Title: _The Night the Ship Exploded and Everyone "Did It"_
Author: Mary Sue Whipple
Series: Voy
Rating: NC-17 (het & Slash)
Codes: P/T, P/f f/Elmo C/f K/f J/K Everyone/Everyone J/f
Summary: Everything goes awrong leading to the ship having a giant orgy, exploding and having elmo and the EMH the only ones who survive.

Disclaimer: Hi!! I don't own these characters, but I thought a regular disclaim would be boring, so I decided to write it all to the tune of Voyager's themesong. Thanks to Cutegrrl for the idea!! ++wave!++

I . . . don't own
these people
they're not mine
I don't want them
don't want them
at all

I'm not rich
though I wish I was
cause then
I
could buy them all
buy them all
for che-e-eaaaapp.

How I wish
that Paramount
would call me
and say I needn't
say I needn't
woooorrrrryyy.

But I'm not rich
And Paramount
won't call me
so I'm disclaiming
disclaiming
this fic, fic, fic . . .

Sorry!! What can I say, I love Voyager!, especially the music (but not as much as Neelix!!)

Thanks: I'd like to thank my best friend Julie, who is also my twin sister! Actually, sometimes she's my twin +brother+, because then she can be Julian!! She helped me a lot with this story, but she kept wanting to put in a Bashir reference! I said no, this is a Voyager story, but who knows, maybe she snuck something in when I was at my aunt's in Poughkeepsie! If you find anything, E-mail me! Which reminds me.

Feedback: I want feedback!!! Please please please!!! My E-mail address is Cutey@wethen.com If you E-mail me really fast, I'll give you my home address, and I'll send you money! We'll be best friends! Please!!! But be nice, this is my very first fanfiction and I'm only eleven (whoops! Julie says I shouldn't tell you that, but oh well!)

Appreciations: I remembered that my parents were really helpful (except with the bits I didn't show them+wink+wink+), so I appreciate all the hints and cupcakes they gave me while I was writing this! Let's see, my friends at P.S. 89, especially all the people in Math class! Mrss. Gibraltor can stuff it! HA-HA-HA!!! And also thanks to my head, which came up with all this great stuff. THANK U BRAIN!! :) :) :) :)

Content Warning: Whoops!! I almost forgot to put this in!! Wouldn't +that+ have been stupid!!! This story is NC-17, so watch out!! It gets hot!! (Smutnugget: The first smut scene is semi-autobiographical!! What didn't happen I filled in with my favorite Romance scene. See if you can catch which bit is real!!)

And now, finally, dundundun-DAA!! My story!!

_The Night the Ship Exploded and Everyone "Did It"_, by Mary Sue Whipple

It was a quiet, normal shift, until suddenly all the lights went out.

The death of the lights all around the ship caused a flurry of bumps in the night.

But in the depths of space, night is an eternal constant that pervades the human soul and echoes somehow in the dark recesses of the psyche, calling to the heart the terrors of childhood, the terrors of the cold and unforgiving death that only space can offer, and it is that very death, that one unobtainable experience that calls to the brave men and women who set out on a course that will lead no where but a starship and vacuum, that calls now to the officers of Voyager, including the one whose all-abiding fear of the dark has left her in dire straits, and has made her desperately thwap her communicator and ask for anyone, anyone, in the hopes that the ship has not been destroyed while she was napping.

A fuzzy voice speaks out from her communicator. "What is it, Ensign Mary Sue," mutters the tired, blessed voice of Tom Paris, her savior in the night.

"Oh Tom, thank God you're alive!"

The pilot's tone lightens as sleep leaves his weary soul. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Mary Sue Elppiw, a young human girl on her first, unlucky (or was it?) assignment in space, cried out, "Tom, the lights have all gone out! Are we in red alert? Is the ship going to be destroyed?!"

"Ensign, do me a favor. Ask your computer to turn the lights back on."

She did, and miraculously, the gentle glow of Voyager's lights pervaded her quarters once more. Once more she could see her low-cut blue satin night-sheath, and her gold-blonde hair curled lightly over one shoulder. And she had Tom to thank for it.

"Oh Tom," she purred, a sound that the pilot found suddenly irresitable, "you've saved me again. How can I ever, *ever* repay you?"

There was a short, emotion-drunken pause. She could hear him swallow hard.

"Well... " he murmured throatily...

"You can start by taking off that dress. You owe me for your stupidy. Have no fear I forgive that."

The lowly ensign smiled in estacasy and quickly shrugged out of her clothes with utmost haste and purpose as how often does on really really get a chance to do the fun stuff with Tom Paris the bestest and cutest and sexiest and most hunky blue eyed pilot in the delta quadrent and alpha quanderent and the whole gosh darned universe? Not often. She contuniued to wiggle out og her clothes.

Tom Paris watched in appreaction before for laying on the ground and wiggling out of his pants and shoes and gold thong.

Soon the two were naked as jay birds.

"WAIT!"

Ensign Mary Sue looked at Tom Paris like he was out of his mind. "Why wait? We love achother and we're gonna get married and have a dozen children."

"Because first I have to apply whip cream and then shave your pubic hair."

"Oh," said Mary. "Well sounds a tad um, odd, but for you anything Tommy my love! So Long as I See Your Chest Hair! Oh Look! There It Is!"

"My love, this won't hurt at all. Your skin won't get a rash at all." Tom shaved her pubic hair. The then he licked the area clean. The two then proceed to have intercourse.

When both lay there heavily sated murmuring sweet nothings, the red alert siren went off.

"Ah, the foolish vanity of youth!" cried Tom Paris. "I thought I could fool the multiverse by learning to transport myself instantly into your tender embrace, but no!" He wept, the tears wetting Mary Sue's . . . cheek.

"Oh Tom," she warbled, roughly pulling his head up so she could look him in the eye, "what do we do now? How can we forgive ourselves if, through our own impassioned love, we cause the destruction of the ship?!"

"There's only one thing we can do, Mary-my-love." Tom pulled Mary Sue up from her coffee table and held her in a heroic and nude embrace. The young ensign felt her blood singing the Hallaleuia chorus.

"And what is that one thing, Tommy?"

"We must . . . get dressed."

Mary Sue flung herself from the traitor's arms. "No! How can you say that?! I thought you loved me!"

