dodo headWaldrop Myths Debunked


#1: Howard's Accent

Howard doesn't have an accent. We have accents, you and me. Not Howard. Howard talks the way Nature intended him to talk, and us too if we could wrap our tongues around some of those diphthongs. Just so you'll be able to engage Howard in conversation and perhaps even follow the subtle nuances of his thought, I include here some translations from the Waldrop.

Hah. Ahmhaard.
Hello. My name is Howard.

Che'ekidaou'ut.
This is something in which I believe you'll be interested.

Y'naouuadimean, y'naouuadimean?
I think you understand what I'm talking about.

#2: Howard's Wardrobe

It is a common misconception that Howard dresses oddly. George R.R. Martin, of all people, fueled the falsehood by suggesting that Howard dresses "like Mork from Ork." While there may be a hint of truth in this characterization, I think of it in different terms: Howard dresses with the innate good taste of a born-again surrealist.

#3: Howard's Passion for Fishing

Some people think that Howard moved to rural Washington state to pursue a deep passion for trout fishing, and that he spends many long hours standing in icy rivers, clad only in neoprene waders, watching fish breathe. This is only partly true. Howard moved to Washington in pursuit of the perfect tan, and turned to fishing only upon discovering his mistake.

#4: Howard's Scorn for the Big Bucks

Far too many people think that Howard views money with contempt. Actually, money views Howard with contempt.

#5: Howard's Bambi Table Lamp

Uh...this isn't a myth.

Howard does possess a Bambi table lamp, circa 1955. It has china butterflies.

Don't tell anyone I told you.


Home | Novels | Short Stories | Collections | Interviews | Links