Demiurge Applicant Screening Examination
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions completely.
Time Limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.
2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming your location. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
Create Life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicia, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal Tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel to be appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
If X equals PI times R^2, construct a formula showing how long it would take a fire ant to drill a hole through a dill pickle, if the length/girth ratio of the ant to the pickle were 98.17:1.
Construct a working model of a Tessaract. Utilize it to fold space and time in such a way that history, as we know it, is changed in a quantifiable manner. Prove your results via Boolean Algebra, incorporating graphical algorhythms. Convert to Base 2 and run again as a digital computer program.
Describe the Universe in its various hierarchal structures citing examples in all seven known and eleven theoretical dimensions. Give four examples.
Demonstrate the practical advantages and disadvantages of exploring the universe via Faster-than-Light travel versus dimension jump-gates and wormholes. Graph the impact of each on current levels of entropy and the eventual heat-death of the Universe.
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
Inside your desk you'll find a listing of the DEC/VMS operating system in IBM 1710 machine code. Show what changes are necessary to convert this code into a UNIX Berkeley 7 operating system. Prove that these fixes are bug free and run correctly. You should gain at least 150% efficiency in the new system. (You should take no more than 10 minutes on this question.)
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the National Debt while expanding Entitlements without raising taxes or cutting discretionary spending.
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
Sketch the development of human thought, estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.