Tom shook his head, an expression of pain on his face. "I love you, Mary Sue, beyond... well, anything. But I have a duty. A duty that requires me to look to my ship first, to my captain, to my commander, to my Vulcan, and that duty calls to my genes, to my upbringing, and drowns out the siren sound of my devotion to you, despite however hard I fight against it-- " The red-alert shrilled again, interrupting Tom. He looked confused. "Damn. Lost my train of thought. Look, I gotta go."

Mary Sue's eyes flashed lightening spears of death. "You said 'captain'. It's that Janeway hussy, isn't it?! I'll set her straight!"

Ensign Mary Sue Elppihw flounced her hair, turned her back, and exited her quarters, ready to confront Captain Janeway for the stealing of her love.

Captain Janeway sat alome in her office. The pale green walls making her complexion less than peachy. She'd turned the red alert off in her office, it was getting darn annoying!

She bit a fingernail. She worried about Chakotay, she really did. She'd left him out there - Alone. Doing what he always did, saving Voyager from anhiliation by some rather nasty aliens. She could almost imagine the frustration induced sweat that ran down his manly, muscular body. If it wasn't for that depression thingy she was going through (Note from the Author - sorry, missed that ep !) she'd be otu there with him. Ordering phaser fire as the alien ship's exploded on the view screen. As though those golden particles were fire works to their uncontrollable yet un- fulfilled passion.

Janeway sighed. Chakotay made her h---- but she really couldn't tell him. The loneliness at the top and all that...

She shuffeled to her replicator. "Coffee, luke warm." Luke warm, she thought. That was almost ironic. He hadn't told her in soo long, how ye yearned for her, every waking moment consumed by his passion for her. His passionj must have quelled, he must now have only *luke warm* feelings for hre. Damn, her mind shouted almost loud enough to hurt. If only I was as beautiful and as talented as that young Ensign, Mary Sue. Every man with eyes would want a piece of that. She'd seen Tom Paris smile at her, his eyes full of desire. Janeway aloud herself a half-smile, she'd miss their little meetings. But Tom was easy, a late-night distraction. A gigolo for all the senior staff on VOYAGER. She really wanted Chakotay...

Janeway drifted into her thoughts when the door made a sound (My sis and I had an argument about this, what sound is it exactly. I said woosh, she said weesh. I said that sounded too rude - I then remembered the lurid nature of this fic)

Chakotay strode into the room. Stripped to his T-shirt and his boxers. A piece of huis unifrom tied round his head, rambo style.

"Kathryn," Janeway couldn't bear it, he hadn't called her that in such a long time.

"What is it Chakotay?" She ran to his side, running htr hands over his pulsating bi-ceps. A small rope burn on the back of his hand caught her attention. "Oh 'kotay you are hurt. Let me help you." She lowered her lips and licked his hand.

Like a feline would with sweet, precious milk.

"Kathryn?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Saliva," she said. "Good, for rope burns." Alluringly she reached a hand up to her mouth to remove some spiddel.

"I've got to tell you this." His faxce turned solemn, his big browen eyes could have swallowed her whole.

"What 'kotay, you can tell me anything. There's never been any secrets." She reached up a hand and ran it over his tattoo. So tribal, so sexy, it reminded her of her ultimate fantasy...

"The hsip is going to explode. We're all going to die. This..." He stammered as he stared at her, her lips quivering slightly with fear. "This is the last night we will have together!"

"Oh Cjhokatay," She wailed, tears streaming down her face as she ran into his arms. " Doomed we are all doomed!" The scottish accent was so realistic, if the situation hadn't been so dire he would have complimented hre.

"Kathryn. You must no by now how muchh I want you. That deep voice, that big hair, the odds that we could eber be here together, soul mates we are you and I. My animal guide and my akoonah and my Dad told me in a vision - You and I Katue sweetie we just make sense!!" He hugged her tightly.

"But 'kotay. I'm the Captain - I can't fall in love!!!!!!!!!!" She turned away, unavble to look at that mouth and restrain herself from devouring it with hers.

"But you have Katie. Admit it to yourself, you want me, need me, love me."

Words would not have mattered. A look flickered between the two that could have set all of London alight. He bowed his head, she craned her neck and their lips met.

Mary-Sue ran into the room just in time to witness the embrace...

EnsignMary Sue shot Commander CHakotay. In a rage. she thought he was Tom Paris and he had to pay for dumping her. Janeway has to pay for loving her Tommy too. She shot her with her fazer.

Engisn Mary Sue went tothe bodys to make sure that they were alive and only then did she realize the gravity of her error. She had shot Chakotay not tom Pares. oh well. She ffelt fer apulse on Janeway and discovered that Janeway as alive. Sehe gave her a kick then aexamined, ever so slow chuckles as he wasn;t that badlookling... she felt him slowly... leading up to his erection... well he had a problem... and Ensign Mary Sue wanted to make TomParis jealous. What better way to do that then to have sex with Tom Paris's boss and have his bosses love child? The ensign pulled down his pants, and Chakotay made happy noises. Then she removed her dainty ppanties andthen eased her self ont o Chakotay's throbbing man hood... She then set a pace. Thumping flesh against flesh.

When he came in her she smiled.

She then went off to take a pregnancy test to see if she suceed with her plan.

Some moments later, there was a faint chireep from a communicator.

"Captain? Captain, are you there?!" The Doctor's worried voice sounded next to her ear. "Captain, tell me you're alive!"

Lightly she tapped her communicator. "I... I'm here, Doctor. What's the matter?"

"Thank goodness, Captain. I," here the hologram on the other end paused. "I'm not sure I could have beared it if you were dead. Remind me, at some later date, that I have an important confession to make."

("It involves Bashir," he yelped in pleasure. "His hot, manly body, that uniform, that cool, British accent that was made to turn me on--oh god!")

"I'm all right, Doctor. And we'll speak later. What's the matter?"

"Captain, it's Ensign Mary Sue. She's on a biobed right now. Do you remember the last five minutes?"

"Why, no! Fill me in, Doctor."

"Oh, how I'd love to, my sweet Kathryn," she thought he said, but decided it was but a trick of her mind when he immediately rattled off a list of their current problems.

"To start, Captain, we've been attacked by a marauding group of aliens that can shape change to look exactly like us. I've yet to determine why they want this ship, but I expect reports of interaction to start coming in any moment. Second, Tom Paris, who is, as you know, pilot to Voyager and extremely well-proportioned, is trying his damnedst to save the ship from the bridge. First person accounts are claiming that he's doing so entirely in the buff. And finally, Captain, Ensign Mary Sue Eppihw, the young and beautiful female ensign who usually works the bridge, is sitting in my sickbay claiming that she's shot you and Commander Chakotay because you were the... the secret love affection of Mr. Paris, and out of revenge she wants to be pregnant with Chakotay's child! Captain, please, what should I do?"

