughts about her onstage sex kitten persona. Gosh. The things one sees when insomnia beckons. Never again, VH1, never again.)

Consider, for a moment, Linux. An open-source program (that means that the programming code can be read and used by anybody; imagine if you could see how your favorite video game was put together. Like that). Mary Sue Whipple is like Linux—you know how she's put together, and anybody can use her.

However, Linux is owned by the guy who invented it. He doesn't have to get cash for it; he doesn't have to directly control what people do with his program. But. If someone has a Linux program, they can't say it's theirs.

When I said I didn't want to own Mary Sue, I didn't consider the idea that someone might take her and mess about with her in ways I didn't like; since I didn't claim her, I couldn't say, "Yo, quit that." This is a problem, and one that makes me feel hypocritical along with everything else. I can almost hear myself saying, "Hey, when she's being well taken care of, she's everybody's, but the second she's mistreated, she's mine."

Ugh. Not a line I like to use. But a true one anyway. What, you may ask, do I consider to be misuse of Mary Sue?

--Claiming ownership that doesn't exist. Ladies and gents, despite all I've said to the contrary in the past, I'm making it clear now: She's mine. My character, my joy, my bountiful feast of delicious apricot tarts. Only out of the kindness of my own heart (and because of the honest belief that no one would mistreat her name), I'm giving her pen name away for free. That does not mean I don't own her. Even when I was being squishy on the subject, other people sure as hell couldn't own her. I'm referring directly here to the FanFiction.Net Whipple author who declared herself Mary Sue. The quick answer: No, she wasn't. Nor is she right now. Nor do I plan to let her be any time soon. There is no one single real Mary Sue Whipple, thank God, and I doubt there will ever be one.

--Misconceptions about her conception. Telling people how she was born is extremely cool (especially 'cause, y'know, my name has to be plastered all over the story). Telling people lies and damned lies is a bad thing, especially when you know the truth of the matter. Here, I refer to the Writer's University website, wherein a false history of MSW simple beginnings is given (and her creation story is not one I'm shy about—I give it any time anyone asks about Mary Sue in my hearing). Though E. is a wonderfully humorous and intelligent poster on the Godawful board, E. did not start Whipple with me (though at this point, I wouldn't mind the company . . .). Neither did anyone else. There were a number of people who enthusiastically joined in the fun, but that ain't the same. So stick to the truth, and lo, there shall be much joy.

--Badly-written badfic. I've said it before (in this very essay, as a matter of fact) and I'll say it again: It's not necessary, and it's no fun to read. The fast-and-easy summary: It's not enough to just be bad. Like anything else, Whipple actually requires effort and, Roddenberry save us, talent. If you haven't the talent . . . well, sucks to be you. Them's the breaks. If you don't actually work at it, though . . . then you're producing the same garbage that Whipple is meant to ridicule. Which is no fun.

--Personality outside of story. This may seem like an odd one. Writing Mary Sue is tough enough—no one should attempt to be her. This is a sin I've committed twice: first, by writing the Mary Sue Whipple webpage, and second, by responding to people in the guestbook there. The webpage I consider to be another form of parody, so I don't feel very bad about that. However, responding in the guestbook isn't really necessary, so I've stopped. Mary Sue is to be understood by what she's written—her pen name is not to be treated like another internet pseudonym. Someone, using her name, should not go about giving interviews, or posting reviews, or chatting up strangers she meets on the street. It's too easy to forget that you're representing not just yourself, but an entire collaboration of authors. It's too easy to forget that you are not Mary Sue.

--Archives other than the official. There is one Mary Sue archive. I've got it. Why? Because her stories shouldn't be lost. Otherwise, there's no other reason. At one point someone created another archive within FanFiction.Net, without asking me. I was okay with it, because any site needs a mirror. It bothered me that people were posting directly to the FF.Net account, but I figured, hey, I'm a slow updater — how could it hurt. After the account went kaput (without anyone asking me about that either—there's a trend here), Writer's University started another archive, again without informing me. Stories can be given directly to the WU archive, without coming to mine. There's even a rule imposed: all stories must be posted at Godawful first before they can be accepted. Huh? My Mary Sue never had rules (she had common sense).

Why do I have problems with more than one archive? Because it comes down to that ownership thing again. Even when I wasn't claiming her . . . she's mine. I don't appreciate (and frankly, didn't expect) people sliding in and trying to take part-ownership by running another archive. I mean, damn; she was my idea . . . can't you come up with your own neat idea? One that doesn't entail me watching a character I created be despised by fandom for things she shouldn't have been doing in the first place? This probably makes no sense whatsoever. Oh well. Call this the one loony problem I have; humor me.

5. "No, too long, let me sum up."
So why did I write this website again? Because I'm deathly afraid that certain actions committed by someone other than myself while using Mary Sue's name may have completely ruined Whipple's image. I want to start over. Hell, I still want to write Mary Sue Whipple stories—but I don't want to get flamed all to hell and gone for the wrong reasons. So if your only encounters with MSW up to this point have been with the person using the Whipple name on FanFiction.Net, or (less likely) you're hearing about Mary Sue Whipple for the first time, here's the be-all end-all of what Mary Sue is—and if it ain't listed here, or elsewhere in this essay, then it's probably an embellishment by the people who haven't been treating her right (I'm expecting the sad country music to cue in any moment now).

--Mary Sue's supposed to be funny. Since humor is one of the most difficult things to write, it's easy for us to mess this up. If you don't think she's funny . . . write a funny MSW story. Even if you said you hate her, we won't care. Good writing (even of badfic) will let us forget anything you may have said in the past.

--Mary Sue's supposed to be bad. If you've complained in the past that her stuff is godawful garbage . . . well, to a point, it's supposed to be. There are some bits of her fiction I do not consider to be up to her quality of bad, but the majority of those got snuffed when the FF.Net account died. For good examples of her lousiness, try any of her big Star Trek stories (available on her website), or her two X-Files stories (available on Gossamer, and, shortly, on her website).

--Mary Sue's supposed to be for everyone. If you want to borrow her name, take, do, have fun. You don't need to tell me, you don't need to tell Godawful, you don't need to send a copy to the archive. Mind you, it would be nice if you did—we all love Mary Sue a great deal, and would enjoy reading new material. But if you really don't feel like it . . . well, have fun anyway. However—

If, for any reason (although I'll probably explain in some long-winded fashion), I think you're hitting one of those no-no Mary Sue things (like archives, or claiming ownership, etcetra and so forth), then I get to say, "Yo, quit that." If people persist in doing something I don't wanna let 'em do, then I get to scream bloody murder. Well, that, and openly protest it in every venue I can get my grubby mitts on, and probably write another essay, and generally be a pain in the offender's ass. Gosh.

So here's the bottom line: Try her again. Forget what someone using her name may have done in the past. Write your own Whipple stories. Enjoy her.

And drop us a line if you have the chance.