Kathryn sank back against the cold carpet; cold like her heart, now that she heard that she had been betrayed by the man she thought she could, perhaps, love. There was only one thing she could have the Doctor do. "By all means, let the Ensign have her baby. I'll have no more to do with Chakotay."

A sound, so faintly like hope, came from the Doctor. "Captain, are you sure? Have you checked to see if Chakotay is even still alive?"

If he's here, staring at me with love and shame in his eyes, I might forgive him, she thought. Ever so slowly she turned her head, and saw what was beside her.

Evidense of phaser fire. Evitence of sex, wild and free. And evidence, her aching soul told her, that Chakotay was no where to be found.

Kathryn felt many many emotions all rush into her at once, alomst like the tides coming in all at once after a long and feirce storm like the kind that she remembered reading about as a child on earth. She reached her hand out slowly, stopping then starting, then stalling then fianlly touching the place where the evitence of passionate wild lovemaking had occured. That lovemaking which now was going to bring a new life aboard VOAYGER.Janeway then mustered up her courage and then marched over to scikbay with the courage and determination of one of earth's old soldiers, as if about to go into a battle. She marched into sick bay and said "MARY SUE!" Mary sue then looked over to Janeway slowly. Janeway just looked back at her with a look that said in some incredible supernatural way : "You may have won this battle...but the war is far from being won by you and is just beginning" Janeway then stormed passionately out of sickbay.

Mary Sue had to have the last word. She shouted after Janeway "Well you can have him back! He wasn't even that good of a lay! Tom Paris was better!"

Janeway turned crimson again and marched abck into the sick bay. "That's because you don't know how to handle real man!" she shouted.

Mary Sue's orbs turned whiter. "I have tomparis. Not some faggot like Chakotay who sleeps with harry on the side!"

Janeway mumbled back to her: "You are to go to your room young lady."

"Can't," the ensign smiled sweetly. "Due on the bridge. My shift's up. You know how I take over the night shift for the captian."

Janeway nodded and sighed and went back to her room. Once there, she found a naked Harry Kim...

Meanwhile the ensign was on the bridge. Tom Paris was there too having averted the crisis that called for him to be there because of the red al;ert and he had hadnled himself so well that everything turned out just peachy and B'Elanna had only to fix a minimum amount of things; B'Elanna was happy to only have to fix that stff but she wouldn't be later when she found out the ensign had slept with Tom Paris but since Mary out ranked her, she wouldn't complain.

Mary Sue's first order was for Tom to remove his clothes.

"But darling, my sweetness, I-- well, I'm already unclothed!" Tom strode to her, his manly hair rippling with the movement. He roughly pulled her body to his, ignoring for the time being that she was in deshabille as well. "Surely you remember last night, Mary Sue. My love, my passion. Your beautiful body twisted in lithe and agile positions that only a goddess could not get cramps in."

Mary Sue almost, almost, forgave him.

Until she saw... Chakotay.

"Oh Tom, you deciever! Here I stand in your naked embrace, ready to forgive you and love you and envelope your manliness within me once more, and you carry on, behind my uncovered rump, with that, that man! hidden beneath your console! Liar! Traitor!"

Tom twitched, and abruptly looked over his shoulder. Sure enough, beneath the helm, was a Commander, dressed only in a tanktop and rambo-style headband. He waved.

"O-o-oh," stuttered Tom, "him."

"Yes, him!! How could you?!"

Tom quickly turned back to Mary Sue. "Listen, love-of-my-life, he meant nothing. I merely accepted his proposition out of love for you. I missed you, your sweet embrace, your impassioned yodeling noises that you make right when--"

"I don't believe you!" she cried, slapping him. "I have a confession, Tom, and I hope you die when you hear it!!" She slapped him again.

"Oh bright light of my dawn, the only confession that could ever fall from your sweet, berry-moist lips that would kill me is if you took my call to captain as a sign of my broken devotion to you, and in a wild blood-lust shot both Janeway and the Commander--"

"Uh, Tom, there's something you should--" Chakotay mumbled from beneath the console.

"--and then proceeded to fulfill your empty hole (in your heart, my love) with Chakotay's half-mast, shot-up organ--"

"Tom, really, I've got to tell you something--"

"--in a desperate attempt to seek revenge on my cheating soul by having the Commander's love-child!"

Chakotay pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

Mary Sue stepped back, back, and whispered, "That is *exactly* what I was going to confess! Rot in hell, Helmboy!!" she exclaimed. (Author's note: does anyone know the gramar I'm misssing?!!? Julie said I shoudl not have too things there, y'know, 'she whispered', 'she exclaimed'...... if anyone knows the wirite stuff, email me!!!11!@)

Tom clutched his heart and fell over.

Just then, the bridge doors opened, and Tom Paris, in a tailor-made uniform, walked in.

But TOm Paris it was not! OR was it?! He looked precisely like the gorgeous cerulean eyed pilot with the lovely chest hair that seemed to belong ina story of great love and desire and not on such a ship of apssionate scandal that was like a play from days long long LONG gone past. Mary Sue screamed louder and shriller than ever before. She stood there gaping at this...this other Tom. Chakotay suddenly ran past her and jumped .into 'Tom2's embrace. "My love " chakotay said he "please accept my half nude and passionate embrace as forgiveness for impregnating the love of your life with my love child". I was asleep in a deep world of dreams when it occured...the occurence of her making love to my small yet manly erection.." the doors then slowly whoosed open in a sort of greecian god like way form earth's earlier days of history only to have janeway witha fazer riffle to march in

"I am Kathryn Janeway." she said.

"We know," they both replied almost in unison.

"Ha ha ha but, but I'm not." She fired the fazer rifle at Chokotay. His chocolate brown eyes messed up by his brain exploding (Author's note -I've been told it can do that.) His body landed with a flood on the floor. A large gaping whole where his tattoo once was. His hands shook and then eventually stopped. It seemed Chakotay Junior wouldn't have a Daddy. Ah, the pain, that red stain was going to be hell to get out.

She turned the rifle on Tom but then dropped it in astonishment. "Oh Wow!! You're Tom Paris, sex-god of the Universe. How can any slightly dodgy alien woman resist?" The shape-shifter alien ran towards him knocking him to the floor and pulling his clothes off with reckless abandon.

"Oh cool." Was all Tom could manage.

Meanwhile on Sickbay...

"Captain - I don't understand it. 7 of 9 has disappeared from the ship, in any normal situation - she'd be the one to save us but she's just gone and I've got a darned good Gilbert and Sullivan number as well." The EMH stomped around the room.

"Damn," Janeway said. "I can't drone on about the meaning of individuality and how that basically means she has to be my slave and do everything I command. Oh well, maybe I can reform Mary Sue Whipple over a cup of late night Java."

Just then - Mary Sue stormed in. As always her long hair rested neatly on her shoulders, her sparkling blue eyes shone and she held her - 'I've got an IQ of 369 and I'm funny too,' certificate aloft.

"Who needs Barbie borg! We've got whipple power!!"

*************************************************

For all you at home - start playing Backstreet Boys now! The words to their songs and Nick Carter's cute pre-pubescant warblings were the inspiration to this whole piece. Oh and Nick Carter - DROOL! That floppy fringe - if this was fluff I'd write him in.

************************************************

(Hey, everybody!!! I almost forgot. I wrote too different bits next, I lost the first and then decided that it must ahve sucked anyway, so I wrote a new one, but than I found the old one and know I'm putting it here. e-Mail me if you like this part, and maybe I'll write and "alternate ending" sequel!!! Here goes:

"Sugar, I almost forgot about you for a moment, Mary Sue!! Help us, with Seven of Nine gone (although your hair is much shiner than hers) the ship is in trouble!"

"Yes," sighed Ensign Elppihw, "I realize that Seven of Nine and I can almost pass for twins-- Gee, that's it!!"

"I'm afraid I don't follow you," the Doctor mumbled, "and neither does the captain! Can you explain?"

Mary Sue nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! You see, all I have to do is put on a spare catsuit and then pretend to be the Borg! Then I can give myself, for the good of the ship, to the invading aliens! With what they think is Seven of Nine captured, they'll leave! Then I can blow up their ship and you can transport me with only seconds to spare!"

"My gosh, that's brilliant," cried the Captain. "What did we do before you came along?"

Mary Sue dimpled and shook her head modestly. "Don't worry, Captain. I'm doing this for the good of the ship, not for praise."

"I assure you, Ensign, you deserve that praise. I'm sorry for ever taking Tom from you. Will you forgive me," asked the Captain, fear and sadness in her eyes?

"Oh of course!! Can I call you Kate?"

They hugged. "No, dear. Call me Mom!!"

Suddenly the Doctor shot up! "Drat! Mom!"

"What?" asked the two hugging females.

The Doctor turned and grabbed Mary Sue by the shoulders. "Mary Sue, you seem to have forgotten that you're pregnant! Thanks to that medicine you asked me to give you, the birth cycle has been shortened by months! If my calculations are correct, then you'll be giving birth to Chakotay's love child right when you're supposed to be blowing up the enemy ship!!"

The Capatin began crying. "Oh Mary Sue, my surragate daughter, you can't go know!! I won't let you endanger yourself or Chakotay's child, which he is sure to love," she said, not knowing that Chakotay was dead, killed by her alien self, and not knowing that her love for him would die slowing in the frozen washes of space.

"Nonsense, Mom!" said Mary Sue. "I'll make it!!" Seriously, she said, "Remember, if it'll save the ship, I'm willing to risk my life." And with that, Mary Sue Elppihw, bravest Ensign in Starfleet, left the room.

"Gosh be with you," whispered Kathryn Janeway, tears in her voice. The Doctor took this oppurtunity to say in his usual, gruff manner, "You said, Captain, that I could tell you something at a later date. Since it is concievable that Mary Sue could fail--"

"No, never! We can't let that happen!"

"--I must tell you, Kathryn, that, well, I love you. I've... I've always loved you. Since the beginning. I understand that you can't reciprocate my feeling, seeing as how I'm merely a hologram, but--"

"Oh Doctor. I don't know what to say."

"--I felt that this was the only chance I had." The Doctor used his gentle surgeon's hands to pull Janeway into his tender arms. "Kathryn, forgive me," he murmured, putting his lips to hers.

Hi, I'm back!! So, whadyaall think? Email me, and maybe I'll keep going with this! For now, read the erst of hte story, and pretend the bit up there never happend!! Bye!!!!)(

Mary Sue Whipple smiled.

Janeway smiled back at her. She felt so special knowing that they didn't need seven of nine.

"Oh dearest janeway, captain after my heart of hearts, this whole sad story has to come out here and now. after years of remaining aloof and having fantastic sex with me, I have felt a quandry and empty in my heart and feel a need to become one with my own sex and in the spirit of thos, though I may be pregnant and shrewish and gorgeous, I would love for you to be my first."

Janeway was rahodisic ovet his announcement and put her ruby red lips o that of the ensign whipples. But alas, for naught the ensign pulled away. "Nut first, before for we consumate this realtionship, I must say to you a poem all my own that I made up with no out side help and I tell you was not stolen from a 1950's b rated movies no matter what the gorgeous manly tom Parus say. Now, let me recite:

A Whiiple came to the door at eve,
And she spoke the bride fair.
SHe bore a green-white stick in her hand,
And, for all burden, care.
SHe asked with the eyes more than the lips
For a shelter for the night,
And She turned and looked at the road afar
Without a window light.

The bride came forth into the porch
With, 'Let us look at the sky,
And question what of the night to be,
Whipple, you and I.'
The woodbine leaves littered the yard,
The woodbine berries were blue,
Autumn, yes, winter was in the wind;
'Whipple, I wish I knew.'

Within, the brideman in the dusk alone
Bent over the open fire,
His face rose-red with the glowing coal
And the thought of the heart's desire.

The bride looked at the weary road,
Yet saw but him within,
And wished him heart in a case of gold
And pinned with a silver pin.

The bride thought it little to give
A dole of bread, a purse,
A heartfelt prayer for the poor of God,
Or for the rich a curse;

But whether or not a woman was asked
To mar the love of two
By harboring woe in the bridal house,
The bride wished she knew.

"With that I am adone for anow. Let us have sex."

With that Janeway nodded much appeased.

The Captain and Ensign Mary Sue are doing it on my desk, thought the Doctor with a harsh pain where his heart would be if he had one.

Ever since he could remember, he had been in love with Captain Janeway. He'd never had the heart (Authort's note: 'cause he's a hologram)to tell her. For months now he thougyt his cause ahd been lost, due to Kathrun's interesting sex life. For a brief moment this morning, he thought he might have had a chance.

And now this. Kathryn and that devilishly attractive, pert young ensign were going at it in full view of him, never mind that he had feelings too, even if they were programs instead of real emotions and therefore technically didn't count. Oh, the humanity! which he really couldn;'t lay claim to, as he was a holoprogram and evidentlly, nothing more!

In weariness and heart-break (not really), he left the sickbay, leaving the faint slurping noises behind.

Fortunately, just before he left, he put on his mobiel emitter, so he could walk the halls in solitude.

"Oh, sweet Kathryn," he murmured, "why have you forsaken me?"

"I'll tell you why," whispered a voice from Engineering. "BEcause she knew that I've had dibs on you for years."

The Doctor swiveled his head to the left, there to see B'Elanna Torres, Chief Engineer, half- klingon, half-human.

And, to boot, half-dressed.

"Why, B'elanna," the Doctor murmured, desire rising (among other things) unbidden in his eyes. "What are +you+ doign here?"

B'Ellana gently dragged one of the few lightweight scarves adorning her body off of her shoulder. Seductively, she squeezed it between her legs.

"Well, Doctor . . . "

The Doctor felt his transistor palipate. "I have this yeast in fection I want you to fix for me."

The EMH looked stunned. He wanted B'Elanna now... (Author note: Lisa said to explain that he forgot about Janeway cause Harry wiped out his short term memory but can't do anything.) He couldn't think of any other female or rember any one else ever having exsisted.

B'Elanna shoved his holographic face into her courch for an inspection. "No infection here..." The doc managed to choke out.

"Try for a taste test Doctor after my heart before i weep in pain of not having had you lusvcious transistors in the past five years and I must be quickly becayuse I must get back to my children Own and Elizabeth. Tom is babysitting while I, I who work the hardest, play but my love he knows this not. This must be our secret."

The EMH could only nod and lick.

"Dear sweet lord! What the hell is going on here?"

The Doctor and B'Elanna turned abruptly to one side, the Doctor bruising his nose (except not really).

Tom Paris, naked as the da he was born (but bigger and stronger), was standing agape at them.

"Tom!" yelped B'elanna, "I thought you were dead?!"

Tom suddenly looked at his hands, as ifthey were covered in an invisible blood that only he could see. His face scrunched in confusions and growing terror.

He looked at the two staring at him in dumbfounded worry. "I don't know," he whispered. "I don't know if I'm dead."

"Tom Paris, man of the man, strongest human of strongest human, example of man at its finest ecept for that little accident on caldif prime, you are worthy of the fair b'ellanna and I would heed her over to you in a mirco second for but alas, I am just a walking vibrartor created in the image of Data who was the robot and the pron videos that are in our massively huge, made of steel databases."

Ton paris still looked horrified but a thought entered into his steel trapped mind. "Since my children are being baby sat by Tuvok, my children that I created with b'Elanna and sprung from her whom and their nbames are Owen and Eliz, I have some free time with which to use."

The doctor nodded in quiet understanding. "Tis right."

Tom continued"and you are but a walking vibrator, I would like you to give my hunk of manly meet some relief."

B'Eanna smacked the doc and then did what Tom had requested for the doc.

Crewman Chapmen walked into the medlab and proceed to get pleasured by the doctor.

Meanwhile in the quarter's of the Paris, Owen, Eliza and Tuvok sang.

"A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y and Z"

"Uncky Tubok, can you tell us a 'tory?" smiled little Eliza, her forehead ridges schrunched up in hope.

"Oh course, minuture human/klingon crossover," said the stiff, emotionless Vulcan. His voice had gone hard, like cold, hard ice, to make up for the breach in emotions his heart had just made when it filled with delight at the small child's wish. Eliza look at him curiously.

"Uncky Tubok, you don't +mind+ that I wisp, do you?"

On the contrary, he thought in green-faced shame, I find it all too endearing. "Young one, you should try your hardest to overcome your imperfection. Lisping is a sign of-- "

"Uncle Tuvok, Uncle Tuvok!" yelled someone from the next room, "I know what that sound is!!"

Tuvok left the Eliza's tea party to go into the next room. Half an hour ago the klaxon had gone off, and in an effort to give the wheelchair-bound Owen a reason to live, Tuvok had given him the task of determining what the sound was. Tuvok felt the faint stirrings of pride, and ruthlessly pushed them aside. This was the fastest identification yet; the last time, it had taken Owen three hours to realize that there had been a loss of vacuum in the Paris/Torres quarters; if he hadn't been crippled at birth he would have lost his legs a second time. THis time it had only taken him half an hour to realize there was a red alert. Tuvok felt pride, but he ruthlessly held it back. He was Vulcan; he couldn't feel pride. He could feel his terrible wrath pounding beneath his eyes.

"Uncle Tuvok, it's the red alert!! I think that shape-changing aliens have taken over the shipp!! WHo knows, maybe the ship will excplode! We've got to help save everyone!" cried the wheelchair-bound child, his eyes like a blue sky reflected in a puddle with chocolate brown mud at the bottom. His hair was a cross between B'Elanna's and Tom's soft locks, only scraggily in the way of all small, nine-year old boys. Tuvok looked deep inside himself and realized that he perhaps loved these children. His Vulcan side hastily put up a cold front.

"Excellent, Owen. Perhaps you, your sister, and I can try to help save the ship. Come along." Oh god! he thought, I can't control my emotions! Tuvok felt his Vulcanness crumbling softly with each moment he spent with the children.

Owen rolled his wheels through the door. They had tried to fit him with new legs, but the Doctor had informed them that they wouldn't work until he was fully grown, and by that time he would be used to using tdhe wheelchair, so there was nothing to be done. They couldn't even give him anything very advanced, so they looked through all the old twentieth century databases until they found the specifications for a "wheelchair", horribly unadvanced for Voyager's time, but the best they could do.

Eliza joined them. "Are wee going to a party?" she sucked her thumb and fiddled with her soft red hair.

"No, Eliza. We are going to save the ship. Would you like to come along?" He could feel his sanity chipping away like the rock-face of a cliff against an unending sea.

"O-tay. Lets go." She put her hand into Tuvok's, not knowing that her gently touch nearly sent his Vulcan mind tumbling down the recesses of insantiuy.

They opened the door, only to find Ensign Mary Sue Epplihw on the other side. Her eyes were glazed and sated, her stomach was lightly bulging out of her abdomen with Chakotay's love child, and she wasn't wearing a stitch.

"Oh, hello, Tuvok! Have you seen Tom? I've got even more Deadly confessions to make." She smiled, and suddenly Tuvok felt the faint stirrings of desire. oH T'Pau, his emotionless Vulcan mind could not possibly suffer another blow! Ruthlessly he truiede to gain control.

"He is perhaps down this hall. Let's all go togehter. I must ask you, Ensign Epplihw, if you are a shape-changing alien. I'm afraid there's no way I can really tell... at least, not in front of the children." Daisy, daisy, give me your answer true... his mind thought in agony.,

"I'm a changed woman, Tuvok," Mary Sue whispered quietly. "I have to watch out for my child." Here she began rubbing her engorged tummy. "I have to watch out for little Chak-to-kotah." (Author's note: I found that onlien. It means, 'blood of my loins, child of my greater, boy with tatoo in his eyes' And it sounds liek 'Chakotay' too)

Tuvok nodded, seemingly calm though he heard his green blood pounding in his ears. "We can find the Doctor in order to find out."

They all left the room, slowed only a little by the wheelchair-bound Owen. Around the next corner, they met up with the Doctor, Janeway, Tom Paris, Chakotay, B'Elanna, and Harry Kim, all in spot-less uniform.

What they didn't know was that around the next corner, the same group of people were doing something entirley, entirely different.

"Why, hello there, Tuvok," mumured the Captain, her hair spotlessly bound up in a tight bun. She knelt in front of the children. "Hello there. Are you having a good time with," she arched her brow and glanced up, her eyes dancing merrily, "Uncky Tuvok, isn't it?

The two children nodded adorably, and Tom and B'Elanna couldn't help but look at each other with love and pride. The two children grabbed Tuvok's hands, and smiled.

Tuvok, his eyes screaming a death no one could hear, keeled over.

"Quick, move aside," yelled the EMH, "I'm a doctor." He moved to start scanning the prone Tuvok, then stopped and looked at the kids. His voice softened. "Eliza, Owen, perhaps you should go to the daycare. I'm certain Naomi Wildman would be happy to see you both there."

Owen should his head, which was not wheelchair-bound. "No, she said that we were two flatulant gits with no acting ability." He looked confused, and hurt. "I don't know what she meant, but Eliza started crying these big huge tears and whispering for Mom," here, B'Ellana tugged on Tom's arm and began whispering in his ear, "and Naomi stalked off yelling for new script-writers."

Tom stepped forward, knelt in front of his wheelchair-bound son, and took her son's hands. B'Ellana came up to Eliza, and knelt in front of her, and gently took her in her arms.

"Son, Owen, you have to understand that you're... different. It makes you unique, and it makes you someone special. Not everyone can understand what it's like to be you: half- Klingon, half-human, interesting hair and eye color, son of the Chief Engineer and the Pilot."

Owen sniffled. "And wheelchair-bound."

Tom looked confused for a moment, then smiled softly. "I'd almost forgotten. And wheelchair-bound." He gently wiped the tears away. "Some people can't understand that yopu're special, and so they mock, and ridicule, and make you feel like you don't deserve to live with us Norms."

B'Elanna, Eliza still in her arms, came closer. "But Owen, and you too Eliza, you have to know that no matter what, we'll still love you, and we'll still keep you in our hearts and in our prayersa and in our quarters, no matter what Naomi Wildman or anyone else says."

Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other and their children, then hugged them hard. Simultaneously they mumured, "We love you both."

The Captain and everyone else present nodded, then began clapping. It was a beautiful moment.

Tuvok twitched.

"Get them out of here!" yelled the Doctor, and Tom and B'Elanna roughly pushed Owen and Eliza over to one side. Chaos ensued as the Doctor tried to determine what was wrong, and as Owen and Eliza continued down the hall, in the distance they could here the Doctor say, "Captain, there's only one thing to be done. You have to do the generous thing for Tuvok, nothing else will save him. Make love to him, in public, but make no sound or project any emotion, even within your head, for Vulcan's are touch telebaths..."

Owen and Eliza walked and rolled down the hallway. Eliza stuck her thumb in her mouth. "Owen, what aw wee going to do?"

"I don't know, little sis," he said bravely, even if he didn't feel brave. "Let's keep going this way until we get to a turbolift." He smiled, a bit waverly. "Remember, there's still the alien problem. Maybe we can get to the bridge, or to Seven of Nine, the Borg. We've got to do something!"

They rounded a corner. Suddenly, and without warnign, they saw almost as identical scene as the one left behind. All the people were present, the Doctor's orders, what little Owen and Eliza had heard of them, were being followed, and all in all, if Owen and Eliza had been any dumber they would have thought they had looped back to the former scene.

Except every single one of *these* people were completely, and totally, naked.

Owen scrambled for the basket on the side of his wheelchair. He pulled out the phaser Tom had put in there only seconds ago, in case of emergency. He held it up, pulled Eliza obligingly behind him, pointed it at his so-called parents, and said,

"Tell me now, before I blow your brains out.

Are you the aliens, or are the aliens the ones who said they loved us not five minutes ago?"

He pushed off the safety with one firm click.

"And your answer had better be *damn* convincing."

The aliebns clicked and Tom & B'Elanna found themselves in space. All they had on were EVA suits, five hours of oxygen a piece and an old fashioned speed boat.

Tom hit the com badge on his hand. "B'Elanna my love, flatuence of myflatuence, we, my love ofmy heart, are going to di."

B'Elanna looked at Tom. Through her face plate, Tom could see her crying and sobbing. "We for surely die!"

Tom loked at B'Elnna. He knew they were going to duie soon unless voyager saved them. He felt inspired to say somehting. He wanted to tell her that he would be with her always, even after death. Somewhere, in the great beyond, a song played in the bowels of space.

Everynight in my dreams, I see, you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more, you open the door
And you're here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.

Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime,
And never let go till we're gone.
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to,
In my life we'll always go on.

Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more, you open the door
And you're here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on.
We'll stay forever this way,
You are safe in my heart,
And my heart will go on.

He climbed on to the tip of the boat and held B'Elanna up. He sang to her that song and then whsipered that everything would be all right and they would have hope in the future,..m,

Elsewhere, back on the ship...

"Where did they go," murmured Owen, shocked.

"I don't no," lisped little Eliza, "but we've got to go thave the thip!"

"Right," said Owen, "let's go." He wheeled himself bravely onward. They passed by a set of windows, not noticeing that floating out there were two humanoids, one half-Klingon, in a boat. If they had noticed, perhaps they could have saved the two hapless crewmen.

If they had known, perhaps they would have instead hurried on forward to the bridge, instead of dawdling, wondering which way to go. For even now, without their knowledge, an alien-shapeshifter in the guise of Kes (Author's note: IO know she's dea,c bgut the aliens don't) is planting a deadly bomb right beneath the helm.

And planted over the dead Chakotay's heart, lovingly entwined with a Venerian Pox Rose, is a small red bomb that, mere minutes before the other bon goes off, will release a toxin in the air that will cause +everyone on the ship+...

To +do it+.

The Kes laughed evilly, then transported off Voyager and onto the nearby floating boat, there to feast off of the rapidly cooling bodies of B'Elanna and Tom, because the aliens are cannibals as well.

Meanwhile, Ensign Mary Sue Epplihw suddenly felt her water burst.

"Oh my gosh!" she cried, "I think I'm having Chakotay's love child!!"

The Doctor, nearby, scanned her. "Mary Sue," he murmured.

"es?" she whipsered, suddenly worried.

"There's a problem."

"You're not having his love shild." the doctor said in a perfeunctory tone. Mary Sue screamed. She hobbled. She cried. The terror that fled through her body was too much. "But I only slept with Elmo once!"

The EMH looked at Mary Sue. "Who the hell is Elmo?"

Elisa ran up to the EMH and pulled on his sleeve. "Elmo is the tickle me guy. He is red. He is cute. Presss his tummy. Hear him giggle" the little girl lisped.

Mary Sue's labor progessed quickly. while this was going on, Harry and Janeway, were looking for Paris and torres and Tuvok was crying.

Finally Mary Sue's labor ended. A pop was heard. Then a "Hello! I'm elmo junior! ha ha ha ha." Mary Sue passsed out.

Meanwhile, Paris and Torres were still stuck in space, with a speed boat, listening to Celine Dione and only possessing two hours of oxygen left.

And having their legs chomped on by Kes.

Tom Paris flug a hand to his glass-plated brow. "Oh the pain, the pain!" he cried.

B'Elanna clutched his suited body to her own. "Oh darling, once we're dead the leg won't matter any more!"

"But that's not my pain, my sweet, sweet B'Elle! Had I but known, I would have spent my last, waking, cannabalized breath with my secret love, Ensign Mary Sue!"

B'Elanna flung herself from Tom's grip, floating gently above the boat. "Cad! What of our children, the life we'd made together on Voyager?! Have you thrown all that away in your lust for the beautiful and highly available Ensign Elppihw?!"

Tom tugged on her lifeline, bringing her down and back into his arms. Looking deep into her anguished eyes, he whispered, "No, B'Elanna."

"No?" she whispered back, hope within her voice and in the corners of her eyes.

"No, my sweet," he mumured gently, "it's not lust. It's love."

B'Elanna stared in horror, unwilling to believe. But Tom's eyes told her the truth.

Her mouth spitting with rage, she yelled, "Deciever! False father of my children!"

Tom floated back aghast. "What do you mean?" he asked, as Kes nibbled gently on his thoracic cavity.

"I mean," B'Elanna said, floating staunchily up to the tape-player and removing the Celine Dion, "that Owen is not your son. He's Chakotay's love child. I was pregnant with Owen before you and I ever met!" She slipped in some Queen. Suddenly the lyrics of 'We Are the Champions' filled the silence of space.

Tom looked like his heart had been ripped out by B'Elanna. On further analysis, it turned out to have been done by Kes, but the effect was much the same. "And, what of Eliza?" he whimpered, not knowing how much this killed B'Elanna to say.

"She, traitor, is none other than the daughter of..."

Kes abruptly left Tom's bloody carcass and clamped her canines on B'Elanna's head. The plastic bubble didn't stop her for long, and the confession that B'Elanna was about to reveal was lost to the dankness of space.

"NOOO!OOO!!OOO!!!O"

Tom leapt at Kes, his intestines looping gently in the vacuum. She fainted left. He fainted right. Suddenly, the blood loss got to him, and he feinted for real.

Kes looked at the carnage surrounding her. "Well," she mumured thoughtfully, "considering that the ship is going to blow in less than half an hour, I better take home a doggy bag."

With that, she turned up the Queen tunes, turned the boat on, and roared off into the sunset, never to be seen again.

Meanwhile, Janeway was having problems with the newest member of the crew...

"Elmo junior, where are you?"

"ha ha ha ha. That tickles!"

"She, elmo j. Janeway will here us." Said Owen junior. He was hiding behind Neelix who was looking down at Elmo with delight.

"Kids, aren't they a gem? Katie, he's over here!"

Janeway long legged strided over towards the wheel chair bound boy. "He's three hours old and already taking after his mother."

Elmo laughed. Mary Sue, laying on the flor in agony, wanted to reach for a phaser.

Out side, Tom and B'Elanna found themselves, and Kes and Neelix magically on the titanic again. Life sucked four our intrepid lovers.

"Hey, B'Elanna, have you noticed something weird?"

"What do you mean, Tom?"

"Well, we seem to be on a 20th century ocean-faring, steam-driven, famously disastrous ship."

"Yeah, that does seem pretty odd."

"I'm missing most of my chest, you're missing your head, and we both seem to have chew marks on our legs."

"Got to wonder about that."

"But the *really* weird thing, the thing that makes me want to scratch my head and say 'Hmm' is--"

"What?"

"Kes and Neelix seem to be getting it on right next to us. I mean, leaving aside the fact that she's technically dead, and this Kes is probably the alien shape-shifter that made lunchmeat out of us not five minutes ago, I, well, I thought they broke up."

"Tom... that is *damn* weird."

"Don't I know it."

(Whoah!!! Where the hekc did this come from??? I think Julioe has been messing with my stuff again!! THAT's IT!! I'm shoeing her the Ezri/Julian episoades now!!!!)

Suddenly, Elmo Jr. was on the bridge. He held up Chakotay's limp body and yeelleld, "Tickle me this, look what I found mom!!!"

And with that, he dragged the vicious rose-encircled toxin bomb to Ensign Mary Sue, unaware, in his/her/it's still-forming brain, that it was going to go off within five seconds (but not the bomb that was going to blow up the ship, because that was still underneath the Captain's chair, and wouldn't go off until five minutes after the other one).

When it went off, the toxin would release into the ship and cause everyone to "do it".

And Mary Sue Elppihw would be holding the center of it all.

"Mom! Mom! tickle me this! ha ha ha ha." The limp, dead, pallid, sickly deadish green colored body was being tickled.

Tuvok looked at Mary Sue ElppihW. "He's Dead Sue."

Mary Sue sniffled. She backed away from janeway in mock horror. Elmo then said to his mommy "Mommy! Mommy! Bomb tickle KatiE!"

Janeway leaned forward in her seat from where she was sitting to look better at Elmo who was jumping up and down on the dead Chuckles (Author note: That's what I call Chuckles when I think about sleeping with him). "Explain junior or I'll send you to your room."

"Katie go boom!" Wtih that Elmo pressed a button and Janeway, having been sitting on a the toxic bomb, flew from the seat in throws of death,

"Ha ha ha. Bomb tickle katie. Now mom rule ship. Elmo help. elmo junior help mommy rule ship."

Tuvok tried to apprehend the little red guy but unfortunatrly he was strangled by Elmo. Poor Tuvok. All that was left to run the ship was Harry Kim, Chapman and Carey. Paris and Torres had disappeared after all. Neelix should be shot unless you are making with him in a hot tub.

Mary Sue stared about herself in horror. The body count was beyond belief. Janeway, Paris (both of them), Torres, Chakotay (both of them too), and that Carrey guy from enginnering because it was stupid of him to die on that planet in the season ender from a couple years ago.

"Gosh," she whispered, the bloddy bodies parading behind her eyes. She felt herself fainting, fainting, hitting the floor gracefully and collapsing inertly. Her eyes were still wide open as she saw the dead Commander's chest suddenly heave upward, as if he was breathing again.

His chest exploded.

A pink, slightly lemonadey scent filled the room, dancing little polkas on the chairs and ceiling, lightly skirting the oozing scraps of blood and flesh speckling the area. Mary Sue put her finger to her face and scraped a drop of blood onto the tip of her nail.

Her eyes filled with tears, even as the pink cloud slowly filled her nose. "Oh Chakotay," she whispered, unable to keep the moan of desire, caused by the gas, from tinting her voice, "when this night began, I didn't mean for all this is happen. The lights went out, and all I did was call out into the darkness, looking for any love-sick soul that might end my fear and begin my hope anew."

She pulled herself up, leaning heavily against the wall as she pushed herself toward the turbolift. Involuntarily the wall-carpeting seemed to rush against her skin in a way that heated her blood.

"I used to be so happy," she whispered. "No cares. I had love. I had Tom, Chakotay, any man at all. My Captain loved me. My crew loved me. I was rising in the ranks and I thought that someday, someday I might see home, Earth, again. See my pets, my family, my little condo on the East side."

Though she couldn't see it, she knew that the pink, frothy, cotton-candy-colored cloud was traveling through the ship. As if on cue, Voyager began rocking slightly back and forth, a dull thumping noise resounding through the cavernous halls and empty public rooms. With dread, shortly followed by erotic tingles, Mary Sue realized the source of the distrubance.

Everyone on Voyager . . . was "doing it."

She finally made it to the turbolift. The doors closed firmly behind her, and as she punched in the floor number of the bridge, she unconsciously rubbed against the lift's wall's bar.

"I have to come up with a plan," she whipsered once more. "There has to be something I can do. I can almost guess what's going to happen next. If I'm not wrong, the alien Kes planted another bomb, underneath the Security console. If that blows up, the ship goes with it."

The turbolift came to shaky halt with a barely perceptible bing. Mary Sue almost collapsed as the doors swung open, but finally, finally, she was on the bridge.

"There's got to be something I can do!" she cried out in frustration. "Think think... I got it!" She hurried as fast as her undulating body could to the EPS conduit in front of the viewscreen. She pulled up one corner of the carpetng, and found the emergency hidden hyrdospanner. She used the instrument as quickly as possible to wrench off the panelling, trying hard not to use the intrusment for other, more pleasurable purposes.

"No," she thought, and then whisperd. "THat'w just what the aliens want me to do." She pulled out the bomb, shaped like a small green pineapple. "Where do I put this now? Think think!"

All of a sudden, she remembered the lessons Harry had given her on transportation. She took the bomb and set it on the Captain's chair, then shivered over to Harry's console. "PRess his, then this, then pop in the quardenits... poof!!"

Teh bomb disapppeared. Mary Sue had sent it to the alien ship.

A bright and loud BOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!! lit up the viewscreen as an invisible alien ship blew up.

Ensign Mary Sue Elppihw was a hero.

She smiled in relief and said YAY!

Suddenly, the red alert started klaxoning louder than ever.

Mary Sue looked down at the console, reading the lights that would tell her what was wrong.

Because something was still, terribly, horribly, disastrously *wrong.*

The ship was still saking and rocking as if it too was about to explode and have a giant orgasm witht the rest of the crew.

"Bye bye Momma. Bye bye!" Elmo junior shouted over the com system to his mother who sat at the controls where Tom Paris sat, playing with her pussy, waiting for the ship to explode.

A giant scream was heard crashing through the ship, as if metal was being ripped from it's seams and nuts flew hitting things.

"I love you momma!" Elmo's voice was heard saying.

On this night Mary Sue died and the ship exploded.

-------

Time passed, and Elmo, and the EMH whom Elmo had transfered his program over, traveledly slowly through the black nether of space, rarely stopping to eat. There was no reason to. It would be five lonely years for Elmo and the EMH before they would find a worm hole that took them back to the alpha quarderent. When they got back, the pair were hailed as heros and told their tails to everyone. Poor guys.

TEH END END END
THIS IS THE END END END
WE"RE PINKY AND THE BRSIN
YES PINKY AND THE BRAIN
ONE IS REALLY SMART
THE OTHER IS SORTA CUTE
BUT THIS IS THE END END END
THISD IS THE END END END..........

Sorry!! I was crying when I inished this (Julie made so much fun of my!!), so I went to watch soem cartoons and then I had the tune stuck in my head oh well!!!

Anyway, this is the end of my first story and I hope everyone liks it and I get a bunch of fanmail please! ThANK YOU!!!

OH yeha , and vote for me in the awards it would be cool, nd I just know I could win, 'cause all my favoirte writers do and I try my hardaet just to be like them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

BYE!!!!!!!!!
(and wite fanmail!)

(And that's the end!!! Sign my guestbook and email me and stuff and tell me how you liked it!!!)